Compass
by DangerTaylor
Summary: The Force bond that connects Rey and Kylo has been utterly silent after the Battle of Crait, driving Kylo close to madness. When Rey finds a forgotten momento aboard the Falcon, it sparks dreams of a cabin, a golden field, and a young Ben Solo. Is the Force opening another channel of connection to ensure that fate is satisfied?
1. One

**One**

What was left of the Resistance packed on to the _Millennium Falcon_ and raced away from the Crait System. Chewie sat in the co-pilot seat while Rey maneuvered them past the floating rubble that used to be the Supremacy.

A tear escaped her eye as she thought about all of the loss of life that day. She doubted her decisions. If she stayed with him, how many could have been saved? But Rey couldn't think of that at that moment, she had to get her friends to safety.

Chewie called out next to her, about to jump them into hyperspace. "Brace yourselves!" Rey called out over the ship's comm system.

The _Falcon_ seemed to wheeze when it was finally pulled from hyperspace. Rey and Chewie looked at each other, both knowing that the ship would need repairs before doing any other jumps.

"Where are we, Chewie?" Rey had depended on her co-pilot to get them to safety since he had traveled all over the galaxy, and she only knew Jakku.

" _Kashyyyk. My homeworld."_ The Wookiee roared as they descended through the thick cloud cover to a planet with blue oceans and dense forests covering much of the surface.

Rey was still in awe that there could be so much water and greenery in the universe. "Was it wise to bring us here? Won't they think to look for us here?"

Chewie just shrugged his shoulders and took over the controls to direct the ship to a part of the planet that he knew they would be hidden.

Leia came into the cockpit and placed her hand on Rey's shoulder, "The Wookiee have always been friends to the Republic and the Resistance."

Taking the Wookiee's lead, Rey helped to bring the _Falcon_ down in a clearing. The trees surrounding them were strange-looking, thicker than other trees she had seen, twisted trucks and short stubby canopies, each reaching for just a little more light from the planet's one star.

" _The Black Forest will shield us from detection."_

"The planet's magnetic field makes the Black Forest a dead zone to any electronic sensors," Leia added.

Rey's gut still turned with unease. She did not have to remind Leia that Kylo Ren did not use electronic devices. She had yet to tell anyone about the connection she had with Ben-with Kylo-while on Ahch-To.

The bond went silent when she felt Luke's Light leave the Force. Snoke was so confident that he was the designer of the bond. But even after Snoke's death, as she fought side by side with Ben, Rey still felt utterly connected to him. She was sure that if Luke was the creator of the bond that he would have told her why she needed to be connected to Kylo, but he seemed clueless until he saw them together in her hut.

They finished shutting down the flight systems, and she unfastened the four-point harness that held her in the pilot seat. Chewie followed her, and they went to address the other Resistance fighters.

Leia hung back for just a moment. Pulling something from her pocket, she turned the gold dice around in her hand for a moment before hanging them in their rightful place in the cockpit of _Falcon_. A name crossed her lips, barely above a whisper, "Ben."

When they lowered the ramp, the forest was quiet…almost too quiet. Chewie barked out an order and grabbed his bowcaster, going down the ramp first.

He made a few friendly, but warning calls to any other Wookiees that might be waiting for them in the tree cover. Before too long, a response came.

" _Chewbacca, is that you?"_

" _Lohgarra?"_ Chewie called back in reply.

A Wookiee with pure white fur came from behind a tree, her weapon drawn, but lowered it when she saw her long lost friend.

Rey peeked down the ramp and saw Chewie and a pale Wookiee embracing and squawking at each other in Shyriiwook. They were communicating too fast for her to follow, but she guessed by their interaction that the Resistance was welcome on the planet.

She walked cautiously up to her hairy friend, and then he started to gesturing to Rey and speaking even faster to the other Wookiee. "You both have to slow down. I only speak some Shyriiwook."

Having lived and worked beside a wide range of otherworldly beings, Rey was very accomplished in understanding close to fifteen languages.

Chewie called out that it was safe for the rest of the crew to come off the ship, and Rey yelled the command in Galactic Basic. Ten others walked off the _Falcon_ on to the soft soil of Kashyyyk.

Leia walked up to Lohgarra and wrapped her arms around the elder Wookiee. "It has been too long, my friend."

Lohgarra motioned with her arm and gave out a grunt, instructing the group to follow her.

Through a cover of thick brush came trees so large that they would dwarf a Star Destroyer. Winding staircases connected different levels of platforms built into the trees. On each platform stood small buildings, some no bigger than her stone hut on Ahch-To.

Survivors in need of medical attention were filtered off into a hut on a lower level, while Chewie, Leia, Rey, Poe, and Finn were ushered to a higher level. The structure the entered was built around the truck of the tree and offered a fantastic vantage point of the surrounding forest.

Rey was in awe and even gasped as she saw the bright yellow sun setting beyond the canopy. The Force within her blossomed as she surrounded herself with the pure wild of the land and connected to the massive trees and the beings that inhabit them. She quickly reined in her signature, not wanting to send out a signal to _him_.

Leia translated for Chewbacca and Lohgarra since she was most familiar with the Shyiiwook language.

" _What brings you to Kashyyyk?"_ Lohgarra asks.

Chewie quickly recaps the events of the past few weeks.

" _So, this is all that is left of the Resistance?"_

Leia steps forward, "Yes."

" _And Luke? The Jedi?"_

Both Leia and Chewie look back at Rey, who was still engrossed by the view from the treetop. "It's her." Leia states with a mix of dread and hope.

Lohgarra furrows her brow. " _You may stay for a while, but we are not equipped to take on the First Order."_

"We only need enough time to tend to the wounded and repair the _Falcon_ ," Rey stated, picked up on the last part of the conversation.

It was days later, and Chewie and Rey were still pulling apart the _Falcon_ , trying to find and repair what had been pieced together by the junkers on Jakku.

Rey was working on the cockpit console and removed an access panel to get to the wires and boards behind. She pulled at a steel sheet, cursing under her breath at the neglected ship. When the white but rusted panel gave way, she was met with a rat's nest of wires. "Gods, this is a mess," she said to herself before attempting to determine which connectors need replacing.

At the back of the compartment, there appeared to be a piece of paper. Rey reached through the maze of wires and reached it with her fingertips.

It was a photo, folded in half, and looking very worn. On the half that Rey could see, there was a grassy field with a forest in the background. The trees were not like the large ones on Kashyyyk, but smaller like the woods on Takodana.

The memory of Takodana came rushing back to Rey. Maz and the castle, the call from Anakin's lightsaber. The visions the Force showed her when she touched the saber also flooded her mind. Her screaming like a child, the rain struck battleground and the then-unknown masked man in black stalking her down, saber drawn. The cold forest of Star Killer Base and again, Kylo blocking her every attempt to escape. And then there was the voice that whispered to her-what had it said-something about the ' _first steps'_ and she swore she heard ' _It's Ben.'_

Again she shook him from her mind as she looked at the photo. Unfolding the photo and looking at the white backing, she saw in neat script, _Tralus-15 AYB._

She turned the photo over she was able to see the whole picture. Sucking in a breath, Rey almost dropped it to the ground. Standing in the middle of the tall grass was a much younger Leia and Han. But what struck her was the boy between them-Ben.

His head only came up to Han's mid-chest. His hair was still dark and shaggy, blowing in an unseen wind that cross the field just as the photo was taken. There was a carefree brightness to his eyes, and the smile that he wore almost brought her to tears.

Rey knew it was Ben, but the shadow of a man that she knew as Kylo Ren was nowhere in this picture. Her chest ached in an unfamiliar way. As a tear slid down her cheek, Rey quickly shut down her emotions, not wanting to send off a Force signal. She refolded the photo and slid it into her pants pocket.

In her room that night, Rey took out the photo again and tried to imagine herself in place of Ben. What would it have been like to have parents like Leia and Han? Kylo's voice rings her ears, ' _You would have been disappointed.'_

Sitting on her bed, which happened to be a padded mat on the floor of her hut, Rey placed the photo between the pages of a Jedi text. Her accommodation were on a platform over a hundred feet off the ground, and Rey was ever thankful that she was not fearful of heights.

That night's sleep was fitful. Rey found herself in that field, feeling the warm breeze that had ruffled Ben's hair in such a childish way. But the boy with dark hair and dark eyes was nowhere to be found.

"Kira!" Han called happily, and a small girl with brown hair came from the woods and ran into waiting arms.

"I found flowers, Da!" The girl said excitedly and held up a handful of white blossoms.

Han inspected the flowers and then smelled them, "Your mother will love these. Why don't you take them to her." Han placed the girl back on the ground, and Rey saw the child start to run towards a wooden structure.

Rey woke with a start. She was covered in sweat, and had tears streaming down her face.

She didn't sleep for the rest of the night, opting to walk along the platforms in the tree village. Firstly wondering why Han had called her-the girl a different name in the dream.

The field plagued her dreams almost nightly. Some times Han and Leia were there, other times it was just her. Then after being on Kashyyyk for nearly four weeks, the dreams changed.

On this night, she was a child again, a vision of her younger self. She was playing where the field met the forest, chasing a grasshopper as it jumped from blade to blade.

Toddling into the shadows of the forest, she laughed as she watched the little bug hop on to a tree. Then she let out a little gasp. From behind the tree came a boy, maybe five years older than herself. He was dressed like the boy in the photo.

"Hey," the boy said kindly. "What are you doing?"

Rey was pulled from inside the girl's body, and she watched the interaction as if floating above them.

"I'm trying to catch that grasshopper," the girl stated.

The boy looked around, seeing that the insect was much too high on the tree trunk to catch. He looked back down at the girl, "I'm Ben."

"Kira," the girl answer, using the strange name that somehow felt familiar to Rey.

"Do you want to play?" Ben asked.

The girl smiled, reaching out and tapping the boy on the chest. "Tag! You're it!" She yelled before running out into the field.

Ben gave chase, laughing in a way that almost sounded angelic.

Rey watched, unable to move, unable to wake as the two children ran around the flower dotted glen. Laughing and lightly tapping each other in an endless joyful game of tag.

A movement off to the left caught Rey's attention. Leia came out of the wooden home and was calling out to the girl.

"Kira! Time for supper!"

The girl grabbed the boy's hand, and together they ran for the home.

"Who is your friend?" Leia asked, seeing the flushed cheeks of both children.

"This is Ben. Can he stay for supper?" The girl asked, still not dropping the boy's hand.

Leia smiled, "Sure, why don't you both get washed up."

The children ran into the home, still hand in hand. It was only when Leia closed the door that Rey woke.

Her heart was racing, and her right hand was sweaty and _warm_. She quickly figured out that tonight would be another long night of walking the platforms.

Twenty-eight sleeps since his defeat on Crait. It was challenging to gauge day and night in the cold emptiness of deep space. The _Supremacy_ was destroyed and with it all of the evidence of his betrayal.

The Force bond with _the girl_ was deafeningly quiet. Kylo Ren paced in his quarters, bordering on madness. He was questioning if his current mental state was due to the constant interrogations from Hux concerning the death of Snoke, his new ascension to Supreme Leader, or his fear that the bond had been severed in death.

Kylo Ren ceased his movement; the thought of the girl being dead set a pain deep in his chest. He mused that if she were truly gone, he would have been able to feel it, just like he felt his mother's pain when he ran Han through.

Han, his mother-Rey. All of the pain that he caused was raining down on him, and he felt the swells of darkness attempting to pull him under.

Just thinking her name, for he had not let it cross his lips since the _Supremacy_ , cause a new flood of discomfort. He had begged, would have gone down on his knees if he thought it would help sway her to his side. But she rejected him, just as everyone else in his shallow life.

He needed to get out of his head. He wasted too much of his time on the dwindling hope that the girl… _his girl_ was still alive and that by some great mercy of the Force, their bond was still intact, but dormant.

Kylo Ren donned his new helmet and left his quarters, moving swiftly down the corridors with an awkward lumbering gait. His long black cloak flowed behind him, and he would almost look elegant if it also didn't appear that his feet were too heavy to move correctly.

Making his way to the bridge was like second nature, and his legs moved on their own accord. The perfectly slicked back orangish-blonde hair of General Hux seemed to mock Kylo. Under the mask, he was a mess, having not bathed or shaved in days. Outwardly he appeared to be the vision of a menacing Knight striving for revenge, but on the inside he was floundering.

"Nice of you to join us, Ren," Hux quipped, not taking his eyes off the light of stars in hyperspace speeding by the ship's bridge porthole.

Kylo let the snide remark slide with a roll of his shoulders. He never had a good relationship with Hux and with Snoke gone, if he was unable to keep Hux in check, Kylo feared what was to come of himself and the First Order.

"What is our course?" Ren asked just as flat as his fatigued mind would let him.

Hux finally turned to look at his black-clad companion. "I am not sure you need to be privy to that information." Hux turned again, looking at the star maps on the display screens. "You have managed to botch every mission concerning the Resistance, and Command had lost faith in you."

Kylo's hands tighten in his black leather gloves. He was attempting to not take his rage out on everyone working the bridge. Hux knew what he was doing, choosing his words carefully, prodding at the verbal and emotional abuse they both received while _training_ under Snoke and Hux's father. But he also wanted to remind Hux of his power, so Kylo reached out with the Force, just enough to induce discomfort.

Hux made a gagging sound and then rounded on Kylo with wide eyes. When the choking sensation passed, the expression of indifference returned, "If you are done with your childish tricks, I do have a job for you."

Ren turned his masked face toward Hux and cocked his head slightly to the side, intrigued.

"With Captain Phasma out of commission, the troopers need a new leader…"

"I will not lead an army of thoughtless troopers. My unique abilities would be wasted on such a task."

Hux exhaled, annoyed, "You will be selecting a new Captain." The General almost had a smile pull at the corners of his lips with the next statement. "Again, the Command does not trust you with anything remotely important to the rebuilding of the First Order."

Kylo swiftly threw back the right side of his cloak, exposing his lightsaber. Hux had the curtsy to flinch in anticipation of Ren's reaction. Usually, Kylo would fly into a fit, igniting his saber, slashing, and destroying the closest inanimate object. Instead, he just smirked behind his mask, satisfied that Hux still feared him.

"Consider it done," Ren drawled while spinning and stalking out of the bridge.

Once the automatic doors to the bridge closed behind him, Kylo's gait became more lumbering, his shoulders rolling forward just slightly. Although he was only an inch taller than Hux, in his mask and boots, he appeared to tower over the sniveling General.

Kylo Ren may be the new Supreme Leader in title, but Hux still controlled the troopers. If he was ever going to make changes to the First Order and have a chance of Rey ruling beside him in their New Order, he needed to pick his commanders carefully.

Back in his quarters, the mask that hid his guilt and conflict made a hissing sound as the mouthpiece moved up and out, allowing Kylo to free his head of its confines.

He removed his cowl, tunic, and undershirt before sitting on his bed and pulling his boots from his feet. Taking an elastic band from the table next to the bed, Kylo tied his hair into a knot on top of his head.

Sitting down on the floor in the middle of his room, Kylo hated that he devoted so much of his time looking for her. A few times a day, he would sit like this, in mediation, searching for her Force signature. He could no longer feel his uncle and his mother's signature was faint, but there.

Was Rey hiding from him? Had she learned how to put up a block? Who was teaching her? Surely not his mother.

Kylo worried for her, knowing how strong she was with the Force and how confusing it can be not to know how to channel that power.

His time at the academy felt like Luke was trying to mold him into something that he was not. With Snoke, again who Kylo was expected to be, did not fit. Now more than ever, he felt torn in two. The Light and the Dark both fought for control, and he just wished for balance.

Over an hour of medication turned up nothing. Kylo felt Force users in the galaxy, but none of them were _her_. He stood from the floor and entered the fresher to ready for bed.

Twenty-nine sleeps. Thirty sleeps. Thirty-one sleeps. Kylo felt his sanity slip each day without feeling Rey through the Force. He practiced in his mind what he would say to her if she were to let him in. He would fall at her feet and beg for forgiveness. He would rage at her for being so foolish and reckless going back to the Resistance. He would tell her that he…that he…no he couldn't tell her that.

Another night of silence awaited him. At this point, he felt that he was going to drown in loneliness. Rey told him that he wasn't alone, but in the quiet of his darkened room, with no one on the ship that could understand the battle that was raging within him, it was the most alone a person could ever feel.

For some reason, that night, he dreamed about a holiday that he took with his parents when he was ten years old. It was in the Corellian System, but he could not remember the name of the world that they spent almost a month on.

This holiday was right before his mother went away to handle the Black Fleet Crisis. Right before he was shipped off to his uncle at the academy, this was the last time they were together as a family. The last time that he felt love, hope, and fulfillment.


	2. Two

**Two**

Kylo Ren makes the thirty-seventh mark on the back of his wardrobe door. One scratch made into the dark wood for each day that he was been without the Force bond, without _her_.

Today he had to play Supreme Leader and oversee a demonstration from all of the trooper Lieutenants. He had already taken the liberty to read each Lieutenant's dossier and just needed to see their style of leadership. Above all though, he needed to have an opportunity to get into their minds, find the one who questions the current positions of the First Order.

His facial hair was getting longer and it stated to rub on the inside of his helmet. He mused that it may be time to get cleaned up, face the truth that she was gone. Perhaps the bond was linked to Snoke, but then why did he connect to her on Crait, long after Snoke was dead.

Had he angered the Force? Was this a punishment for having a part in killing Luke Skywalker? He hated to be out of control. He wanted to know what was next, what could have been, and he wanted to change so much…so much.

Pressing the latch on the side of his helmet, it moved the mouth piece into place and he had to push any thoughts of Rey and the Resistance from his mind.

There were four guards waiting outside of his door. He didn't need the protection, but it was more of a show of force as two marched a few paces in front of him and two behind.

The exercises were taking place in the cavernous hangar of the Finalizer. Four companies of troopers were lined up perfectly in front of their respective Lieutenant. Ren walked along the front of each company, pretending to give a damn about how clean their armor was or how straight their formation.

He already knew the two Lieutenants that he was looking to promote were TN 1002 and FN 932. The deserter FN 2187 had been under the command of TN 1002 and Kylo wondered if this company commander was under the same mind set as the traitor.

There was a throne like seat in the middle of the hangar and Ren was escorted by his guards to the chair. Now seated, he waved his hand in a passive but regal manner. "Proceed," he stated before muting the vocalizer in his mask.

By the time the second company was setting up to run their drill, Ren was drifting. The sleepless nights were wearing on him and besides, he found this type of formality a bore.

It wasn't surprising to him that within his dream he was back in the field on Tralus. Since his last dream of this place, he had looked at the star maps and was able to pinpoint the world.

It was always day on Tralus, at least in these dreams it was. Usually it was quiet aside for the sounds of the wildlife and elements. In this dream, the wind was blowing a little faster than before and on the breeze came the sound of what he could only describe as giggling.

He was deep in the woods and he moved towards the sound. He hoped it would be Rey, but mused that he would be just as satisfied if it was his mother. Still under the cover of the darkness of the tree line, he could see two figures in the middle of the field.

At first he thought that it was just another memory of his mother, as the dark haired woman was sitting with a young boy, a young him. Then he heard her voice, the accent that was richer than her humble scavenger upbringing.

His Rey was sitting in the tall grass with ten year old Ben and they were talking about star crafts. She was teaching him about hyperdrives and the boy looked at her in absolute amazement.

Her musical laugh echoed around the forest as little Ben stood and started to run around her with his arms out stretched. "I wish I could run at hyper speed!"

"It would be something indeed," Rey said with a genuine smile. "But just think about having to slow down."

"I would never slow down," Little Ben said as he came back to Rey and fell to the ground next to her.

They were both quiet for a moment and Kylo didn't dare even breath. Little Ben looked up at the crystal blue sky, "Kira?"

Rey shifted to look down at the boy, "Yes, Ben?"

Kylo was very confused as to why his younger self was calling her by a different name. Perhaps she wanted to keep her identity a secret.

"Do you think…when I'm grown…that I will meet someone like you?"

"What do you mean?" Rey asked.

"I think I could love someone like you," Little Ben said, almost absentmindedly.

Kylo had shifted at this statement and a twig snapped under his weight. Both Rey and Little Ben turned towards the sound and there he stood, frozen.

Rey's eyes went wide and Ben screamed, before gripped his arms around her neck and staring to cry. Rey stood, with the boy still in her arms and whispered, "I will protect you."

Just inside the tree line was Kylo Ren, mask and all. He did not pace towards her, or draw his saber. He didn't even reach out with the Force to detain her. Holding Ben closer to her, she started to step backwards, away from the formidable figure.

"What are you doing here?" She yelled across the space between them.

Ren tried to speak, but no sound came from his lips. His mask acted as a muzzle. He feared that she would try to run from him, so he took a step forward and reached out his hand to attempt to reassure her.

His action had the opposite reaction. Rey closed her eyes and crouched down to further protect the boy in her arms.

Rey woke weeping. She had the dream world to herself for almost five weeks and she had just started to spend time with Little Ben in her adult form. She had wished and prayed that there was a small piece of that little boy still inside Kylo Ren.

She had tried to imagine what that boy would grow up to be, if he had not felt so abandoned by his family and been tortured and manipulated by Snoke.

None of that mattered in this moment. Kylo Ren had appeared in her dream and now she had to investigate if he was a figment of her mind or their bond had reconnected.

* * *

Kylo jerked in his chair, having been thrown from the dream. He moved his head only slightly side to side to see if any of the other commanders had noticed his inattentiveness.

His mind raced. Had she really been there? Had their bond been rekindled? Or had he just been that desperate to see her that he dreamed her up?

The second company had competed their entire drill and he felt his anxiety getting the better of him and he just wanted to run from the room, get into his transport craft, and search the entire galaxy for her.

He unmuted his mask and rose, all of the guards and companies quickly stood at attention. "TN 1002 and FN 932, report to my office at 1300." He was satisfied that his voice did not shake or crack.

As he started to walk from the hangar he heard some grumbles from the other Lieutenants, but he could care not. He needed to get to his quarters and get his swimming head out of this damned cage.

He was already pulling at the helmet as he crossed the threshold to his quarters. The mask was throw across the room as he yelled out his pain.

Why did he have to appear to her as Kylo Ren. If she could have seen his eyes, heard his voice, she would have know that it was Ben…her Ben.

If the bond opened again, he could not look like the shadow of himself that was now mocking him in the reflective surfaces around the room. He moved quickly to the fresher, leaving a trail of black clothing in his wake.

The water was scalding. He scrubbed every part of him. Too much blood on these hands for them to ever be clean, he mused. He took a laser razor to his matted beard. Her mark that scarred the right side of his face was now more visible. He ran his finger along the divots in his skin. The burn of the memory was almost comforting.

His eyes held so much more than their usual self loathing. He was fearful and hopeful at the same time. He wanted to be able to sleep this moment, for the smallest chance of see her again.

Their interaction in the dream was not promising. She still feared him, hated him. But the way she was with his younger self, how she smiled at him, held him close, protected Ben from Kylo Ren, he wondered if there was still a part of her that cared.

Having little over an hour before he needed to report to his office to meet with the two Lieutenants, he slipped on some under clothes and sat on the cold black floor, falling in to a meditative state as quickly as he could.

His mind reached, searched, and hoped. He found his mother's Force signature and he prayed that Rey was close by. Then it hit him like a blast from a bowcaster. Her Light was there but she was bathed in Darkness, fear and anger. He knew he was the cause of this and he wanted nothing more than to bring back her Light.

* * *

After waking from the dream Rey needed to expel some of her built up energy and fear. She moved for her staff and then descended to ground level. She found a secluded place on the far side of a cluster of trees.

First she cried. Seeing him again and with the mask that haunted her for months, was more than she could bear. She screamed out her frustration before swinging around her staff and pummeling a young tree until it was reduced to splinters.

Still with tears clouding her vision and staining her face she turned, almost embarrassed that she took the life of the tree. Her breathing stopped in an instant. Maybe five paces from her Kylo Ren sat on the forest floor. His hair was wet and he only wore undershorts that clung to his muscular thighs. Rey betrayed herself as she took an extra moment to take in all of him, never have seen a man in this state of undress.

His eyes were closed, his hands resting limply on his bent knees. He appeared to be deep in meditation. Rey pinched herself to ensure that this was not a dream. A yelp from the pain stimuli escaped her lips.

Ren's eyes shot open and there she stood.

Her clothing was rumpled and she was dripping with sweat. She held her staff, both hands tight on it's grips, ready to attack.

He stood and reached out his hand again, ready to speak. But he was not given the chance.

"Murderer!" Rey yelled as she charged towards him, staff now raised above her head.

Ren could have used the Force to call for his lightsaber. He could have used the Force to hold her in place, much like he did on Takodana. But he did none of those. Instead he remained weaponless, only using his hand and arms to block her shots. She needed this, he deserved this.

Rey brought her staff down on him again and again. Kylo crossed his arms over his head to block a blow. She swung the staff around and tried a stabbing shot to his flank. He countered by arching his body around the staff. She watched as the muscles moved, each block or counter made a different cluster ripple under his pale skin.

"Why are you not fighting back?" She was so angry but did not want to beat a defenseless man. She then scoffed at herself, Kylo Ren was far from defenseless.

"I'm tried of fighting with you," he answered back, ducking from another swing of her staff.

Rey's arms went slack, her staff fell to the ground. She was so exhausted, not only from the physical demands of training and then engaging with Ren, but also emotionally and mentally spent.

Kylo came out of his defensive stance. "I thought I lost you."

"When was that? When you were shooting ion cannons at me or when you switched to laser cannons on the AT-ATs!" Rey was fuming.

"If I had known…"

"You knew I was returning to the Resistance!" Rey looked around her, scared that he could figure out where they were. "Can you see my surroundings?"

"No, it's always just you," Ren turned away from her, it killed him to do so, but he knew that his close to nakedness would cause her to be uncomfortable.

"Hey! Where are you going? We are not done here!" Rey called after him. She saw him lift something and then he slid a black robe over his shoulders, closing the front of it with a tie, "Oh," she remarked, her cheeks turning pink.

"To calm your fears, I do not know where you are, but I do know you are with my mother."

She had been so careful to shield her Force signature but never thought about Leia's. An awkward silence fell between them, neither knew what to say to the other.

"I'm sorry I frightened you in the dream." Ren hoped that she heard the sincerity in his voice.

Rey stood taller, "I wasn't frightened. You should be apologizing to Ben…" she understood the error in her statement far too late.

Ren smiled, a strange expression for him these days, "Please tell your Little Ben that I am sorry."

That smile, the pull at the corner of his lips that caused his cheeks to wrinkle. How he slightly looked down and then up through his lashes at her. Rey sucked in a breath, "Ben?"

"Rey…"

And he was gone.

Kylo was left looking at the dark and empty corner of his quarters. "Rey," he spoke again with the hopes that sheer desire to see her would bring her back.

His focus was drawn away by a knock on his door. "Sir, the Lieutenants are waiting," one of his guards announced.

Now he was very thankful that he has shaved, since this was the first time since Crait that he had been seen without his mask. "I'll be out in a moment."

The guard bowed and then left the room. Kylo looked to the empty corner one last time before moving to redress. He could already see the formation of bruises on his arms from Rey's strikes. While he knew that he would be sore the next day, he was thrilled that their bond still held a physical component.

He was ten minutes late to his own meeting with the Lieutenants. Both TN 1002 and FN 932 stood and saluted when Kylo entered the room.

"At ease," Ren's mechanical voice sounded. "FN 932," he pointed a black gloved finger at the trooper.

The trooper with an orange shoulder plate followed behind Kylo into a larger room with a simplistic desk. There was a large window that over looked the armory. Kylo sat in a low black leather chair and gestured to the Lieutenant to take the one opposite him.

"As you have possibly heard, I am seeking to promote one of you to Captain in Phasma's wake."

"Yes, sir." Came the masculine voice of the trooper.

"How long have you been a Lieutenant?"

"Four years, sir."

"How many missions have you commanded?"

"Seventeen. All but one have been successful."

While they were exchanged conversations, Ren was already reaching into the Lieutenant's mind. Softly, as to not be detected. "Why do believe that you failed the one mission?"

"Permission to speak candidly, sir?"

Ren nodded his head.

"Bad intel from leadership, sir."

This line of questioning opened up the trooper's doubts about the current leadership and the direction of the First Order. Unfortunately for FN 932, the doubt also fell on Kylo Ren.

"That will be all, FN 932." Kylo waved his hand to dismiss the trooper.

As the one Lieutenant exited, the next entered. TN 1002 was shorter than FN 932, and wore a purple shoulder plate. Again Kylo motioned for the trooper to sit opposite him.

"I have been tasked to select a new Captain."

"Yes, sir." The feminine voice of the trooper took Ren by surprise.

He asked the same questions of this Lieutenant. She reported that she had been in command of her company for just two years and that had only been tasked with nine missions due to directing a training company.

"You had FN 2187 in your command, did you not?"

The trooper shifted in her seat, "Yes, sir."

"Do you find that traitors often come from your company?" Ren wanted to invoke a fear response to open the troopers mind.

She again shifted, "No, sir. There was no indication in FN 2187's training that he would defect. He even went through reconditioning."

Kylo was in her mind, she was scared. She also thought that if it wasn't for the at time barbaric tactics of stormtrooper training, that more would feel genuine loyalty to their commanders.

"If you were to lead the battalion, what would you change?"

"Psychological profiles, sir."

"Meaning?"

"Some troopers, like FN 2187, are not fit for the front line. Finding the strengths and weakness of each trooper and placing them into positions where they feel fulfilled, I think will increase morale."

Kylo was smug. He had picked wisely. This Lieutenant didn't think like most troopers. "How many times have you been sent to reconditioning?"

TN 1002 again shifted uncomfortably. "Four times, sir."

"Yet you became a Lieutenant. How is that possible?"

"As you are most likely in my head," the trooper squared her shoulders, "there is no point in my lying to you."

Ren remained silent.

"I am good at doing and saying what wants to be seen and heard."

"Even if you do not believe in what you are saying or doing?"

"Having consciousness of thought as a trooper is not a highly sought after quality."

Kylo enjoyed her frankness and moxie. He felt that she could be an ally in his move away from the First Order and towards a New Order.

"I have differing ideas of the direction of the Order from that of Hux." Kylo wanted to gauge her response.

The trooper could discern where his line of thought was heading, "He is my General sir, but you are my Supreme Leader."

This time when Kylo entered her mind, he wanted her to feel it. She flinched. She had admitted to being able to say what was needed to accomplish a goal, but he wanted to be sure that her loyalty was steadfast.

Her mind was clear and with every fiber of her being she was loyal to the Supreme Leader. She would be loyal to Kylo Ren.

"You are dismissed, Captain."

The trooper paused a moment, understanding that she had passed his test and that she was being promoted. She wondered about where Kylo Ren wanted to take the First Order.

"In time," Kylo started to answer her unasked question, "all will be revealed."

* * *

Finn had been looking for Rey around the tree village since she didn't show up for breakfast and he couldn't find her anywhere. Then from below, he heard a yell and he ran swiftly down the stairs and out into the forest. "Rey!" He called out as he continued to run towards where he thought the cry came from.

He found her in a small clearing, a demolished tree behind her, and her staff at her feet. "Rey…" he repeated, more carefully this time. Her face was stained with tears and she looked…torn was the only word he could think of to describe her.

"I'm fine," she stated in a tone that relayed that she was indeed, not fine at all. Rey walked past Finn, calling her staff to her hand with the Force, and continued back towards the village. She needed time to herself. She had to process that the bond was back…that Ben was back.

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you for reading! Leave me a comment about what you think so far. Have you listened to the song yet? Can you see Reylo in that song?**

 **Also - I have another Reylo story that I am working on that is a crossover. It's called The Rise and it would mean a lot to me if you took the time to check that one out too!**

 **Love y'all!**


	3. Three

**Three**

Rey found herself up in the conference room of the Wookiee village, the same one that they had been brought to when the Resistance first arrived on this world. From here she could see for miles, yet she felt that she was blind to what was right in front of her.

Her Force bond with Kylo…Ben was back. Snoke had lied to them. Just another part of his manipulation. Something else was fueling their bond, something even more powerful than Snoke.

Her heart ached for Ben. When they had touched back on Ahch-To, she had not only seen his future, she had seen his past. The pain, both physical and emotional was almost too much to comprehend.

Ben's future…her future…their future. They were so intertwined that she had difficulty determining one from the other. While she had denied his hand on the Supremacy, she knew that it was a moot point, she would end up by his side, in the end.

She had trusted in the Force thus far, why did she have any need to doubt the fate that had been laid out for her…for them? But how could she reconcile her feelings with the truth of what Kylo Ren was. He had killed, in cold blood, been an obedient attack dog for the First Order. He killed his own father in search of pure Darkness.

How could she ever take his hand, smile up at him as she had seen in the vision? How could her heart want something completely different from her mind?

Rey was pulled from her thoughts when she heard her name called.

"Ah," said Leia, breathing somewhat hard from walking up all the stairs. "Finn said I would find you here."

"It's a good place to just be…and think."

"What is troubling you child?" Leia sat down in one of the large chairs handcrafted from the local timber.

Rey looked back out over the forest, "Just everything. I mean, just a few months ago I was a no body on Jakku and now…"

"You are the last Jedi," Leia finished for her.

Worrying her lip for a moment, Rey knew that she could not open up completely about her bond to Ben, but she needed answers and didn't know who to turn to. "What about Ben?"

"My son is gone. There is nothing left of him, Kylo Ren has destroyed every piece of him." Leia repeated the words that she had spoken to Luke and looked down into her lap.

"But what if a part of him is still in there?"

"He killed my Han, his father, and attempted, twice, to kill me." The words hurt for her to speak, but she needed the girl to understand how lost to the Dark Ben was.

Rey was silent for a long moment. "He killed Snoke for me."

Leia knew she should have asked for a debrief after Rey rejoined them but the girl had seemed so tired and overall unapproachable. "I think it's time you tell me exactly what happened on the Supremacy."

Still unsure if she should tell Leia everything, Rey stuck to the more important facts. "I went to try and convince Ben…Kylo Ren to come back to the Light but he took me to Snoke. Something must have changed his mind and he cut Snoke down with your father's lightsaber." This was the part where she may have to hide some of the truths. "We fought the Praetorian guards, side by side, and then he asked me to join him."

"Join him?"

Rey looked down at her hands that were wringing around each other. "To rule the galaxy with him."

After a pause Rey lifted her eyes to met Leia's. "I don't understand." The older woman was wavering between concerned mother and suspicious General.

"Neither do I," Rey lied. "I think he only was drawn to my power within the Force." The untrue words were bitter on her tongue, but after she saw the flash of concerns from the Resistance General in Leia's eyes, she could not tell her about the bond.

"So he lashed out at the Resistance after you denied him," Leia mused.

Tears came back to Rey's eyes, "I keep wondering how many I could have saved if I had just stayed with him."

Leia crossed the room and wrapped Rey in a motherly embrace. "You did the right thing. I would never want you to be enslaved to Kylo Ren, your Light is too bright for that."

Rey nodded and wiped the tears that had fallen. She didn't mention that Ben had been asking her to rule as his equal, that they had a deeper understanding of each other, and a strained and unspoken, but mutual attraction to one another.

"I think I am going to meditate for a while," Rey needed this line of questioning to end before she ended up divulging too much information.

Leia just nodded and watched the young girl leave the room. She crossed to the open balcony and went to stand where Rey once was, over looking the Black Forest. The pain that had been festering in her gut was back and she slumped over, taking a few deep breaths. The discomfort passed and she wiped some sweat from her brow before leaving the treetop conference room for her quarters.

Rey had to get somewhere she would have privacy. She was going to reach out to him. She needed answers and he owed that to her.

She ended up on the Falcon. It was far enough away from the compound that no one would hear her talking to Ben through the bond and she would appear to be just working on the ship like many other days.

Sitting down in the middle of the galley, she closed her eyes and relaxed her body, letting her Force signature stretch across the galaxy. She felt him before she saw him.

When she opened her eyes he was there, bare chested but in black light-weight pants. He appeared to be laying down, but had propped himself up on his elbow when he sensed her.

"Hello," Ben said awkwardly.

Rey shook her head and took her focus off the expanse of his toned chest, "Did I wake you?"

"No, but it is night here. Is it day where you are?" He sat up and threw his legs over the side of bed, making no move this time to cover himself.

This meeting was so different than any of their others. There was no heated argument, no accusations of harm or hate. It was more like acquaintances making small talk after years of no contact, but these two people in particular shared an immense, boarding on intrusive, connection.

"Yes," Rey simply answered. She looked over him again, seeing the discoloration on his arms and shoulders. The marks from where her staff made contact with him earlier that day. "You are hurt," the statement held some concern.

Ben looked down to his arms, the bruising showing a muddied purple on his pale skin. "Nothing I haven't endured before."

"Why didn't you fight back?"

"I told you, I am tired of fighting with you."

"Why?" Rey was so confused. "I am your enemy."

Ben laughed, still such a strange sound to both of their ears. "You are the farthest thing from an enemy to me."

Rey's face scrunched still in confusion.

"Perhaps I was not clear in Snoke's throne room," Ben moved from the bed, sliding down to sit on the floor before scooting the few feet until he was placed crossed legged, an arms length from Rey.

"You wanted me to come to the Dark with you. Rule over the galaxy with the First Order. Betray my friends…your mother." Rey's fire was coming out now. "Does that about sum it up?"

Ben hung his head, his dark hair falling into his face. He let out a breathy snort of a laugh before lifting his head and using his right hand to pull his hair from his view of her. "Oh my little light, in the moment that may have been what I was asking of you."

The term of endearment was not lost on Rey and she found that it confused and excited her all at once.

When she did not counter him, Ben continued. "First let me tell you how sorry I am for not ordering the ceasefire on the Resistance fleet." As he spoke he reached out and attempted to grasp one of her delicate hands in his.

The briefest touch set them both ablaze and Rey pulled away as if she had in fact been burned.

Ben knew that she had not rejected his gesture in malice, "I feel it too," he reassured her that he too was very aware of their connection.

What he wasn't aware of, was that those were the very words he had spoken to Rey when she was shackled to his integration table. Rey was again reminded of all the horrible acts that Kylo Ren had committed during her short time with the Resistance. Each time she was with him, she felt her self slipping further into him. This reminder of who was really behind the charming, beautiful face of the man sitting so close to her, allowed her to breath.

"You were apologizing," she reminded him.

"If I could go back and do it all again I would."

"Does that include killing your father?"

That question felt like a knife being twisted in his gut. "Yes," he almost whispered, meeting her gaze with just as much intensity.

She was shocked by this admission. She was not expecting him to be so candid with her.

"I have never lied to you Rey."

"Were you just reading my thoughts?" Rey asked with disgust.

"No," Ben smiled again, an action that he was becoming quite accustom to in her presence. "It was written in your expression."

Thinking back to all of their interactions, whether it was physically or through bond, he was correct in his statement. He had always been honest with her. She was brought back out of her musing by his outstretched hand.

"May I?" He asked, as he motioned his bare hand towards the side of her face.

Rey wasn't sure what he expected to do, but she was willing to find out just to feel the fire one more time. She nodded her head curtly.

Ben leaned just a bit more forward, letting his hand skim against the side of her face. His bare skin against hers seemed to send jolts of electricity through them both and Rey sucked in a gulp of breath. Ben smirked, meeting her beautify hazel eyes for just a moment before his thick lashed lids slid closed in concentration.

He opened his mind to her, a very vulnerable action on his part, but he needed Rey to see what he had wanted for them. He made no move to intrude on her thoughts, just gave her his.

 _They were in the throne room, Snoke was prattling on behind her as she knelt before Kylo Ren._

 _"_ _I know what I have to do," Ren said with certainty. He never broke eye contact with Rey, he nodded his head slightly, hoping that she would know that he would never hurt her._

 _"_ _Ben," Rey pleaded._

 _How he wished he could drop to his knees with her, take her face in his hands and tell her that he could not exist without her Light. But he just had to stand there, flat but slightly pained affect across his face. His left hand twitched, turning his grandfather's lightsaber._

 _His fist clinched, and Rey was released from Snoke's hold. Ren only glanced up briefly to see his former Master in two pieces on the floor, but then he moved his gaze back to Rey._

 _In the next moment chaos broke out around them and their fight with the guards was played out. Rey could feel the worry and amazement that Kylo felt watching her hold her own against some of the best trained warriors in the First Order._

 _Once the last guard had fallen, Kylo having ignited the lightsaber through his eye socket, this is where the memory started to sway._

 _Kylo dropped the saber, the metal clattering against the now rubble covered floor. He strode over to Rey who was looking out of the porthole at the Resistance fleet that was still being fired upon._

 _"_ _Rey, come with me," he held out his hand/_

 _"_ _We have to save them. Order them to stop firing!"_

 _"_ _We will save them all, we will save the galaxy, but you have to come with me now!" Kylo was getting desperate. His voice was pleading. "If we are going to take the bridge, we have to go now!"_

 _Realization came over Rey and she took his hand. As they ran from the room, they both used the Force to call their lightsabers to their free hands, hooking the sabers in their rightful places._

 _They charged onto the bridge, seeing Hux standing by the porthole and calling out orders to charge cannons and fire on the fleeing Resistance ships._

 _"_ _Hux, stop!" Kylo called out._

 _The ginger noticed Ren hand in hand with a girl…the girl._

 _To Kylo's surprise, before Hux could make one of his snotty remarks, Rey had dropped his hand was now using the Force to choke Hux. "Stop firing on those ships!" She demanded._

 _Just as in the throne room, chaos broke out and Kylo and Rey fought side by side, advancing on the control boards at the front of the room. Hux had been thrown against a wall and was incapacitated. Ren was able to disable the firing systems and Rey drew a sigh of relief as she watched the remain transports speed to safety._

 _Again Kylo staked to her, needing to be in her orbit. "Come with me."_

 _"_ _Where? Do we need to take another area of the ship?"_

 _"_ _No," Kylo pulled off his gloves and grabbed both of her hands, needing to feel her skin. "Leave with me. Let me teach you. Lead with me. Rule with me. Be with me."_

While Ben wanted to project what he would have hoped her reply would be, he did not want to show that reoccurring fantasy to Rey.

He opened his eyes and saw a single tear roll down her face. He caught it with the pad of his thumb, as he was still cradling her face in his large hand.

"If only that was how it had all turned out, but you made a major mess of everything Ben." Rey wanted to drive back into that vision and scream 'Yes' but she knew that could not be. They couldn't be. Her chest ached at the thought.

She had not pushed his hand away, and he was bathing in her Light. "I am trying to fix it."

"You can't bring the dead back to life, Ben!" Rey pulled away from him and stood, the burn between them extinguished. Pacing a small circle where she has been seated, she ranted, "People died that day. People always seem to die when you are involved!"

Ben stood as well. He did not move, just let her pace a few steps from him. "I was blinded by Snoke and a boyish desire for revenge against my uncle."

"So what has changed now that you want to put right what you have so haphazardly destroyed?"

"You, I have you."

Rey stopped so suddenly that she almost tripped over her own feet. "I am not yours," she shot back.

"You once told me that I wasn't alone…"

"You aren't!" Rey fired off, "You have me."

Ben smirked again. Rey was getting tired of seeing his smug face, although it was better than the brooding, self loathing expression that Kylo Ren carried.

"Rey, I still want you…"

The bond was broken when Rey heard a load crash behind her. Finn stood in the doorway that led from the ramp with a sorry expression on his face. He had knocked over a box of parts and now pulleys and wires were scattered across the deck.

"I head you yelling," Finn looked around the ship. "Who were you talking to?"

Rey scrambled to her feet. "No one," she lied. "I talk to myself when I'm trying to work through something."

"Anything I can help with?"

Finn's smile was lopsided and friendly. His eyes were deep and kind. Rey compared this to the intense yearning in Ben's eyes and the sensual feelings that his cocky smirk gave her. "No, just some personal things."

Finn moved towards her and wrapped her in a warm hug. Tenthly she returned the gesture, the lack of spark was apparent and it made any other human contact seem trivial.

* * *

"…to join me." Ben finished, but she was gone.

At first he stood absolutely paralyzed. Then his anger boiled over. His Force exploded and the lighting in his room popped, raining sparks down around him.

She had listened to him, let him touch her, let him open his mind to her. She was considering him. She had said that he had her, that he wasn't alone. Damned this Force bond. He needed to find her. He needed to be with her.

If he left now, all of this would be for naught. The First Order would go on under the control of Hux and the evil and mass destruction would continue.

No, he needed to stay. See his plan through. Create the New Order and carve out a place for Rey at his side.

Ben forced himself to return to his bed. He wanted to sleep, in hopes that he would be brought to her in the dream world on Tralus.

He found it strange that light started to flash behind his eye lids. Opening his eyes, he also became giddy when he found that he way lying in the grassy field of the Twin Worlds.

Getting to his feet as quickly as possible, he ran further into the field, looking for Rey. He turned at the sound of his name.

"Ben! Where have you been? Your father and I have been worried sick."

His mother was coming towards him, her arms outstretched. She was just as he remembered her. Her long hair was braided and wrapped around her head. Her kind brown eyes mirrored his. She was upon him now and placed her hands on either side of his face. "You can't run off like that."

Ben was frozen. He recalled this memory. He had wondered off, following a creek down to a larger lake. His father had been very cross with him, mostly for worrying his mother so.

"I'm sorry mother," he replied on instinct.

"Oh, it's alright my dear boy. Just next time let your father go with you."

His father had not been so forgiving. His punishment for running off was to split the wood for that night's fire. After a while he almost found the task therapeutic. Snoke had already started to worm his way into Ben's thoughts by this time and it had been a good outlet to the rage that was staring to build in him.

In this dream world, he was now a grown man being scolded by his father. He would take the punishment a million times over if he could only have the old man's hazel eyes look upon him one more time.

"You need to stop and think Ben! Your mother couldn't live if something happened to you."

Ben had noted, even at a young age that his father never relayed how he would have felt, should something have happen to Ben. It was always a connection back to his mother.

So for old times sake, Ben stepped up to the chopping block and pulled the ax from the large stump that it was embedded in. The worn wood of the handle was smooth in his hands and he felt the weight the iron blade.

The first swing rang true. The log splitting into three pieces from the sheer force of his hit. Half way through the pile, with the Corellian sun beating down on him, he removed his shirt and continued chopping.

Rey stood just in the shadows. She had always seen the ax next to the log home, but had never seen Han use it. But for now she was transfixed by watching Ben manage the wood pile.

His skin seemed to glisten in the sun light, beads of sweat rolling down the planes of his back. She would be lying if she refused to call him handsome. Her body wanted to move of it's own accord and reach out and touch him, just to feel their spark.

But instead she let him have this moment. She had been in the dream world just long enough to see Ben interact with his mother and father and she wanted him to feel some normalcy.

So instead of giving into her deepest and most concealed desires, Rey walked back into the darkness of the forest, wishing to ride this dream out in solitude.

* * *

 **AN: Goodness I love this story. I can't wait to unfold more of this for you guys!**

 **Let me know what you think so far. Thanks for reading!**


	4. Four

**Four**

Another day on Kashyyyk and Rey was even more on edge. Finn seemed to follow her around like a sad lost dire hound. She had hardly had a moment to herself, let alone a moment to attempt to reach out to Ben.

A part of her, buried down deep, missed him. It was the way he looked at her, with such pining. It was the way he said her name, as if it was the sweetest word that ever left his lips. It was the way he gravitated to her, as if their very souls were meant to be linked.

Then again, it could just be the sticky heat of the forest that was getting to her.

Rey wished for the latter, but knew she was just fooling herself.

She had not seen him in days. Even the dream world was void of Ben. She had still spent time with Little Ben, which she treasured, but it was the man with the dark self loathing eyes that she craved.

Looking down at her feet and walking the dirt path out to the Falcon, Rey was startled to see black boots coming into her line of sight. Stopping abruptly, Finn ran into the back of her, causing Rey to stumble forwards.

Ben, in all black and wearing the Kylo Ren helmet reached out to brace her fall. She was caught in his arms just as her knees were about to hit the ground.

Rey's gaze moved from his chest, where her face was buried, to his mask covered face. A moment of fear ran through her expression. That mask had haunted her, but it was the man under the mask that she had been praying to see for days.

"What are you stopping for?" Finn said from behind her, placing his hands on her sides just above her hips in an action that he felt would steady her.

Rey thought she heard Ben hiss from behind the mask. "Tell him to unhand you." His voice held a calm and restrained malice, "Now."

Confusion laced her eyes, but she righted herself and brushed Finn's hands from her sides. How had Ben known that she was being touched, from a man none the less. He had never been able to see her surrounding before. What had changed?

"I thought I saw a snake," Rey lied to Finn, looking everywhere except at Kylo's mask.

Ben seemed to feel how uncomfortable she was with the helmet and he immediately pressed the button to disengage it from his head.

Hearing the releasing sound of the mask, she was finally able to met his eyes and it was soul moving.

"Jakku to Rey," Finn waved his hand in front of Rey's face. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," Rey started. "Just been a little confused with all of this Force stuff without a teacher."

"I'm sorry about what happened to Skywalker. Don't know if I ever told ya."

Rey forced a smile. "Thanks, Finn." Her eyes quickly shifted back to Ben. "Do you mind if I go on alone? I think I need some time today."

Finn shifted. He was concerned for her. She had been spending a lot of time alone and he worried for her mental state. "Sure. I should probably go sit with Rose anyway."

Mentally curing herself, Rey felt horrible. She hated that while she had been so preoccupied and nervous about the bond with Ben, she had forgotten that Rose was still laid up in the med bay.

"Are you alone?" Ben asked after another moment of silence.

"Apart from you," Rey breathed. "Yes."

They stood before each other, maybe a foot or two apart. Rey slightly craned her neck to meet his eyes, Ben's hair fell around his face.

"How did you know Finn was touching me?"

Ben's jaw tightened. "I could see his hands on you."

Rey worried her lip, "I thought we couldn't see each other's surroundings."

"I could only see up to his forearms. It was as if he was reaching through a waterfall. He disappeared once he released you."

"Oh," Rey said simply, not quite knowing what a waterfall looked like.

"I want to try something," Ben said, tucking his helmet under his arm and then removing his gloves.

Rey thought that he would try to touch her again, that he wanted to share another memory. She almost buzzed with anticipation. But instead he just palmed the helmet and held it between them.

When Rey saw him release the helmet, she jumped back on instinct for it looked as if it would smash into her feet. But as soon as the helmet left his fingers it vanished. Ben watched it fall to the floor with a metallic thunk.

"So we can only see people or items that we are physically touching." Rey mused.

"Or touching you," Ben gritted out, still not pleased that FN had his hands all over Rey.

"I should be able to see when someone touches you also," Rey was not sure if it was a statement or a question.

Ben looked almost pained, "No one ever touches me." He bent to his knee to retrieve his helmet from the floor.

Rey was very aware of how the lack of human interaction and even physical contact had taken it's toll on Ben. How each day feeling unworthy and suffering in solitude had eaten at him. Knelling before her, she reached out a hand, gently stroking the right side of his face.

Her thumb grazed his scarred skin and his deep eyes shot to hers. He had initially knelt down to pick up his helmet to see if she could interact with items in his environment, but now all he could focus on was the burn that her touch left in it's wake.

He started to slowly stand. Ben was treating her like a easily frightened animal. He didn't want to move too fast and scare her from this moment. Half way to standing, Ben reached up and placed his hand over hers before nuzzling his cheek into her palm.

The smell of her skin was intoxicating, like earth, engine grease, and pine. He turned his face and his nose grazed her thumb before his lips came in contact with her palm.

Their gaze met. They were frozen in time. The worlds around them fell away.

Rey felt the pressure on the back of her hand as he held it in place. His warm lips pressed up as well. Electricity ran up her arm. The warmth from the simple kiss shot from her palm up to her cheeks as they reddened with blood flow.

"Ben," she breathed.

But he was already gone.

Her arm lingered in the air for just a moment, still feeling the warmth of his skin, their touch, his gesture of affection.

Then the anger set in. Madness flowed through her. Anger at Ben for making her feel this way. Anger at her self for wanting more of him and later anger at turning down his hand in the first place. Anger at the Force for connecting them like that, then ripping him away. And lastly, anger at Luke for not preparing her for any of this.

She screamed. A gut wrenching scream. She didn't know how long she could do this. Each time he was taken from her, it hurt, as if a piece of her was being removed.

Rey wondered, as she sank to the forest floor, if this connection was just as painful for him.

* * *

Ben cursed the Force. He cursed the First Order. He cursed himself.

What would his life been like if he had just left Starkiller Base with his father? He would have gone back to his mother, to the Resistance, where Rey would have been. Could he have forgiven Skywalker? Could he have learned to let in the Light and aid his mother's cause in destroying the First Order?

He kicked his helmet across the room, watching it ricochet off the far wall. He was resolved that he would have been what Rey needed, if he could only go back.

Ben lifted his bare fingers to his lips and traced them absentmindedly. The intimacy of their contact was unlike anything he had ever experienced.

There had been other woman, trysts after battles with the Knights, but there was never anything that drove his body and mind as mad as a simple touch from Rey. He wished that he could be pure for her. Even though his Sith training had caused him to withdraw from ordinary interactions with the opposite sex, his almost thirty years of life had produced more than a few meaningless romps.

If he was going to be what Rey needed, if he was going to turn around the First Order, he would need to speed up his plans. He was not sure he could wait years…months…weeks for the current command to fall.

He called to his new Captain over his personal comm unit. It was time to test her loyalty and set forth the elimination of the First Order.

* * *

Leia sat in her little Wookiee hut, far above the forest floor. She not only felt the pain still radiating from her stomach, but she felt a pain in the Force. With the intensity of it, she knew that it had to come from Rey. She was unsure what to do for the girl. It was apparent that the Force was extremely strong within her, but without a teacher, a Master to show her the way, she felt that Rey would soon implode.

She had not trained enough in the Force to offer any help. She had opted to make a difference through government, politics, and later military leadership. Leia wished that Luke was here. He would know what to do. She attempted to reach out to him through the Force, but her body was too exhausted.

Their time on Kashyyyk was also running short. They were nearing the state of out staying their welcome. With two members of their crew still needing medical attention, Leia just prayed that the First Order has not picked up their trail.

When she retired to her bed, the sun was still high in the sky. She would not worry anyone with the aches and pains of aging. Her people had bigger concerns.

* * *

Kylo Ren met with TN 1002 in his office overlooking the armory. He sat in the same low leather chair in which he had interviewed the trooper. "How are you finding your new position?" He asked through the vocalizer of his mask.

TN shifted, "I think some of the other Lieutenants are questioning your selection."

"I see." He lounged back in his chair, putting off an aloof attitude that he hoped showed that he could care less what the other Lieutenants thought. "Do you question it?" He reached out to her mind at this moment.

Her body stiffened, "There is no need for that sir, I will be honest with you."

Ren was again surprised by her candor and her mind showed that she had no intent of deceit.

"I do not yet understand why you picked me over other Lieutenants. Phasma is such a strong leader to live up to and I never thought that I was one for the task."

Reaching out into her mind again, he wasn't searching for honesty, he was looking for trust. He knew that he could easily wipe her memory if he needed to, but he also wished for it to not come to that.

Finding the answers that he sought, he sat forward and disengaged his mask. TN was the first trooper to see him without his helmet since Crait, but the plan that he would be revealing to her was not for Kylo Ren to disclose. This plan belonged to Ben Solo entirely.

The helmet made a hollow but heavy sound when he set it upon a black and chrome table that was nestled between the chairs.

TN was thankful for her helmet as it hid the dazed expression on her face. The man who sat before her, Kylo Ren, was nothing like she had imagined. His face was slender and pale. A large scar ran down the entirety of the right side of his face, disappearing under his tunic. His eyes were dark and callous, but there was a hint of something that she was sure not many had the opportunity to see; hope.

"Please," Ren said gesturing to her helmet.

It was usually forbidden for troopers to be out of uniform during duty hours but her Supreme Leader had requested. The helmet slid off her head easily, having far less mechanics as Kylo Ren's.

The trooper's skin was the color of naturally tanned leather, with pale violet eyes, and deep scarlet hair. Ren would have found her beautiful if in another time and place.

They took a moment appraising one another. Kylo entered her mind once more, but exited quickly having seen her thoughts on his own attractiveness. She coughed in embarrassment.

Kylo also cleared his throat. "I want to make some changes to the trooper training and I have taken into consideration your thoughts on profiling and I believe it has merit."

"You do?" TN questioned in shock. Any time she had taken her suggestions to command they had laughed at her and sent her on her way.

"Yes. I want to build an army that will feel an unwavering loyalty to me."

"For your new vision of the Order?"

"You are a quick learner."

"So what is the first step?"

"I want you to pull records on all troopers who have been sent through reconditioning. I want to know if there are other free thinkers like you within the ranks." Kylo didn't want to confess the entire plan just yet.

"I should have those to you within a few days."

Kylo was thoughtful for a moment.

"Is there something else sir?"

"I want you to hand select my new guard unit."

"Is there something wrong with the current Alpha team?"

"I have seen their minds, they are all spies for Hux. I need troopers that I can trust, that you can trust." He thought about Snoke's guards that he has cut down, fighting side by side with Rey. The grace and beauty in her skills…his mind drifted but only for a second.

"Understood, sir," TN sat as if a board ran up her back, her shoulders square.

"That will be all for today," Ren said, standing and picking up TN's white helmet. He turned the piece over in his hands, "Do you find yours as much of a cage as I do?"

TN was shocked at first with his admission. She was not expecting something so personal. "Birds born in a cage think that flying is an illness, sir."

A slight smile played at Ren's lips and he handed TN her helmet. The trooper met his eyes for just a moment before taking the helmet from his hands and encasing her head once more with the mask that concealed her true intentions.

Once TN was out of the room and the pneumatic door was closed behind her, Ben was finally able to fall back in to his chair. He threw his head back, looking at the dark ceiling and let out a large sigh.

Rey stood in the shadows of the room, the bond had just snapped her here. She had seen Ben and a female trooper exchange a smile and a glance that she would call longing and it gutted her.

She had felt jealousy before, on Jakku when someone would get more portions than her, or when Plutt would show favor to one of the other scavengers, but she had never felt it like this. She wanted to run at the trooper, hold her down with the Force, and scream at her that Ben was _hers_.

A scoff escaped her lips, mostly at the ridiculousness of her reaction to seeing Ben with another woman. The sound brought Ben's attention to the dark side of his office.

"Rey?" He was surprised that he had not sensed her enter the bond.

She stayed quite and steadfast in her hiding place.

Ben stood and crossed the room, "You know I can see you, right?"

That damned smirk was back. Rey narrowed her eyes at him. How dare he be so glib after she had just witnessed him making eyes at another. "I can see that you are _busy_ , so I will just keep out of your way."

Ben looked back a the two chairs across the room. "What did you see?" He wasn't sure how long she had been in the bond, or how much she had heard of the plan. It wasn't that he was hiding his plan from her but for now he just wanted to keep it to himself.

"Do you often have private meetings with beautiful women?" Rey wished she could take back the words as soon as they left her mouth. They sounded petty and more so they held a tone that hinted at her feelings of possession over him.

"You saw her?" Ben was confused, he had not touched her.

Rey didn't answer, just stood with her arms crossed over her chest. It appeared to be a defensive position, but really she was trying to keep the pain of her heart at bay.

Ben looked away from her, lost in thought. "The helmet," he mused. "I handed her the helmet and you must have seen the connection…even though there was not skin to skin contact."

Rey scoffed again and rolled her eyes. "I saw the connection alright. And it's none of my business who you have _skin to skin_ contact with."

Confusion, realization, then smugness washed over his face. "Are you jealous?"

"No!" Rey shot back like a defiant teenager.

"Yes you are," he stalked closer to her.

"I don't care what you do or who you do it with, Ben Solo." She refused to meet his eyes because then he would know that she was utterly lying.

"You don't mean that." Ben slid off his gloves and then placed his hands gently on either side of her face and tilted it up. His statement was confirmed when her gaze snapped to his.

She was lost in his brown eyes and the small smile on his face made something deep in the pit of her stomach flutter.

"That was TN 1002. She is my new Captain and is helping me prepare for a revolution."

"Captain?"

"Yes. To replace Phamsa."

"Revolution?" Rey had been reduced to one word questions.

Ben stroked his thumb over her soft cheek. "Even though I was not able to convince you before, I hope to build a government that one day you will join me in leading."

"Oh," Rey wanted to lower her eyes in embarrassment, but she couldn't tear her gaze from his beautifully handsome face.

"So nothing to be jealous of…"

"I wasn't!" Rey still protested, but her voice was now soft, only needing to span the few inches that separated them.

Ben studied her face. Her brows were knitted together in thought. How he wished she would open her mind to him. He had been certain that his intentions towards her were clear, but the fact that she doubted his faithfulness to her made him think that he still had a long road ahead.

"You do know that it is only ever going to be you." Ben confessed.

"Me?" Rey still felt in a daze and didn't think that she could possibly string together coherent thoughts.

"Yes Rey. Only you." The corner of his mouth pulled up again.

The boyish smile transfixed her. She would have done anything he asked in this moment. She would steal the Falcon and come to where he was. She would fright through hordes of trooper to get to him. She would bring down the First Order single handedly and stand by his side for the rest of eternity. If only he would ask her to.

Their eyes scanned over each other's faces. Rey found herself looking at his soft pink and full lips. She wondered what it would be like to be kissed by those lips. She remembered how tender they had felt against her palm. She wondered if he wanted to kiss her. Did she want to be kissed? Her mind swam.

Ben watched a million questions wash over her face. He saw her roaming stare move to the lower half of his face and he felt his breathing slow, but his heart raced at the same time. He was so close, all he would have to do is lean into her and…

The thought of laying his lips upon Rey's made his body respond. He became warm all over and the confines of his thick black clothing seemed to be suffocating.

Their eyes met again. Each noted the dilated pupils of the other.

He stroked her cheek once more. "Rey," he whispered.

"Ben," she breathed.

* * *

 **::Hides behind something for the cliff hanger::**

 **AN: I hope you enjoyed the latest chapter. Leave me some love, it helps to spark the fire and pump out more chapters. I think we will be going back in to the dream world again soon. ;)**

 **The bird quote is from Alejandro Jodorowsky.**


	5. Five

**Five**

Rey felt the warmth of his breath ghost across her face and her eyelids fell closed. Her heart seemed to stop beating but her mind raced. Did she want this? She knew that once he kissed her that there was no turning back. She would be his and he, hers.

After just another moment, she squinted open one eye to find herself completely alone in her hut.

A groan escaped her lips and she stomped her foot like an angry child.

She could feel the heat from his hands still on her face and she could smell him in the air. Her insides were wound so tight that she burned for relief.

The Force was teasing her and she was not pleased.

Rey fell back on her bed and ran her hands through her hair, slightly pulling at the roots out of frustration. Her body felt warmer than usual. A pooling sensation between her thighs was new, something never felt with any other life-form interactions.

Releasing another long sigh, she extinguished the lantern at her bedside and forcefully covered herself with the roughly woven blanket.

Her dreams ran wild with him. Not in their dream world, but fantasies of her own making.

* * *

Ben has kept his eyes open when leaning down to kiss her. He had wanted to see her at the exact moment of their connection. So he was very aware when the bond pulled her away just as their lips were about to meet.

Having no energy to lash out in anger, he just lowered his head, his hands became slack at his sides without Rey to hold on to. He could weep, if he weren't a stronger man.

"If your plan is to make us both explode before we can even fix this damned galaxy, then you are doing a splendid job!" His voice held a tone of snark and desperation as he cursed out to the Force.

It would be another cold shower for him in the fresher. He pulled at his clothing, still feeling confined within the layers. He thought of himself and Rey in more traditional clothing for those of royal blood.

Remembering pictures of his grandmother and seeing his mother dress for formal events brought a slight smile to his face. He imagined Rey wrapped in the finest silks from Naboo, her head adorned with ribbons of silver and gold.

These thought were doing nothing to settle the situation in his trousers and he ran his hands through his matted hair before heading to the fresher.

* * *

Days passed and Rey was almost thankful for the distance, as it allowed her body to calm. If she had seen Ben shortly after their last interaction she was not sure she could be held accountable for her actions.

She found herself in the med bay, wanting to show support from her friends who have been laid up since departing Crait. Rose was sitting up in her cot and laughing at something Finn had just said.

"Rey!" Rose exclaimed, having seen her friend enter the room.

Finn turned his head and appraised her with a sorrowful expression. He knew that Rey had lost friends on Crait and that she was struggling with attuning to the Force, but as of late she always looked tired and just on the edge of breaking.

"Hey Rose," Rey offered back, moving to the side of the cot that Finn was not occupying. "How are you feeling?"

"Almost as good as new." Rose's face was bright as she looked at Finn. "If it wasn't for this guy over here, I'm not sure I would have made it."

If Finn's complexion was paler the women may have noticed the blush rise to his cheeks. "You were a strong and stubborn woman before I ever came along."

Rose landed a light and playful backhanded slap to his chest and laughed while asking, "How did you put up with him Rey?"

"Well most of the time we were running for our lives, but he was a chore at times."

Finn looked hurt before he saw the warm smile spread across Rey's face. He has not seen that smile in weeks. She had been walking around with her eyes down and her brow furrowed. "You wound me, Rey," Finn held his hand over his heart in mock distress.

Both girls laughed and then Rose gave him a knowing look. "Well I will let you two catch up." Finn leaded down and placed a simple kiss on Rose's forehead.

They watched Finn exit the med bay, but the longing look in Rey's eyes was not missed by Rose. "Are you okay with us?"

"Of course, me and you are good friends." Rey reassured, but was also confused why Rose would think that there was strive between them.

Rose smiled, "No, are you okay with Finn and I?"

"Oh," Rey said thoughtfully.

"It's just that you looked really uncomfortable with that little display of affection." Rose was never one to beat around the bush and usually said what she was thinking regardless of how it might be taken.

Rey thought over the relationship between Rose and Finn. It wasn't that she had those type of feelings for Finn. She loved Finn in a friendly type of way, but there was a part of her deep down that was jealous. It may have been because how close, yet far Rey felt from Ben. Or the fact that Finn and Rose could easily display their relationship.

Kylo Ren would never be accepted by the Resistance. Even if she could convince everyone that he had truly changed, he would never be trusted. She may even be branded a traitor for their love affair.

 _Love._ Rey thought to herself. Such a strange emotion. How could it hurt but also feel so good at the same time?

Rey came out of her thoughts and focused back on Rose who was still waiting for a reply. "It's fine. I can see that you both make each other very happy. Finn is a good friend and I am glad that he has you." _Because I won't be around forever,_ she relayed internally.

The two girls talked for some time. Rose had many questions about the legendary Luke Skywalker and the Jedi Order. A place in Rey's chest ached when talking about Luke. He had not been the best teacher, but in the end, he had done what was right.

When the topic changed to Rey's experience on the Supremacy with Snoke, Rey tensed. "I can't believe that Kylo Ren took you prisoner again after you were just there to try to save him from the First Order and bring him home."

Apparently the truth of what Ben had done for her was not general knowledge around the Resistance and Rey was thankful for Leia's confidence.

"Yes, he surely left his mark," Rey said hoping to end this line of questioning.

It was nearing dusk and Finn walked back in with a tray of food. "Supper time. I hope you like roasted arrawtha-dyr."

Rey reached over and gave Rose a friendly hug. "Give him hell," she whispered with a smile.

"Wouldn't have it any other way," Rose called back as Finn approached the bed.

Moving up a few levels Rey walked in to the cafeteria and decided to quickly make herself a plate and then move to the higher levels and enjoy the sunset.

Leia sat with Poe and they appeared to be in a heated conversation. Rey took a careful look at the General and saw her face a bit more hallowed and her skin holding a more gray tone. She wondered if the planet was not agreeing with her, but remembered that Leia had gone all over the galaxy both in government and also with the Resistance with no prior issues.

She made note to herself to seek a private audience with Leia over the next few days to check on the woman who she has fondly come to think of as a motherly figure.

Rey was thankful that she was able to gather her food and exit the hut without any interruptions. The sunset that night was spectacular as were all of the sunsets on Kashyyyk.

Night came and she once more was pouring over the ancient Jedi scripts. She was in the middle of reading about how to maintain balance in the Force when sleep took her.

* * *

Kylo Ren stalked the corridors of the Finalizer on his way to another odious meeting. Hux was attempting to keep Ren from being underfoot by demanding that he attend meetings with other First Order officers. The topics that were discussed were always a bore, but it kept him informed of the interworking of the galactic powerhouse.

His cowl flowed elegantly behind him. The newly selected guard unit trailed behind TN 1002 who paced Kylo's left flank. Ren had requested his Captain attend the meetings as well since she had more of a mind for the military operations.

Another generic black conference room awaited him. A large black leather chair at the head of the table was always present. He let out a bored sigh as they stood in front of the double doors to the meeting room.

TN stepped around him and if not for her helmet all would see the smirk on her face. Ren and TN had talked about him being able to always have access to her mind, so she could silently communicate with him. He felt her amusement at his discomfort.

"Let's get this over with." Ren waved his hand and the door opened with the use of the Force.

TN entered the room first. "The Supreme Leader," she announced.

The ten or so other men sitting in the room stood, bowing their heads as Kylo Ren swept in and paraded to the front of the room. He sat in the large chair that almost seemed to swallow him.

The others sat after Ren, TN taking the chair to his left. Kylo again waved his hand, leaning back in the chair with a posture of indifference, "Proceed."

One of the Dreadnought Captains stood and started to give his presentation on repairing and improving their weapon systems.

Ren laid his heavy helmet in one of his gloved hands, propping his elbow on the padded arm of the chair.

He drifted.

Birds chirped over head and a breeze blew past him. He was in their dream world. He ran from the forest towards the field with excitement.

He heard her voice before he saw her. Breaking the tree line he was met with the warmth from the sun and her smile.

A cry rang out and Ren's attention was brought down to two small faces that were cowering behind Rey.

"Don't be afraid. He is a friend of mine." Rey laid reassuring hands on each child's shoulder.

Little Ben was the first to emerge from behind Rey's hip. His face held an expression of false bravery. "You have been here before," Little Ben said with a hint of a question.

"Yes I have," Ren answered, taking a few small steps towards his younger self.

"You scared Kira last time. That was not kind."

A musical laugh came from Rey as she found the humor in Little Ben scolding the feared Kylo Ren.

"Why do you wear a mask?" Ben asked.

"All knights wear helmets." Ren answered.

"Who is that?" Came the small female voice of the young girl.

Rey knelt down to be on the girl's level, "His name is Be…Ren and he is a very good friend of mine."

 _Friend._ Ren rolled the word around in his mind a few time, thinking that the title held no significants to what they truly had.

As the young boy continued to study the black clad man, Ren reached up and disengaged his helmet. Little Ben's eyes lit up with curiosity. "Would you like to see it?"

Little Ben nodded his head swiftly and Ren placed the helmet in the boy's hands. The weight of it threw Ben off balance for a moment.

Ben ran over to the girl, both of them looking at the inner mechanics of the helmet.

Ren took this moment to look up at his Rey and their gaze met. A small smile crossed her lips and he moved through the calf-high grass toward her, removing his gloves as he went. He stopped within feet of her, an awkward energy between them from their last interaction.

"Hi," he said gawkily.

"Hello," she said in return, crossing her right arm over her chest and gripping her left upper arm in a strange pose of uncomfortableness.

It wasn't that she expected them to pick up where they had left off, their moments of intimacy usually happened spontaneously, but she felt that if she did not physically hold herself at bay, that she would leap into his arms.

Ren reached up and unclasped his cloak and let it fall to the ground, feeling hot in the Tralus sun.

"Whoa! You have a lightsaber?" Little Ben all but forgotten the helmet in Kira's little hands. "Are you a Jedi?"

This question held some pain and he looked down upon his younger self. "I am no Jedi."

Little Ben's face became concerned, "Then you are a Sith."

"I used to be," Ren said, chancing a look towards Rey, the entire reason for his redemption.

"My grandfather was a Sith. Darth Vader," Ben's voice was small and he looked down almost in shame of having such a dark mark on the family.

"I know," was all Ren could replay.

Being ever resilient, Ben's focus shifted back to the saber. "Can I see it," he pointed to the T-shaped handle hanging from Ren's belt.

"I don't think that is a good idea…" Rey started.

"It's okay," Ren reassured her and he knelt down to be more at the level of the boy. He showed off and used the Force to call the lightsaber from his belt to his hand.

"Whoa!" Both children looked on in awe.

"I made this myself when I was a younger man," he turned the metal hilt over in his hands to show off all of the details. Ren shifted, sitting back on to his heel before igniting the blade.

Little Ben stepped back in fear, "Why does it look like that?"

The red blade of the saber was irregular and it made hissing and popping sounds.

"The kyber crystal that powers this lightsaber is damaged. There is a crack that runs through the heart of it, making it unbalanced and unstable." Ren looked at Rey as he spoke.

Rey understood that he was speaking more of his own heart and mind rather than the rare crystal embedded in his saber.

"Can it be fixed?" The girl asked.

Little Rey…Kira as she was called in this world, always looking to the Light, looking to mend those who are broken. "Perhaps one day, with great power from the Light Side of the Force." Ren mused.

Rey touched both children on the shoulders, "Why don't you two go run off and play so I can catch up with Ren."

Little Ben reached up and placed his hands on either side of her face, she needed to stoop some for him to reach, "If he upsets you again, tell me and I will take care of him."

Ren snorted out a laugh and Rey kept her face very serious but a kind smile bloomed across her lips, "Thank you, Ben." She bent further and placed a soft kiss upon the boy's forehead.

After their exchange, Ben released Rey and ran off after the girl who had already collect two sticks from the woods and was yelling at her playmate that they were both Jedi Masters battling the Empire.

Rey and Ren watched them silently for a moment before she started to move towards a few stray boulders at the far end of the field.

Ren followed and sat next to Rey on the hard but smooth surface. "Is it strange to be jealous of myself?" He questioned playfully.

"How so?" Rey asked in the same light tone.

"He just got a kiss from my girl."

Rey's cheeks flushed. His simple sentence held so much meaning and also opened so many more questions.

The fact that he was jealous of the simple kiss meant that maybe he had intended to kiss her during their last Force bond interaction. He has also called her _his girl_. Months ago she would have been insulted by the term of possessiveness, but now she felt it comforting, as if she finally _belonged_. She looked down at her hands in reflection.

Ren thought by her lack of reply that he had caused her some offense. "I'm sorry if what I said…"

"No, it's not that." Rey felt bad for making him think that his words caused her discomfort.

"Then, what is wrong?"

Rey's eyes moved up to watch the children play. They were so carefree. Kira had never known what it was to be hungry, not only in the more literal sense, but also eager for love, acceptance, and family. Little Ben didn't have the weight of the Darkness or Snoke's venom flowing through his soul yet. They were both so bathed in Light that it was almost blinding to watch.

"I don't know what this is…"

Ren thought a moment. "This dream world is beyond what I have read about Force bonds, so I too am not sure why we are brought together like this."

Rey exhaled almost in annoyance, mostly with herself for not being able to verbally express what she was thinking and feeling. She turned, bending her right knee and bringing her leg up on to the rock to face him.

"I don't mean the Force bond or this dream world. I mean this!" She reached over and laced both of her hands in his, holding them out between their chests.

The energy that flowed through the bond created an aura around them. His Darkness met her Light and they seemed to shine like celestial beings.

"Do you feel it?" Rey desperately questioned.

"How could I not?" Ren replied. "I have never felt so wanted…normal…balanced."

"We are more alike than anyone could have ever thought." Rey breathed out.

They were lost to each other again. Their bond flowing freely between them.

Rey felt a wave of something crash over her. It was similar to the feelings that she held towards Finn or Leia, but more intense, more wanting. _Love_ , she wondered.

Ren's expression changed from focused and relaxed to fearful and he broke their bond by releasing her. He rubbed his hand together as if trying to provide them some comfort.

Studying his face, it showed a boy scared of being rejected. She reached out, running her fingers across his clean shaven cheek, "Don't be afraid. I feel it too."

"Ren!" Came a cry from across the field.

"Ren!" The voice changed from the shrill childlike one of Ben to a deeper more demanding one.

He was kicked under the table and his head snapped up to attention, turning his mask to the left to look at TN.

 _Captain Canady asked what you thought about the new Trooper training program._ TN's thoughts floated through the Force.

Kylo Ren adjusted his posture and then went on to engage the committee.

In the back of his mind, where Ben Solo lived when he was assuming the role of Kylo Ren, was ablaze with thought. As he had joined with Rey, his heart had expanded and the gut clenching feeling of love had flowed through him. She had felt it, she had accepted it, she had sent it back to him within the bond.

It had burn so white hot through his body that he had to break the connection. He was also embarrassed for her to know, even though he was unsure why. She had rejected him once before, he didn't think he could survive it again.

But she had reached out to him, saying his words back to him. Words that at the time had been part of his interrogation, part of his scare tactics, a way for him to attempt to reassure her that he too felt as she did. Now those words held a new, hopeful, and beautiful meaning.

 _I feel it too_ , rang through his mind and he smiled to himself, behind the mask, like the love sick welp that he was.

* * *

 **AN: I decided to not document for work tonight and am so thankful that I did. This chapter had been flowing through my mind all day today, and if I didn't get it down, I don't think it would have turned out just how I wanted it.**

 **I hope that you are enjoying this story as much as I enjoy writing it.**

 **Leave me some feedback and some love. It really does fuel my fire to write more.**


	6. Six

**Six**

Kylo Ren was again in a nondescript conference room. A datapad was set on the table in front of him as he flipped through the profile sheets of all of the troopers sent to reconditioning in the last cycle.

There was a knock at the door and he looked up. "Enter," his unaltered voice sounded as his mask sat on the black glossy table surface.

TN walked through the door, "Sir, I have brought some one to see you."

He reached for his helmet and TN's voice sounded in his mind, _There is no need for that._

Ren trusted her judgement and left his head bare. He was slightly surprised to see Captain Canady walk into the room behind TN.

"Captain," Kylo Ren addressed the officer formally.

"Supreme Leader," Canady answered, bowing his head.

"Please," Ren gestured. "Sit."

Captain Canady took a seat to his master's right as TN sat to Ren's left.

There was tension in the room, each party unsure if they could truly trust the other. Ren was but one man, with a small group of troopers loyal to him, but he still was no match for the entire might of the First Order under Hux's command. If his plan for a revolution was found out, it would only be by luck that he would get away with his head still attached to his shoulders.

TN was the first to speak, "After serving with Captain Canady on the Fulminatrix…"

Kylo reached into her mind, seeing from her stand point what kind of commander Canady had been. He saw the chaos on the ship just before the bombing runs above D'Qar. He saw how Canady had disapproved of Hux, almost thirty years his junior, giving out rash and arrogant orders to the fleet.

He also saw how TN had swept Canady into an escape pod after a bomb had gone off in the command bridge. The elder Captain showed signs of injury as a black glove covered a robotic right hand.

Ren's thoughts raced back to his grandfather, more machine than man. His uncle had also been coupled to a robotic appendage. Both men were now one with the Force and Ren believed that they were once again whole.

"I assume you have found in her mind what you seek?" Canady broke the silence.

TN had become more accustom to Ren reaching into her mind, but it still stung and her balled fists relaxed once he had retracted.

"He can be trusted, sir." TN reassured.

"I'm sure he is well aware of the consequences for all of us if we are found out," Ren countered. "I saw in TN's memories your displeasure with Hux's command."

"That is putting it lightly," Canady quipped.

Ren tilted his head waiting for the Captain to expand on that thought.

"Hux is arrogant, riding off the successes of his father. It takes more than good breeding to be a leader."

"And my _breeding?_ " Kylo sneered attempting to stop himself from reaching out with the Force and closing off the Captain's airway.

Carady's eyes got large, almost knowing what would come next if he did not backtrack. "I didn't mean you Supreme Leader. You may have royal blood in your veins, but you have also shown yourself to accept the council of those with more of a mind for the workings of the Order."

Ren looked doubtfully at TN. _He would see Hux tried for war crimes and you named as leader of all._ Her voice rang in his mind.

He hummed out in disapproval. "What do you hope to gain out of this?"

"A place in your New Order, hopefully with a promotion and a healthy pension to retire on my home world with my family."

"How long have you been in service to the First Order?"

"Thirty-five years, sir."

Ren now reached into the Captain's mind. He saw images of a snow covered hillside with a comfortable looking brick home atop it. Smoke rose from a chimney and as he approached the home a woman with graying hair and wrinkles of worry set deep into her face stepped from the door.

"Sarah, sir. My wife." Canady grunted at he felt Ren leave his mind.

Kylo had to feel for the man. He has spent more time away from his wife through service to the Empire and the First Order than he had spend home with her. He tired to think about being away from his Rey for that length of time, it seemed unfathomable. He was ever thankful for their bond, for even if he couldn't physically be with her, he could still see her, hear her, touch her.

"Are there other Officers that share your desire for a change in regime?"

"Some of the older Captains and Commanders are of this mind set."

Ren opened the conference room door with a wave of his hand, indicating the dismissal of Canady. "Speak with only the ones you trust. Gauge their level of unrest."

"Yes sir," Canady stood and again bowed his head.

"And remember Captain," Ren placed his hand over the crown of his mask, "if you betray me, the pain you will suffer is beyond that of a thousand Resistance bombers."

The elder Captain rubbed at the phantom pain of the hand that had been melted off due to the intense heat of the explosion. He nodded and calmly walked from the room. He had been privy to some of Kylo Ren's interrogations and while he never wanted to find himself strapped to that table, he also knew that the Order needed a change and he would do anything to get back to his Sarah.

When the door closed TN removed her helmet, "You are doubtful."

"What gave you that impression?" Ren said with sarcasm.

"Do you trust me?" TN asked, her eyes almost showing hurt.

Kylo turned her question over in his mind. Trust was something that did not come easily to a Sith. The Darkness was a lonely place and one remained guarded from all others. He could hardly count on one hand the number of people he truly trusted, but it was a relief that the trooper sitting next to him was one of them.

"Oddly enough TN, I do."

TN smiled and reached out, placing her hand over his as it rested on top of the table in front of her. "I would never do anything to betray you."

Ren was puzzled. It has been decades since someone, apart from Rey, had reached out to touch him in a comforting or reassuring way. He found the interaction odd. He looked down at TN's hand resting on the back of his and he noted when her finger tips started to graze his smooth skin.

"I feel nothing," he said almost in a consoling way to himself as his gaze moved from their joined hands to her violet eyes.

The lights above the table popped and TN withdrew her hand in shock.

Rey stood at the head of the table opposite Ren, her fists clinched so hard that blood was drawn from her palms.

"You are dismissed TN," Kylo said, his eyes never leaving Rey.

"Yes sir," she whispered with just a hint of fear and embarrassment in her tone. Her helmet was replaced on her head and she hurried from the room.

Rey's gaze seemed to follow the trooper out of the room. She could no longer see the woman but she could feel the Force of a life-form passing by her.

With a sweep of his hand, Ren closed the door and activated a lock so that he would not be disturbed. He reached out through their bond and he could feel the seething rage within her. She was off putting so much Darkness that he almost staggered.

"It wasn't as it appeared…" he started.

Rey put up her hand to stop his advance both in speech and movement, but when he kept walking towards her, she pushed with the Force and he was, to his surprise, held in place.

From his stationary spot, Ben started to see the chairs in the room be pushed back against the walls. He didn't know how much power it would take for her to manipulate objects in his environment like this, but he would bet that it would drain her quickly.

Rey was straining and the shaking started in her finger tips and before long her whole body was quaking.

Ben was released when she lost consciousness. He took two big strides and caught her just before she fell to the floor. He lifted her in his arms, much like he did on Takodana. Moving back across the room, he set her down in his thrown like chair at the head of the table. He kept one hand on the chair as to keep it materialized within her environment.

An hour later and she had still not roused. He was now sitting on the floor. His back rested against the side of the chair and his head was thrown back atop the arm. He listened to her rhythmic breathing.

He finally heard her stir, a groggy moan escaped her lips. He was astonished to feel the light touch of her fingers running through his hair. "I'm sorry," he said softly, still not moving from his position on the floor.

"I know." Rey said simply.

They sat like that for a long while. Ben wanted desperately to look at her and return her touch, but this is what they needed.

Finally Rey spoke again, "I could sense what she was feeling towards you."

"I felt nothing," Ben repeated the words from before.

"I know."

Rey then curled up further in the large seat and rested her head next to his on the arm of the chair. Her fingers were still tanged in his hair, absentmindedly twirling his curls around her fingers.

They remained in quiet company until the bond pulled them apart.

* * *

Rey walked from her hut. It was early morning and the sun was still an hour from making an appearance. She made her way up to her favorite perch at the top of the tree village.

"Can't sleep either?" Came a voice from the dark corner of the hut.

It had made Rey jump in surprise, but she recognized the voice belonging to Poe. She didn't have much interaction with the pilot, but knew that Leia trusted him and that many times his dumb heroics had saved the Resistance.

"I come up here to think," Rey answered the question that hung in the cool night air.

"Credit for your thoughts?"

Rey went over to where he was sitting by an open ledge. A crudely built hand rail was all that separated them from the three hundred foot fall. She sat next to him, her feet dangling over the edge of the platform and she rested her arms on the rail at her chest.

"Have you ever wondered what the point of all of this is?"

Poe turned to her, "What do you mean?"

"I was just a nobody, minding my own business on Jakku, and now I am being called the beacon for the Resistance. But some days I feel like I would give anything to just be Rey the scavenger again."

"I used to be called the best pilot in the Resistance and now I am one of only three pilots left."

"I'm sorry that you have lost so much," Rey said truly feeling his pain.

"We knew what we were fighting for and we believed in it."

"Do you still believe?"

Poe thought for a moment. "There are still groups out there that support our cause and I have to believe that all of those people, my friends, didn't die for nothing."

Rey turned her gaze from his face that was cast in shadows back to the darkened forest canopy.

"Leia is sick isn't she?" Rey asked.

"It's not my place to tell."

"That's not a no," Rey accused.

"It's not," Poe stared off at the forest as well.

They were both quite in thought. She could not read what Poe was pondering without invading his mind, but his brows were pinched together.

Rey's thoughts on the other hand went back to her most recent bond with Ben. The new Captain…TN-something-or-another was with him, touching him, caressing him. Jealousy and rage had fueled her reaction and if she had not been so angry, she would have been shocked at the fact that she had interacted with items within Ben's world. She had made the lights blow for Maker's sake.

Beyond her expelling so much energy through the Force, Rey focused on her relationship with Ben. He had told her that no one ever touched him and she had felt pain for him but also almost felt at ease with this admission. She didn't want any one else touching him, especially in the affectionate way that she perceived the interaction between Ben and the trooper.

The only solace was that while she was able to sense the feelings of the stormtrooper towards Ben, she was also attuned to his feelings and saw they were not reciprocated. This was a stark difference from the waves of lust, desire, understanding, and _love_ that came from Ben every time they were together in the bond.

The sun started to peek above the tree line and Poe reached over and placed his hand on Rey's shoulder, "Well kid, we live to see another day."

Rey just smiled as she watched him get up from the place beside her. The smoke was starting to rise from the kitchens a few levels lower and her stomach sounded in hungry protest.

Down in the cafeteria Rey was happy to see that Rose was released form med bay and was sitting next to Finn at one of the long tables crowded with Wookiees. She ran into Poe as he carried a tray.

"Maybe you should take this." He said holding the tray out for her.

"I can make my own breakfast…" Rey answered, confused.

"This is for Leia. I think you two need to talk."

Rey nodded in understanding before grabbing the tray. She tossed a few extra pieces of fruit on as well for herself. The walk down three flight of stairs to the private quarters was tedious while balancing plates and cups filled to the brim.

The door to the General's room looked like all the others. Beautiful but simple craftsmanship from the Wookiees who built this village. Rey shifted the tray to one hand and knocked with the other.

A soft voice announced, "Come in," from the other side of the door.

Rey entered and noticed right off that Leia's room was about twice the size of hers. Also the low mat that served at her bed was replaced by a hand crafted wooden bed. "I brought you something to eat," Rey said as she moved towards the bed where Leia had propped herself up on plush looking pillows.

"Poe's idea I'm sure." Leia said with a sigh but a smile.

"He's worried about you," Rey said, setting the tray of food down on a table next to the bed.

Leia stiffened. "Did he say something to you?"

"No," Rey defended. "I could sense it though."

"Damn the Force some times," Leia quipped with humor.

The women were quite for a while. Leia picked at her food but mostly just pushed it around her plate. Rey took small bites out of her almakian apple, the sweet taste so different from rehydrated rations.

"So how sick are you?" Rey broke the silence.

Leia huffed, "I knew I couldn't trust that flyboy."

"He truly did not tell me anything. But Leia…uh General…" Rey stuttered.

"You may call me Leia."

"Leia," Reys mind drifted for a moment to the dream world where the frail looking woman before her had been a strong beautiful woman in her twenties. A woman who little Kira had called Mama. "I've noticed your clothes are hanging from you and your color is not quite right. "

"I guess it is hard to hide it in such late stages."

"What is it?" Rey questioned.

"Cancer." Leia said with false strength.

"Can't bacta be used?" Rey asked seeing the devastation on Leia's face.

"I'm afraid not."

Rey was at a loss. "But how could this happen?"

"Lohgarra believes it was when I was thrown into space from the bridge of the Raddus above Crait."

Rey had known that only certain life forms could exist in the vacuum of space and that there were high levels of radiation from exploding stars and the many warheads fired off during the battle with the First Order.

"Are you not going to fight this?" Rey was in tears now.

Leia reached out a hand and cupped the girl's cheek. Rey thought that it was a very Ben like action and was painfully reminded again that Leia is Ben's mother.

"I have lived a good life and I have fought for the rights of the people of this galaxy. I have no family left and it is time for me to rest."

The part of having no family cut Rey to the core, "What about Ben?"

"I don't know who that is anymore." Leia's eyes were empty when she spoke the words.

Rey's heart broke. If the sickly woman before her only knew the truth…but Rey did not offer any rebuttal or reassurance that Ben was beautifully alive and well.

"What can I do?" Rey felt hopeless.

"Lead the people," Leia started to cough and Rey sat her up to take a sip of a thick purple drink. Before speaking again, Leia made sure to look Rey directly in the eyes so she was sure her message would be delivered. "Lead the people, in what ever way _your_ heart tells you to."

Taken back, Rey believed that Leia had just given Rey her blessing to lead with Ben. They had talked about the offer on the Supremacy, how Ben had asked her to rule with him. If Rey was going to take direction from her heart then it would always lead back to Ben.

"And promise me one other thing."

"Anything," Rey answered.

"When the time come," tears welled in the older woman's eyes but they would not fall. "Take me home."

Rey just nodded. She had no idea where Leia would consider _home_ but she also knew exactly who to ask.

She picked up the mostly still full tray and left her General to rest.

Retreating back to her room she noted the bright sun beaming through her window. She knew that when it was day for her, it was night for Ben. Having not slept well the night prior, Rey crawled into her bed and slipped into something between meditation and sleep.

The dream world was beautiful when she entered. She searched the field looking for him and found that he was over by the little home copping wood. Unlike last time, he was only clad in light linen pants that were rolled partway up his calves. His back was bare and it appeared that he had been out in the sun for a while as his pale skin took on a pink hue.

She moved around the log home and stood at the northeast corner for just a moment longer, enjoying the view as his muscles flexed and he swung the ax down on the log with an ear piercing crack.

He noticed movement and looked up to see her. He wiped some sweat from his brow and smiled at her. Throwing the ax down, it stuck, blade first into the cutting stump. "Hello Rey."

"Ben," she said sweetly as she stepped out of the shade of the home and came towards him. He was cleaning his hands off with his discarded gray tunic. This was the first time she had seen him in clothing that wasn't black.

His half nakedness still distracted her but she found it less unnerving and more of a desired way for him to appear to her in this world. In the sun overhead, she could clearly see the scar that ran down to the right side of his chest. She wasn't sure why she was always drawn to it, but she stretched her hand out and touched where it faded into his unmarred skin.

He enjoyed that she felt comfortable making contact with him without hesitation or without having to ask permission. She would always be welcome to have her hands on any part of him. Ben's mind wondered.

"This will always be a reminder of how I hated and feared you," Rey said now tracing the scar up his neck.

Gooseflesh broke out under her touch. "It has a very different meaning for me."

"How so?"

"It was the moment that I knew…"

"Knew what?"

"You will make me say it?"

"Only if you want to…"

A crack of lightening broke them from their enchantment of each other. While making the exchange they had leaned into the other's space, gaze locked, breath and hearts in sync.

Rain started to fall and Rey tilted her head up, still amazed by the phenomenon of so much water just falling from the sky.

"Let's get inside before you are soaked!" Ben called over the rain that was now belting down.

They ran for the door and found the little log home dry and warm. Ben moved to a chair by the fire place and grabbed a woolen blanket, coming back to Rey and wrapping it around her shoulders. "Is that better?" As he spoke her teeth started to chatter.

The shock of the rain and the cold that ran through her brought back the main reason that she had entered the dream world looking for him.

"Ben," she said in a serious tone.

He had moved back to the fire and was adding logs. "Come by the fire and get warm," he insisted.

"Ben look at me," Rey tried again. The lump had now risen in her throat and tears were already spilling from her hazel eyes.

He was over to her in a moment, cupping her face and wiping her tears, "What's wrong?"

"It's Leia….it's your mother."

* * *

 **AN: I would love to hear your thoughts! Your reviews and the notifications of y'all following the story is really what has helped me pumped out two chapters so quickly.**

 **Thank you for reading and love ya!**


	7. Seven

**Seven**

Lightening cracked again outside of the home making Rey jump. The interior was now plunged into darkness, the power cells having gone out during the storm. The only light was from the flickering fireplace, causing red and orange hues to flare across his face.

"What about my mother?" Ben asked.

Rey was crying so he knew that it had to be something grim. While he had previously disowned his family, going as far as killing his own father to sever their ties, but since the Light had been seeping back into his soul, he found that his heart ached for his mother.

Growing up, Leia had been loving but distant towards her son. Both her and Han hadn't quite understood the intense flow of Force that was running through him. Being a Princess and also a diplomate, Leia had spent more time away than she did at their home estate.

When they had sent Ben away to the academy with Luke, he had felt abandoned, unwanted, and more of a burden or shame to the family. He was never favorable at the government events he was forced to attend, always a little to awkward and introverted. When he was in his teens, his mother started to leave him behind when she had obligations to the Senate.

But now, standing in the dream world with Rey, he felt a desperate need for his mother. "Rey, what is wrong with her?" He asked again, reaching out placing his hands on her shoulders and giving her a gentle shake.

"She's dying Ben." Rey sniffled out.

"Dying?" He repeated.

Rey nodded her head, "Lohgarra thinks that it was the radiation from when she was blown from the Raddus."

The Raddus. Ben had lead the attack on the Resistance flagship. He had fired the shots that disabled their hangar, but he was unable to sent forth the blasts at the bridge. He had felt his mother there, he had placed his finger over the trigger on the right control stick, but was unable to finalize the deed.

His two wingmen had directed the blasts. He had pulled up just before smashing his own craft into the fireball that came from the place that his mother had just been standing. He had thought her lost, surmising that no one could survive such an attack, but her Force signature had remained ever present with him.

Beyond focusing on the events that lead up to the cause of his mother's illness, he found the name Rey had used to be familiar and he racked his mind to make the connection.

He was brought back to when he was maybe seven or eight. His mother and father had gone away on government business leaving him with Chewie. After about a week of being in the estate, Ben was growing bored and Chewie had suggested a short trip to his home world, where Ben had met a gleaming white Wookiee named Lohgarra.

"You are on Kashyyyk," he stated as he connected each part of the story.

Rey's eyes were large with shock and fear. While she has savored their time together in the bond and also in this dream world, it was a completely different feeling to have him know where she was, where the remains of the Resistance were hiding out.

"You cannot come here." She said strongly.

"Like hell I can't," Ben said back in anger.

"Think beyond yourself for a moment!" Rey pleaded. "If you come here and it is found out that the Wookiees have been harboring the Resistance, the First Order will kill them all!"

Ben wouldn't put it past Hux to have him followed and Rey was right, as always.

"She wants to go home, Ben. Where is home?" She was stuck by how much she did not know about the Solo family.

"Her home world of Alderaan was destroyed by Vader and the Death Star…" he thought. "So it must be our family estate on Naboo."

Rey had heard of Naboo but was unsure where in the galaxy it lie. "Then I will take her there."

"No!" Ben almost yelled. "You can't." Now he was almost thankful for having to sit thought the boring meetings with the other Captains and Commanders. "The First Order is expecting her to return there."

"Then where can we go? We can no longer stay with the Wookiee and risk endangering them."

He was thoughtful for a long while, pacing the small living room. "Here," he said looking at the comfortable and familiar surroundings. "Bring her here. There is nothing but vacation homes here, no population to endanger."

Rey thought it through also. He was right, this place held happy memories for the Solo family and with no other permanent residence, it was the perfect place to let Leia rest.

"Tell Chewie to take her to Tralus in the Corellian System, Sector M11."

Nodding her head still through tears, Rey came to the very quick realization that if she was to bring Leia to Tralus and Ben planned to come see his mother, that they would be face to face for the first time since Snoke's throne room. A mix of worry and excitement stirred in her gut.

"What about you? How are you going to get away from the First Order?"

"I will figure something out, I always do." He reached out, stroked her cheek before pulling her in and placing a soft but hasty kiss upon her forehead before he was gone.

She remained in the dream world for another few hours, wrapped in the soft blanket and sitting by the fire as the storm raged on outside of the small cabin.

* * *

Kylo woke with a start, covered in sweat and almost shaking. His mother was gravely ill, dying from an action of his ordering. Even if he had not taking the shot, it had been his command, his men who signed her fate.

He would have just stayed in bed and wept if he wasn't so determined to start planning to get off the Finalizer and make his way to the Corellian System.

"TN!" He called out through their personal comm.

A few moments later a sleepy but alert voice rang back, "Sir?"

"Report to my chambers at once."

TN dressed quickly, not in her white armor, but in the black, body hugging suit that she wore under the trooper plates. Without her helmet and with her long scarlet hair piled high on her head she doubted any other troopers on patrol would recognizer her.

The events of the prior day ran through her mind as she made the few minute walk from the Officers hall to the quarters of the Supreme Leader. She had reached out and touched him and then utter chaos had rung out in the room.

Ever since she had seen him remove his helmet during their second meeting, she couldn't deny the fact that she found him very pleasing to look at. His demeanor was also extremely attractive, how he wished to do the right thing by the Order and the galaxy but also there was still the menacing veil of Kylo Ren that would make anyone quiver in fear.

She had not known what she hoped to transpire when she had touched him, but it wasn't the violent reaction that had come about. Down deep she had hoped that he would return some affection since they had become close and with him in her mind often, there was a sense of intimacy to his probing of her subconscious.

He trusted her and she was completely loyal to him. She had sensed that he also found her alluring when they had first uncovered for each other. But then again, this could just all be in her mind.

Arriving at his door, she shook her head in an attempt to clear her mind of the inner ramblings. As she lifted her hand to knock the door slid open with the use of the Force and she entered.

Kylo was pacing the main room of his chambers. He was clad in black sleep pants and a black compression shirt without sleeves. The muscles in his upper arms rippled as he ran his hands through his still wet hair from the rain storm on Tralus.

"I need to get off this ship," he raved.

"Sir?" TN asked, still not quite awake enough for strategy.

"We need to come up with a reason to get off this ship and make a few stops around the galaxy without being questioned or followed."

"Why?"

Kylo stopped his pacing, a slight pained expression on his face. "I can not say for now, but it is an urgent need. We have to depart within the next few day cycles."

TN thought for a long time. "A Commonwealth tour…" she almost said to herself.

He quickly crossed to her, taking the small woman by the shoulders, "What did you say?"

"A Commonwealth tour, sir."

"Genius!"

His mother had been on a few of them when she was involved with the Senate. Now that he was the Supreme Leader of the First Order it wouldn't be unheard of for him to want to visit some of their territories and ensure that they were still loyal to the Order.

"Gather Alpha team and Canady and meet in my office at 0500." Kylo paced back to his bed chamber while throwing a, "Dismissed," over his shoulder.

Now more awake, TN hurried from the room and made her way back down to the trooper decks, looking to wake the guard unit.

Kylo threw on an over coat, fastening it at the waist, making him look as if he was in his usual uniform even if it was just his sleep clothes under. He stalked out of his room and down a few corridors until he was at the door to Hux's quarters.

He didn't knock, but just used the Force to enter the room uninvited. Hux's chamber was similar to Kylo's and he passed through the receiving room to the short hallway that led to the sleeping room and fresher.

Kylo found Hux in his bed, snoring slightly with a black silk sleeping mask coving his eyes. He couldn't help laugh to himself at the delicateness of his General. He also wished that he would have worn his helmet, perhaps to just give Hux a scare when waking him.

"Hux!" Kylo billowed as he kicked at the bed, making the mattress shake with the force of the jolt.

The ginger General woke with a start, snorting and swinging his head to each side, eyes still covered by the piece of silk material.

With a low groan, Hux pushed the eye mask up onto his forehead and blinked a few times waiting for the black clad man come into focus, "Ren, what is the meaning of this?"

Ren turned his back to Hux and smirked, clasping his hands behind his back then started to pace the length of the foot of the bed. "I had a prodigious idea."

"I'm sure you did," Hux grumbled as he sat up further in his bed.

"Since inheriting the role of Supreme Leader…"

Hux scoffed and Ren turned, eyes narrowed ready to use the Force to remind the General of his place. Hux's eyes enlarged slighted and he bowed his head, waiting for Ren to continue.

"…I have been cooped up on this ship and as the new leader of the First Order it has come to my attention that I would be better serving out in the sectors under our control, ensuring their ongoing loyalty. "

Thinking of this from two sides, Hux mulled over the idea. Firstly if Ren left to make the rounds to their allies then he would be free to lead military operations as he saw fit. On the other hand, if Ren was away from the rest of the First Order, Hux would not be able to keep an eye on him.

"I am aware that you have been keeping me out of the bridge and away from other operational meetings about the First Order, having me attend committees about construction, resources, and trooper training." Ren listed off the items as if they were the most dull topics, even if they had allowed him to secretly take inventory of what and who would be of use to him.

"What are you proposing?" Hux asked.

"A month long tour."

Hux's eyebrows rose.

"I will take my guard unit, TN 1002 and some of her troopers, along with a more connected Captain or Commander to act as an ambassador for the First Order."

"I guess your upbringing did ready you for a more diplomatic role," Hux sneered. The words may have been taken as a complement in any other setting, said by any other person, but Hux was making a dig at Kylo's mother.

Kylo let the insult roll off him. Even with snide remarks, Hux was warming to the idea.

"When were you planning to depart for your _grand_ _tour_?"

"Tomorrow," Kylo replied and continued when he saw the surprised look on the Hux's face. "I trust that you will be able to manage without me and there is no reason to delay my departure."

Hux rolled the idea round one more time. He'd be sure to implant a few trooper who could report back to him if anything seemed astray. It would be beneficial to have Kylo Ren otherwise occupied while Hux continued with his work toward eradicating the galaxy of the Resistance scum.

"For once Ren you are thinking with your mind and not other part of your body."

Kylo boiled over. Reaching out with the Force, wrapping an invisible hand around Hux's cream colored throat. The impact of the hit made Hux lay back on his bed, "I suggest you get the rest of your _beauty sleep_ General. We have a full day ahead of us."

Releasing the Force hold, Ren turned, the tails of his coat flowing out behind him and he left Hux's chamber just as quickly as he had entered.

* * *

When Rey woke it was dark and by the position of the moon, she figured that it was the middle of the night. Having slept most of the prior day away, she was full of nervous energy. She would need to convince Leia and the rest of Resistance to follow her off of Kashyyyk and out into the unknown.

Taking a battery operated torch, she made her way out of the village and down to the Falcon. Sitting in the cockpit she started to run through a preflight check list.

A Wookiee roar came from behind her and she almost jumped out of her skin, "Chewie! You scared me," she accused.

 _"Sorry_ ," he barked back.

"What are you doing here?" She asked.

 _"This is my home."_ Chewie came to sit in the copilot seat.

Rey thought about his response. Even though they were on his home world, the small bunk room on the Falcon was truly his home.

 _"What are_ you _doing here?"_ Chewie narrowed a hairy brow at her. " _Not trying to flee in the middle of the night?"_

"No nothing like that, but we will need to leave here soon."

 _"Leia?"_ He grunted simply.

Rey nodded her head. They were quite for the next few hours, each taking a section of the ship and checking over the mechanics, fluid levels, and port connections. As the sun was rising they both felt confident that the Falcon would run like new.

Making her way back to the village, Rey was started but pleased to see Ben standing in the path. "I"m on my way to see your mother and let the rest of the Resistance know that we are leaving."

"Good," Ben said as he moved towards her without even thinking. He was seated in the middle of his chamber meditating to push through the bond.

"I need to keep moving," Rey looked almost pained that she couldn't just stay in the bond with him.

Ben reached out his hand, "I can be where you are." If he had been in a waken state during the bond then he would have to move around his own environment to keep up with her, which may seem odd for him to just be wondering the halls of the Finalizer talking to himself. But through meditation he could remain stationary and still follow as Rey moved about her world.

Rey accepted his gesture, hooking her small hand around his first two fingers. This would look more natural to onlookers as opposed to lacing her fingers completely with his.

They moved down the well worn path to the tree village. Ben could almost feel the warmth of the Kashyyyk sun on his back as they climbed the stairs.

Rey moved to the cafeteria again and gathered a small breakfast for Leia. She had to break her physical connection to Ben, but he just stood slightly behind her, playing with strands of hair that had escaped her bun.

Back down a few more levels of stairs and Rey was once more standing at the General's door. "Are you ready for this?" Rey asked Ben.

He heaved a large sigh, "No, but I need to see her."

Rey knocked and entered after she heard Leia's small voice.

"Good morning Rey, two morning in a row." She indicated to the tray in the girl's hands.

"Yes, but I have also come to talk to you about…" Rey started.

"We need to leave, don't we?"

Handing a small plate of fruit and meat to Leia, Rey nodded. "We can't go to Naboo, the First Order will be looking for us there."

Leia had just placed a piece of melon in her mouth, "How do you know this?"

Rey worried her lip, "Do you trust me?"

"Perhaps…" Leia narrowed her eyes at the girl.

Reaching her hands out for the General's head, Leia sat back, "What are you doing?"

"Just relax and open yourself to the Force," Rey said laying her hands on either side of Leia's face.

With Rey's touch, Leia's face came into focus within the bond. Ben sucked in a breath. His mother looked so much older, the years and the disease hallowing out her features.

Leia finally forced her gaze over Rey's shoulder and she saw the dark haired man with dark eyes, her dark eyes. "Ben?"

"Hey ma," he almost squeaked out.

Her eyes flitting from Rey and then back to her son, Leia was trying to compute how this could even be possible. The phantom man in the room had no cues of Kylo Ren, nor the troubled moody eyes of awkward teenaged Ben, but these were the worried but innocent features of her Little Ben.

"How…" Leia started and then she grimaced in pain.

"It's to much for her Ben. It's hurting her. I have to let her go," Rey spoke over her shoulder.

Ben nodded and then his mother was gone from the bond but he could still hear Rey's side of the conversation.

"The Force has bonded Ben to me and I to him." Rey started.

"For how long?" Leia wheezed.

Rey looked weary, "Since Starkiller Base." She was almost positive that when Kylo Ren had reached into her mind and set a spark to her dormant Force powers that they had been connected, forever to be intertwined in each other.

Leia was mad and for good reason.

"We never exchanged information concerning the Resistance or the First Order," Rey started and she felt comfort when Ben laid his hand on her shoulder in support. "It was only ever about us."

The General started to connect the dots. Rey leaving Ahch-To to seek out Kylo Ren on the Supremacy, Kylo killing Snoke and then asking Rey to be by his side. "He loves you," Leia said almost in a whisper.

"I do," Ben's voice was just as soft, his breath ghosting the back Rey's ear.

Rey snapped her head around to look at him, the boyish expression held warmth but also trepidation. She gave him a soft smile as a blush rose in her cheeks. She turned back to Leia, "And I, him."

Ben felt as if his heart would beat out of his chest. They both had felt the love that freely flowed between them in the bond, but they had never spoken the words. He had been so close in the dream world last night.

He felt his bond waver, there had been a knock at this chamber door and he needed to sever the bond. "I have to go," he started. Still high from their confession, he bent quickly and kissed Rey's temple. "Tell my mother that I love her and I will see you soon."

A shiver ran thought her as she felt him leave the bond, but also the place where his lips had connected to her buzzed. She felt the pit of her stomach flop and flitter as she thought about actually seeing Ben, not just in the bond, or in a dream, but in the flesh.

"He's gone?" Leia asked. "I felt his signature leave."

"Yes. He wanted me to tell you that he love you and will see you soon."

Leia became worried again, "He can't come here."

"No, he can't." Rey grasped both of Leia's cold hands. "I need you to trust me and tell the Resistance to follow me."

She saw something in the young girls eyes, a fire, a hope that now also burned in the gaze of her son. "Call for Poe and we will do as you say." Leia reached up and cupped Rey's face, "You truly are the greatest beacon of Light."

* * *

 **AN: This story is flying out of me. Leave me some reviewed and feedback.**

 **I hope you all are enjoying the slow burn as much as I am. :)**


	8. Eight

**Eight**

Leia had Rey go and gather the troops. Poe, Finn, Chewie, Rose, Kaydal Ko, C'ai, and the three droids filed into her small room. Lohgarra was also present to represent the Wookiee community.

The General had moved from her bed to a chair in the corner of the room. She had even dressed out of her night clothes. "We will be leaving Kashyyyk before night fall today."

There were mummers from those in attendance. They all knew that they would be leaving the planet soon, but did not expect such a hasty retreat.

"Has the First Order found us?" Finn asked, still scared of being brought to justice for deserting.

"No," Leia continued, "But it is time for us to move on." She turned to Lohgarra, "We will forever be thankful for the hospitality of the Wookiee for opening their homes to us."

The tall pale Wookiee called out in reply and Chewie joined in. From what Rey could catch, they were singing a traditional Wookiee tribute to fallen warriors. Tears welled in her eyes at the sentiment of it all.

The Princess, and later General Leia Organa was so loved throughout the galaxy and Rey hoped that she could live up to be half as great as the woman that was now withering away in front of her.

"As many of you have noticed, I am sick, and I am entrusting Rey with bringing me to a safe place that I can rest and live out the remainder of my days."

All faces in the room were solum. C-3PO spoke, "Oh Princess…" but even with five billion languages in his system, he couldn't find the right words to say in this moment.

Leia motioned with her hand for Rey to take over command. The young girl was nervous, having the eyes of much more experienced persons looking to her for direction. "Pack your personal items, say your good-byes to our Wookiee friends, and meet by the Falcon by sunset."

The droids started to file out first. Finn caught Rey by the elbow and pulled her out of the door. As she was leaving, Rey saw Kaydel knelt down in front of Leia, crying into the General's lap.

"So what's the plan?" Finn asked once they were outside.

"Yeah, what's the plan?" Poe joined them.

"I am going to take Leia to a place with fond memories for her and a place where she can safely rest." Rey was not going to disclose too much.

Poe huffed. "That is all you are going to tell us?"

"For now, yes." Rey held firm, then turned to walk to her room once both men were silenced.

She ran her hands over the wooden walls and the crudely made furniture in the room. Apart from her AT-AT, this was the most at home she had felt in a long time. She didn't have many belonging, but she was sure to pack up all of the old Jedi texts that she had saved from Ahch-To.

Heaving the loaded pack over her shoulder she was happy to see Chewie out on the landing. He offered to take the bag of books from her and she was thankful. They spent the rest of the afternoon double checking the Falcon for it's voyage.

* * *

Kylo was in full uniform, his helmet fitting snuggly over his head. He stood in his office, pacing in front of the line for troopers and officers standing before him. "We are going to be embarking on a mission of sorts. I have been tasked to pay visits to our allies and remind them of their loyalty to the First Order."

He knew that Hux had placed some spies in the ranks of troopers as he had reached out to the minds of the new comers and it was easy to see their orders and intentions. So he only spoke of the cover mission.

"We leave in two hours. Report to Hangar Six at that time." He turned away from the crew and looked out the large window over looking the armory. "Dismissed," he called through his voice modulator.

The footsteps were heavy as the troopers and guard unit exited the room. TN remained behind, "FN 892 and TN 1504 are both spies for Hux."

"I am aware."

"What would you like me to do with them?"

"They must come with us, but after that, leave it to me." Ren was being a little more forceful with her as to shut down any of her thoughts of them being anything more than Supreme Leader and Captain.

"Yes, sir." TN simply replied and then left the room. She had also noticed that Kylo had been distant and hoped that her mistaken affections had not troubled their working relationship.

The Upsilon-class command shuttle was fully fueled and ready to depart Hangar Six just as Kylo walked out onto the tarmac. It's wings stood over a hundred feet in the air and he smiled at the beauty of his craft.

A few battalions of troopers stood at attention, creating a pathway for Kylo to follow up to his ship. Hux stood at the very end by the lowered ramp of the shuttle.

"Hux," Kylo said shortly.

"Safe travels Supreme Leader," Hux was being formal enough to bow at the waist as Kylo Ren passed and boarded the ship.

On the command shuttle, TN, the four guards that made up Alpha team, and the two other troopers were already strapping in for take off. Canady was settling into one of the bunk rooms and the four person crew was in the cockpit igniting the engines and raising the ramp to seal off the passenger compartment.

The pilot and crew were also hand selected by TN and Canady so Ren was not concerned about altering their memory, but the two troopers that had been pointed out as spies would know what a Force wipe felt like.

The engines whirled and he felt the craft jolt as the landing gear was retracted and the wings of the ship started to lower. Out of a porthole, Ren saw the battalions salute the shuttle and he was amused to also Hux perform the gesture of homage.

Once they had cleared the hangar and were a hundred miles from the Finalizer, Ren walked to the craft's small bridge. He handed coordinates to the pilot. He was answered with a nod as the man shifted their course slightly to the left.

"Make sure we are not tracked," Ren said through his mask.

A decoy droid set with a tracking device was launched from the shuttle. It already had predetermined coordinates programed into it so it would appears to the First Order that Kylo Ren was making stops at most the of controlled Core Systems.

He walked back into the main hold and goes straight to the spies. A quick wave of his hand and they are limp with unconsciousness. "Take them to the brig," Kylo commanded of his guard unit.

"That was easy," Canady's voice was full of snark. Hux's arrogance had once again made him underestimate Kylo Ren.

Ren disengaged his mask and placed it in an overhead cargo bin, knowing that he would not need it in the up coming days.

TN also removed her helmet and shook out her hair. "So where are we really going?"

"Corellian System. That is all you need to know for now."

Canady and TN exchanged a look but were thrown back some in their seats as the shuttle shifted in to hyperdrive.

* * *

The Resistance fighters were gathered in front of the Falcon, each saying long good-byes to the Wookiees who has easily become friends. Leia had been transported from the village on a speeder, having been too weak to make the mile long walk.

Chewie and Poe helped Leia stand on the ramp to the craft. "Your kindness to my people will never be forgotten. The Wookiee will forever be known as the savors of the Resistance." With all of her strength, she bowed to the large hairy creatures that had gathered to see them off.

There was a load cry from the crowd.

"And also with you," Leia answered in reply.

Chewie passed Leia's other arm off to Finn and he turned to his people. Rey watched him interact with a few in the group including a younger looking Wookiee named Lumpawaroo. Rey was shocked to hear Chewie call him 'son'. He also embraced Lohgarra before turning and entering the Falcon.

Rey was left on the ramp surrounded by Wookiee and was surprised when they all bowed to her.

Lohgarra came and spoke in the most simple and clear Shyriiwook she could, " _You are the beacon. You are the Light. You will be the redemption. May the Force be with you_."

Taking the elder Wookiee's hand in hers, they both bowed to each other. The crowd started to chant Rey's name, but what she was unaware of is that in Skyriiwook, the repeated word also meant _Queen_.

Leia was settled into Han's old quarters and the rest of the crew were readying for flight.

 _"Where to?"_ Chewie asked.

"Tralus, in the Corellian System." At this moment Rey removed the photo that had started it all and rested it on the console in front of her copilot.

As he took the Falcon out of atmosphere and pushed it in to hyperdrive, Rey could have sworn that she saw a tear drift from the Wookiee's eye into his coppery brown fur.

* * *

They entered the Corellian system within a day and Rey immediately felt connected to the planet. Out of the six worlds within the system she was able to point out Tarlus without any guidance from the Falcon's instruments.

Chewie switched controls to his side of the cockpit and he allowed Rey to just gaze upon the planet as they approached and entered the atmosphere. He knew exactly where they were going, having been to the log cabin many times.

Flying low over an expansive forest Rey wept when she saw the golden grasses of the field come into view. It was just as it was in the dream, the smooth boulders on the far side, the creek just inside the tree line, the quant home on the southwest.

The Falcon was gently landed close to the home as to make the distance for Leia to be moved minimal. Rey was almost bouncing in her seat with excitement.

 _"Go_ ," grunted Chewie.

Rey was out of her seat and went running for the ramp as the engines were winding down.

One thing she noticed about being in this world…really being in this world was the smell. She was able to sense the blooming of wild flowers by the home and there was another smell, rich and warm.

As she stepped off the ramp her feet slightly sunk into the soft ground. She was smelling rain. It had rained the last time she was in the dream world and it must have just rained here on the planet. This rose so many other questions about the dream connection.

Finally she remembered the real reason that they had come to this world and she reentered the ship to attend to Leia.

Feeling that the Falcon had landed, Leia shifted in the bed that she had shared with her husband for many years…well when they were actually talking. Having been rested she felt a renewed strength. Not waiting for any assistance, she rose from the bed and started to walk to the middle of the ship.

The rest of the crew was already outside, taking in their surroundings. Rey met Leia just by the ramp.

"So where have you taken me?" Leia asked, leaning against the bulkhead.

"See for yourself," Rey asked, holding out her arm to help the General down the steep ramp.

Leia kept her eyes down, watching her feet in order to keep from wavering. When she was finally on steady ground she looked up, the sun shone down and a cool breeze blew just at that moment. "Tralus," she whispered. "How did you know?"

Rey leaned in, so that no one else would hear, "Ben."

Tears came to Leia's eyes and in the moment Rey saw her color change. The General went down, crumpling to the ground.

"Help!" Rey screamed, "Someone help!"

Poe, Finn, and Chewie ran to aid. Leia was not completely unconscious but she was very weak and disoriented.

The strong Wookiee bent down and with the softest touch scooped up Leia and walked her towards the home. Poe followed, opening the door to usher them inside.

Rey didn't know what to do. It wasn't suppose to happen like this. Ben needed to be here. _Ben_ , she thought franticly. She dropped down to her knees, closing her eyes, and resting her hands on her thighs.

"What are you doing?" Finn hisses.

"Meditating," Rey shot back.

"Now?"

"Yes, now shut up."

Finn stood back and crossed his arms over this chest, not happy with being talked to like that.

Within a few minutes he came into focus. "Ben!" She called out to him.

"What's wrong?"

"Your mother, she collapsed."

"Where are you?"

"On Tralus. They got her into the cabin. Where are you?" Rey asked desperate.

"How much longer?" Ben called out to his crew.

Rey couldn't hear their reply, just his.

"Get me on the ground in ten!" He turned back to her, "I'm coming, just hold on."

She nodded with a tear running down her cheek and then she was snapped form her trance.

Finn helped her from the ground and they moved towards the house. Rey noted the large stump with the sharp ax stuck into it. Inside the home looked much like the one in the dream, even down to the blanket that she had thrown over the chair by the fireplace.

"Where is she?" Rey asked, having not explored the home beyond the front room.

"Down the hall, last door on the left," answered C-3PO.

Rey knocked softly to announce her intent to enter the room.

"Come in," came the soft voice of Kaydel.

Leia was laid on a bed that looked fitting for a princess. "How is she?" Rey asked the blonde girl with braided buns situated on either side of her head.

"Weak…tired…but still here."

A rumble shook the home and Rey _felt_ him. She ran from the room, past the scared and stunned faces of the rest of the Resistance, and out into the field.

Poe, Finn, and Chewie followed. They looked up in time to see the black shuttle start to fold it's wings, preparing for landing.

The grass in the field swayed with the down thrust of the command shuttle's engines.

"What the…" Poe started, shielding his eyes from the sun which was coming from behind the craft.

Rey was already crossing the field to be closer to where the ship had now touched down.

"The First Order!" Finn cried out as the three men ran for their weapons. "Rey! Get back!"

The ramp of the command shuttle opened and Ben was out of it even before it was fully extended. His eyes were locked on her and he moved toward her with such purpose.

The sound of a blaster firing echoed off the trees and Rey turned back towards the Falcon, holding up her hand and stopping the streak of energy about fifteen feet from it's intended target.

Finn looked on in shock, lowering his blaster just slightly. He had taken the shot at Kylo Ren and Rey had stopped it. He was so confused, this was their chance.

Ben continued his advance on Rey, not breaking stride even when coming under fire. She had now refocused her gaze to him and he was within five feet…four…three…two…

They stared at each other for just a moment before Ben bend down, placing his forehead against her. The blaster beam she had been holding exploded.

Rey's eyes fell closed at the sensation and she took the hand that had been outstretched, and placed it on his cheek, the cheek that held her mark.

TN stood in full uniform at the base of the ramp, just as in shock as the two humanoids and Wookiee that were perched across the field.

Poe saw the trooper and raised his blaster in her direction.

Rey sensed a change in the life forms around her and broke her connection to Ben. She turned and used the Force to lower Poe's weapon. "There will be no more shooting!" She yelled across the field.

"But he is Kylo Ren…he is the First Order!" Finn called, not giving up.

"Sir?" Came the cautious voice of TN.

Rey's eyes shot to the Captain and she reached out possessively and treated her hand in Ben's.

"I'm fine, stay with the ship TN," he relayed back to his trooper. He then turned back to Rey, "How is she?"

"Weak, but holding on."

"Take me to her."

Rey nodded and then turned, still holding on to his hand, not wanting to ever loose contact with him.

Finn face held anger, confusion, but mostly hurt. Poe on the other hand, ever the hothead, stepped in front of the door to the home as Rey and Kylo Ren approached.

"No way," Poe started.

"Poe move, he needs to see her." Rey asked gently.

"Over my dead body," Poe shot back.

"That can be arranged," Ben sneered.

Poe jutted out his hand as if in a motion to show Rey that she was hand in hand with a monster.

"She's his mother. He deserves to see her. She wants to see him." Rey tried again to do this the easy way.

When Poe still didn't move Rey held up her hand letting him know that she was prepared to used the Force to get around him.

Poe just shook his head disappointed as he stepped around the couple and went to stand next to Finn.

"What the hell is that all about?" Finn mumbled to Poe.

The pilot just shrugged and with outrage, threw a stone into the woods.

Ben also noticed that the inside of the home was remarkably like the one in the dream world. Even the fire wood stacked by the mantle looked just as he had left it.

They walked down the hall and Rey dropped his hand just to enter first, "We need the room," she said to Kaydel.

The young Officer stood from Leia's bedside and started to exit the room. In the hall her gaze fell to the man in black, her eyes wondered up his tall frame and met his dark and sullen eyes. "Ben," she said in a whisper.

"Hello Kaydel."

They had known each other in their youths, been friends even, before he was sent to the academy.

Rey came back to the door and held out her hand. Ben took it without hesitation and followed her to the bed where his mother lie, looking even more frail than through the bond just two days prior.

Very carefully Ben sat on the edge of the bed. He leaned over her, supporting his weight on his left arm. He reached out with his right hand and stroked his mother's hair from her clammy forehead.

"Hey ma," he said in a soft voice.

Leia's eyes flickered open, "Ben?"

"Yeah ma, I'm here."

Rey stood off to the side in the room, a slight smile on her face and tears in her eyes. She slipped out of the room after another minute, wanting to give Ben some privacy with his mother.

She knew she needed to explain all of this to the rest of the people she was supposed to be leading.

"Here goes nothing," she said to herself before stepping back to of the cabin.

They were on her in an instant.

"What the hell Rey!" Poe sounded first.

"You bring Kylo Ren here?" Finn accused.

BB-8 set forth a few angry beeps as well as he rolled next to his master. The others had also been filtering out of the Falcon at the sounds of raised voices.

Rey held up her hands as if to signal to them that she was about to speak but both Poe and Finn flinched, thinking that she was going to use the Force on them. This little action hurt her more than any of their angry and hateful words ever could.

She swallowed down her hurt and went on with her tale. "Back on Starkiller Base, Ben and I acquired a bond."

"Who the hell is Ben?" Finn interrupted.

"Kylo Ren…Kylo is Ben Solo." Rey paused, raising her brow, daring them to interrupt again. When neither spoke again she continued. "Ben and I have grown close through the bond."

"That was pretty obvious with that nice little welcome you gave him," Finn sneered.

Rey ignored the comment, "When I told him that is mother was sick, both he and Leia agreed that he would come to see her before it was too late."

"What give him the right?" Poe interjected.

"He is her son."

"And in case he has blinded you to the fact," Finn started in again, "he also is the one that killed his father. You know, Leia's husband."

Rey's eyes fell to ground, "I will never forget that Finn."

He scoffed.

From across the field TN watched the interaction between the girl and her crew. She had no idea who these people were, but was certain that the girl also had the Force. What she also couldn't figure out was Kylo's connection to the girl and what they were truly doing on this Core System planet.

* * *

 **AN: Because I love y'all and this story so much I have another chapter for you.**

 **What you do you think about their first meeting? Leave me some reviewed and feedback. I love hearing from you!**


	9. Nine

**Nine**

Leia tried to sit up in bed, wanting to be brave and strong for her son, but she just did not have the strength.

"It's okay Ma, you can just rest." Ben looked over her pained face and felt utterly helpless.

"Ben," Leia said in a small voice. "You came."

"Where else would I be?"

A mix between a cough and a laugh came from his mother. "With those horrible, murdering, First Order lackeys."

Ben marveled that even in her current condition, her wit and hatred of the First Order was unchanged. He also felt a pain through his heart. For almost a decade he had been one of those murdering lackeys.

"How are you here?"

He stroked her hair again, "A beautiful but stubborn girl showed me that there is so much more to life than just power and Darkness."

"Well look at that," Leia reached up and traced the scar that Rey had left across her baby's face. "You have finally learned something worth while."

They both laughed together and Leia again started to cough. Ben helped her sit up and put a cup to her lips. The cool liquid seemed to ease some of her discomfort.

"Ben I have to tell you something," Leia's breathing had picked up slightly.

"We don't have to do this now," Ben pleaded, knowing that his mother was trying to make peace.

"I'm dying Ben. When else would you like to do this?"

Her snark was still unbelievable to him and he just took one of her thinning hands in both of his, bringing them to his lips and pressing a simple kiss to her cold fingers. "What did you want to tell me, Ma?"

"I forgive you, Ben."

He had known this was coming. How could he not. "Well you shouldn't." He had pulled away from her, standing from his perch on the side of the bed and started to pace the small room.

"I need to."

"I can never forgive myself. Why do I deserve it form you?"

"This isn't about you! You selfish child!" Leia started to excite herself and Ben walked back over to try to calm her. "This is what I need to be at peace."

Resolved, Ben kept his self loathing thoughts to himself and took back up his position, holding her hands in his. "Alright, Ma," he said with a sigh. "I'm listening."

"I forgive you for what happened at the academy. I forgive you for turning to the Dark. I forgive you for all the lives that you have taken under the control of Snoke." She took a steading breath before going on, "I forgive you for killing your father. I forgive you for Luke. I forgive you for any part you had in my current state."

Ben was a mess, hearing his mother lay out all of his sins while on her death bed.

"But mostly Benny, I'm sorry."

His eyes shot up to hers. "What could you possibly be sorry for?"

"For not being around, not taking the time to understand you and the growing gift the Force had given you. For not standing up to your father when he came down on you too hard. I'm sorry for sending you away, for making you feel abandoned and unwanted. I'm sorry for not trying to come for you, even when Snoke had you, I should have never given up on you."

He was trying to be stoic. Trying not to fall apart in his mother's arms.

"I have to tell you now that you were…are...so very loved and wanted."

Tears fell from his soft brown eyes.

"I'm so very sorry," Leia's face scrunched and she started to weep. "Can you ever forgive me?"

Ben was leaning over her again, wiping tears from her eyes. "Of course, Ma. You did want you thought was best. No one can fault you for it."

By the end of his speech she had already fell into an exhausted but fitful sleep. He looked over her aging face once more, pulling a graying curl from her forehead before dipping to kiss his mother where the curl had lay.

His mind was swimming with her confession. Gaining his mother's forgiveness did nothing to heal the rotting pit that held all of his misdeeds, but if he could offer her just a small piece of solace, he would do anything to make that happen.

He stalked from the room and down the hall. Kaydel jumped from the chair by the fireplace and started to head to the back bedroom. They didn't say a word to each other as they both knew the girl would watch over his mother and be a comfort.

He was thankful that the field was quiet when he exited the home. He needed an outlet for his pent up anxiety and the sun gleamed off of his trusty ax.

Removing his coat, he left on his undershirt and plucked the ax from the base stump. The worn wood of the handle fit in his hands perfectly as he tightened his grip.

The first piece of wood split into four with the intensity of his hit. The second piece didn't fair too well either. He wanted to hit something harder and faster than he could place each log.

He yelled out in frustration.

TN heard Kylo cry out and she raced off the shuttle. She was in a full sprint towards where she had thought the sound came from. As her master came into view, she was halted in her pace as if she was running in quick sand.

Looking around confused, she noticed the girl from before standing just inside the tree line, holding out her hand.

"Unhand me," TN hissed.

"Leave him be," Rey said cooly. "I will release you if you promise to leave him be."

"Fine," TN said through gritted teeth and then she felt the Force hold on her waver. Seeing this as an opportunity to gain answers to some of the questions she had about the girl and why they were here, TN walked over to the brunette.

The two stood next to each other for a long moment, not saying anything, just watching Ben…Kylo Ren hack away at logs.

"I'm TN 1002."

Rey snorted, "I always hated that they just gave you numbers."

When the trooper didn't comment back, Rey turned her head and finally looked at her. "I'm Rey."

The women appraised each other. Rey was a more plain humanoid. Her brown hair was pulled up into a loose knot at the top of her head. Her eyes were colored like the Crab Nebula, with a mixing of greens, browns, and golds. She was shorter than TN, but with the power of the Force, TN knew not to underestimate her.

This was the first time that Rey was seeing TN clearly and not through the hazy bond connection. Her features were sharp, making her look more alien than human. The light tan skin almost seemed iridescent in the natural sunlight. The striking contrast between her lilac eyes and the flaming red hair was breathtaking.

If Rey had less confident in her unyielding bond with Ben, she would have felt threatened by the Captain.

"How do you know the Supreme Leader?"

Rey laughed again, "He tried to kill me so I gave him that scar." She drew her finger down the right side of her face for effect.

"You are the Resistance fighter from Starkiller Base," TN said with wonder, not knowing if she should draw her blaster or not.

"The one and only."

TN was even more confused. Why would Kylo Ren sneak away from the First Order to come…chop wood with a bunch of rebels? "Why are we here?" She decided to ask.

Rey's attention was brought to Ben as he removed his now sweat covered shirt. She smirked thinking how much she now enjoyed his exposed chest and back. "He didn't tell you?" Rey nodded with her head towards Ben, closely watching the trooper's reaction to a bare Kylo Ren.

As expected TN's eyes widened before quickly snapping back to an expression of indifference. "No," she answered simply.

Not seeing any harm in telling the truth, Rey disclosed who was hidden away in the cabin. "His mother is dying. He came to be with her."

"His mother…" TN rolled the thought around. "Leia Organa of the Resistance?"

"Right again." Rey was pleased with herself that she was able to remain so collected during the entire exchange with the Captain that had just days ago made her shatter light bulbs from half way across the galaxy.

Both women's postures changed when they saw Poe approached Ben.

"You have gotten what you came for Ren," called out Poe. "Why don't you go ahead and leave and let her _real_ family care for her."

Ben took another swing, hacking a log in two. His breathing was slightly labored and his chest shone with sweat. "Coming from the man who was abandoned as an infant…"

"Stay out of my head!" Poe seethed.

Slipping into the persona of Kylo, Ben tapped the side of his head, "No need to tap back into that nightmare, I got all I needed the last time."

"You son of a bitch," the words fell from Poe's lips without thinking.

Ren gripped the ax tighter and advanced towards the cocky pilot, holding the ax out and pointing it at Poe. "You will pay for that you piece of Yavin trash!"

Watching this all unfold from afar, both Rey and TN went to move towards the conflict. Rey extended her arm across the troopers chest, "I will handle this."

TN was miffed, but she didn't want to be detained by a Force hold either. So she hung back, ready to intervene if needed.

Once she was within a few yards of the arguing men Rey called out, "What is the meaning of this?"

"He disrespected my mother. Calling her vile names." Kylo was still holding the ax, pushing it in Poe's direction with each annunciation.

Rey looked to Poe.

"He's Kylo Ren!" He said as if that was the best reasoning for this hostile conflict.

"First off, let's not wave around an ax," Rey said, stepping between the men and attempting to take the weapon.

Kylo's hold remained firm.

"Ben…" Rey warned.

He huffed and then turned, throwing the ax back towards the block. It stuck perfectly with a metallic thud.

"Pompous murdering traitor," Poe said under his breath.

Ren turned back, holding out his hand to call the ax back to him. "You're dead, pilot!"

Rey used the Force to stop the ax from making it's mark. She was fed up with these two and thought it best to separate them, "You!" She pointed to Poe, "Go help Chewie set up camp for the night." She turned back to Ben, "And you, walk!" She pointed to the woods behind the cabin and pushed at his chest.

Both men grumbled but followed their orders. The ax fell to the ground.

She followed him in to the woods, trying to keep up with his longer strides. "Ben," she called to him. "Talk to me."

Finding a small clearing he finally turned. "What am I doing here Rey?"

"You came to be with your mother," she said dumbfounded. "And to see me, I thought."

Now he felt even worse, making her think that every moment on this world with her wasn't precious. "They all hate me. They think that I don't deserve this."

"Well can you blame them? You are the enemy."

"Of course," he said with scorn. "How can I forget that I am your enemy."

Rey tried to approach him, "That is not what I said and you know better." She knew that he was upset but that was no excuse for him lashing out at her.

Seeing all his errors, he sunk down to his knees, "She asked for _my_ forgiveness. Can you believe that? How asinine!"

Mimicking his position, Rey's knees fit perfectly between his. "But didn't you blame her and Han for pushing you to the Darkness? You killed your father to rid yourself of the burden of the perceived disappointment that you had been to them."

Ben knew she was right. He had hated his parents. He had lashed out at every opportunity to hurt them or their causes. What hurt him was the fact that to his parent's dying breaths, they still felt a responsibility for his abominable actions. Just as he blamed them for his spiral into the Darkness, they too held their own blame.

He had tears welling in his eyes, "When my mother dies, I will have no family. I have killed my family." He looked down at his chapped hands as if he could see the blood on them.

Rey reached out, placing a hand on his bare chest over his heart. "You will have family. You have me."

He brushed her hand away, "You should get out while you still can. Before you suffer the same fate."

Now she was becoming angry, "Ben Solo," she used his full name for effect but he still would not raise his down turned head to look at her. "We are bound whether you like it or not. You will never let harm come to me and I will promise to do the same for you."

Thinking that he didn't deserve any kindness from her, he started to shift to stand, wanting to put some distance between them.

What she did next was the furthest from his expectation.

Rey had made the split second decision when she saw him start to withdraw. His shoulders were curled forward and she had to slip under the veil of his black curls as they fell in his face. Her nose was the first to make contact, pushing his head up, and in doing so, bringing them together in a tender but hungry kiss.

Her hands were in his hair, pulling his head up to meet hers. He moved his hands to her hips, sliding her closer and she straddled his thighs.

The feelings that flowed between them were otherworldly. She was pouring her love into him and he lapped it up like man dying of thirst. Her body was firm and warm under his touch. Every one of his senses was overwhelmed and the Force shone in him with a brilliant Light.

He was now very attuned to every move and sound she made. Her fingers wandered from his hair to his face, to his neck, to his broad shoulders, exploring every inch of his bare skin within reach.

Rey felt his hands slid across her lower back as he pulled her closer still as if he was attempting to envelop her. Their lips still moved together in a soft but needing pace.

Ben reached out and ran his tongue along her bottom lip and he was rewarded with a muted whimper. A growl rumbled low in his throat as she allowed the deepening of the kiss.

What seemed like only moments later Rey was pulling back from him, her breathing quick, and her lips sightly swollen. "You can't leave me Ben. You made me love you. You can't leave me now."

"I'm so sorry Rey," he cupped her face and placed a hurried kiss on her lips. "I promise, I will never question what we have and I will always be right where you need me to be."

"I need you here," Rey's voice started to shake.

"You have me," he kissed her again, not being able to get enough. "I promise, you have me."

They laid their foreheads together, just breathing in each other, allowing the bond flow between them.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I know." She smirked and then kissed him again.

They are lost to each other. His right hand was buried in the hair at the back of her head that had fallen from the bun. Her hands explored his chest.

"Sir!" TN called out, searching the patch of forest that she has seen him enter. She rounded an outcropping of rocks and then staggered, turning her back to the couple. Having interrupted what looked like a very intimate moment between Kylo Ren and the rebel girl, Rey.

The quick glance that she has seen before turning had unfolded another meaning to their trip here. Rey was settled in Kylo's lap and they were kissing, but for some reason TN could tell that to the couple, it was more than a mere romp in the woods.

Not wanting to appear to be lurking, TN called out again, "Sir."

Ben finally heard her and removed his lips from Rey. He turned his head and looked over his shoulder seeing his Captain standing maybe ten yards away with her back turned to them.

Rey blushed and buried her face in his neck for just a moment, placing one last lingering kiss on his collar bone and then standing for her position on his lap.

"Yes TN?" Ben asked. As he stood, he reached out his hands and ran them up Rey's sides, starting at her thighs and ending on her ribs. Rey slapped his hands away playfully as he offered her a smirk.

"Uh…" TN gathered her thoughts hearing the giggle coming from behind her. "FN 892 and TN 1504 are awake and asking questions."

Rey's brows furrowed, asking a silent question.

"Hux planted two troopers to spy on me."

Nodding her head, Rey understood that their moment had passed and he would need to go tend to his people. "I guess I should go check on Leia."

He watched her start to turn away from him, he reached out and grabbed her around the wrist. Ben pulled her to him and kissed her. "Gods I could do that all day," he said as their lips parted.

"It's a good thing than that we both have people to lead, otherwise I fear we would never get anything else done."

Ben knew that in her round about way, she was saying that she would spend the rest of time entangled with him if their other responsibilities would permit it.

He went back to his log pile to retrieve his coat and TN followed close behind, not saying a word.

The gold protocol droid was standing at the side of the house, holding up the black garment, "Oh, Master Ben!" He said in surprise.

"Hey, 3PO."

"Does the Princess…your mother know you are here?" The droid asked in his robotic way as he released the coat into Ben's hands.

"I have seen her…" his eyes were down cast. C-3PO had been one of his first friends, apart from Chewie that is.

C-3PO waddled closer to Ben, placing his golden hand on the man's shoulder, "I am sorry for your loss."

"She's not dead yet 3PO," Ben chastised. He knew this for a fact since he could feel her Force signature.

"Of course, Master Ben." Beeps flared off behind the protocol droid. "That is not nice R2," but the astromech droid went on speaking his circuits to the young Solo.

Ben was not often cursed out by a droid, but R2-D2 was not pleased with him for the roles in the deaths of both Han and Luke.

TN bounced in place, watching the interaction. "Sir, I'm sorry, but we must attend to FN 892 and TN 1504."

"Yes," he said simply. Ben knelt down and placed his hands on either side of R2's domed head. "I'm sorry," was all the comfort he could offered at this time.

He hated to redress, this world was warm and his skin was sticky, but he needed to be Kylo Ren for the troopers. As he stepped back on to the command shuttle he almost felt as if he was entering another world. TN handed him his helmet and he walked to the lower deck where they had a one cell brig.

At lease the troopers had the courtesy to stand and salute when Kylo entered the room. "What is the meaning of this sir?" FN 892 asked.

His modulated voice was smooth and controlling, "You were instructed by Hux to report if there was any deviation from the preposed tour points."

"We don't know what you mean…"

"Don't lie to me!" Kylo reached out with his hand and painfully ripped into FN's mind. He saw the meeting they had with Hux just before their departure from the Finalizer.

"You're right! You're right!" Cried TN 1504. "Hux did want us to spy on you during the trip."

"For what purpose?" Ren asked, still not releasing FN 892.

"We don't know. We are just second unit troopers. Not important enough to know the reasons behind our orders." TN 1504 pleaded.

Kylo released FN and the man sagged to the floor. TN 1504 knelt down to check on his brother in arms. Thinking that it would be cruel to keep the two troopers locked up the entire time, Kylo decided to give them a choice, "You can ride out the remainder of the tour in the brig or you can allow me to wipe Hux's orders from your mind and you can join my guards on this world."

The troopers eyed each other. Ren reached in to TN 1504's mind, with more care than shown to FN, but he wanted to gauge their thoughts. These troopers were ones that may have benefitted from his Captain's profiling program as they both felt uneasy about the prospect of having to fight and kill other beings.

TN 1504 spoke up first, "Wipe me. I hate that greasy ginger anyways."

Ren smiled behind his mask.

"What the hell," stated FN 892. "Might as well try to have some fun on this trip."

With a swipe of his hand, a push from the Force, and a few suggested words both troopers had been wiped of the instructions from Hux. More over, Ren implanted that they should still report to Hux with what the General was expecting to hear.

"All taken care of sir?" TN asked when Ren walked back up to the main hold. She held out her hands and took his discarded helmet, placing it back up in a cargo bin.

He called over his four guards, "They still need to be watched, but I think you will find they are very much on our side." He turned to the troopers in black armor that made up is personal unit. "Remove you armor. You too TN. Put on different clothes. We don't want to draw attention that there is First Order occupation on this world."

As the guard unit stated to remove their composite plates, Ren gave them another order. "Take the other troopers and see if you can hunt some local game. We have many mouths to feed tonight."

"Yes sir," rang out in a choirs.

* * *

AN: Sooo...they _finally_ kissed! What did y'all think?!

I love reading your comments and reviews and have started to send out PMs back to some of you! So please leave me a comment and some feedback!

I can't wait to start to work on the next chapter!


	10. Ten

**Ten**

While his troopers were out attempting to catch something for supper, Ben made his way back to the cabin. He was thankful to not get any resistance this time when entering the home.

He walked down the hall and instead of going into his mother's room, he opened the first door on the right, which had been the room he stayed in as a boy.

It looked much the same as he remembered. A double bed centered the room and a wooden dresser on the far wall matched the rustic feeling of the home. It was such a stark difference to their more ornate estate on Naboo.

Wondering around the room, he was surprised to find a framed picture on the dresser. It was of his father when he was a younger man and in his arms was Ben as a toddler. The field took up the background of the picture, but Ben had not remembered ever coming here before.

 _You were two at the time._ Came Chewie's call from the door way. The Wookiee ducked his head to enter the standard size opening.

"Did we come here any other times?" Ben asked, still studying the photo.

Chewie just shrugged his hair covered shoulders. _Your father came here often._

"I had no idea."

 _You weren't around._ His tone was accusing.

Ben had felt connected to this place long before it held any significants for him and Rey. "Why is this all so familiar?"

 _This land once belonged to your great-grandfather, on Han's side of course._

Not knowing much about his father's side of the family, Ben was pleased to hear of his ties to this world. Han had been born within the Corellian System, but his father had never mentioned anything about this property being apart of his legacy.

 _He often stayed here once you turned…once him and your mother stopped talking._

Ben was well aware of what his actions at the academy and his siding with the First Order had done to his parent's relationship. Even as he was working to extinguish his Light, he could often feel his mother crying herself to sleep through the Force.

Being curious, he walked over the closet and swung open the double doors. He wanted to fall to his knees and weep. The wardrobe was chalk full of his father's clothing. The smell that wafted from the small room hit him like a sucker punch to the gut.

 _Even if he didn't know how to show it, he loved you Ben._

"I am starting to realize that Chewie," he reached out and ran his hands along the well worn tunics.

When he turned back around the Wookiee was gone. For such a big creature, Ben was always amazed at how quietly they could get around.

His eyes drifted back to closet and he pulled a few items from their hangers and headed for the fresher.

After a quick shower he appraised himself in a mirror. His father was only an inch shorter than him and the clothes fit well. He had picked a pair of black trousers and a gray long sleeved tunic.

Growing up, many would comment on how Ben favored his father and at the time he had not seen the resemblance, but now standing in this house, in his father's clothing, he wished he could compare his face to the face of an aging Han.

Sensing that his men were back from their hunt, Ben left the room. The sun was leaning to the west and they had a few hours before it would set.

Rey had been in council with Poe, Finn, Rose, and C'ai on the Falcon and was perplexed to see six men walk out of the forest with a hog, strapped to a pole, suspended between their shoulders.

There was another man standing just outside the home and Rey had to look twice to see that it was, in fact, Ben. He had shed his more formal black clothing for something that looked very much like something Han Solo would own.

She crossed the field, coming up behind him and slipping her hand into his. "What's this?" She pointed towards the men.

"Dinner," Ben smiled down at her.

"Supreme Leader…uh…Kylo…uh…" TN 1504 stuttered as he took in the new appearance of his commander and he was even more shocked by the small woman who was tucked into his side.

"Ren is fine for now." Ben couldn't allow them to get too familiar with calling him by his given name, for when they reported to Hux or when they had to return to the First Order, he did not want them to slip up.

"Right…Ren…sir…what would you like us to do with this?" The trooper nodded his head towards the pig.

"1504!" Came an excited voice from behind Ben and Rey.

Finn rushed forward.

"2187?" The other trooper replied.

The two men clasped hands in what appears to be a secret hand shake which ended with a one armed hug of sorts.

"What are you doing here?" Finn asked.

"I got selected to go on this tour thing with the Supreme Leader."

Rey and Ben looked at each other and just smirked. They had be worried that the two sides would not get along and Ben had thought that a meal together would be a good way for everyone to get to know one another. What he was not counting on was for FN 2187 to be aquatinted with his other troopers.

"What the hell is going on over here?" Poe asked finally walking up.

"These guys were nice enough to bring us a hog to roast. Let's get a fire going," Rey ordered looking between her group and Ben's men.

Ben smiled slightly, waving his hand and speaking to his troopers, "You better get used to taking order from her."

Both Ben and Poe walked for the ax, needing to cut down some trees to support the spit over the fire. "I think I better handle this," Poe said brashly. "Wouldn't want another Skywalker to lose a hand."

He knew he should play nice for Rey's sake but this pilot kept going too far, too deep with his insults. Ben squinted his eyes and slightly cocked his head to side.

Poe's face became uncomfortable with the splitting head ache that Ren's Force was invoking.

"Ben can you come help?" Rey called.

He broke the bond to Poe's head and then smiles. "Have at it, _friend_ ," and he slap the pilot a little too hard on the back.

FN 1002 also came out of the shuttle again, dressed in black cargo pants and a red training top. She walked over to where the other troopers were digging a small trench and stacking fire wood in.

Finn who was lugging an arm load of wood while still talking with TN 1504 saw her and almost stumbled, "Lieutenant?"

"Captain now actually. How are you FN 2187?"

"It's Finn now ma'am."

"Oh yes, you were given a name."

"Perhaps we should come up with a name for you TN," Rey proposed. "I am having trouble keeping up with all the number."

TN looked to Ren for direction. He just shrugged. "Let's hear what you got," TN offers.

"What are we doing?" Rose asked as she had just come from in the house.

"We're coming up with a name for TN 1002 here." Rey smirks pointed to the new comer.

Poe came out of the woods dragging two larger logs with V shaped branches at the top of each. "I named Finn because that is what FN sounded like to me."

"TN…TN…" Rey sounded out, thinking about names that she had encountered and something that was befitting of the Captain.

"Tiin?" Rose asked.

TN turned up her noes.

"Tik?" Rose offered again. "I once had a cat named Tik."

The Captain shook her head.

Ben was finding this all too amusing but was thrilled to see Rey getting along with his Captain after their rocky start within the bond.

"Trinity," Rey called out. "I saw the name in one of the Jedi texts." She looked around gauging the other's reaction to her suggestion.

Poe found himself staring a little too long at the woman with chiseled features and piercing pale eyes. "I think it suits her."

TN once again looked to Ren, he nodded his head in approval, giving her allowance to take a name.

"Welcome to the family Trinity," said Finn throwing his arm around the shoulders of his old commander. "Doesn't it just feel freeing to have a name?"

"Oh do me!" Called TN 1504.

Rey had to laugh. She had never seen a trooper with a personality, well apart from Finn, but even he took some work. She hoped that by bringing together the two sides, treating each other with curtsey, and not like enemies, that perhaps her meager band of Resistance fighters would join the Revolution that Ben had briefly talked about.

A fire was lit and the hog set to roast. Ben decided to go check on his mother again since his troopers and the Resistance crew seemed to getting along. He was actually thankful for Finn being so open to rekindling his friendships with his fellow troopers.

The cabin was dark and quiet. He made his way back to the master suite. Kaydel was sitting in the arm chair in the corner of the room reading a book.

She looked up when he enter the room and smiled at him. "Those clothes suit you better than that black costume you parade around in."

Ben looked to the floor and smiled. She did always tell him exactly what she was thinking and she had pegged him exactly. The uniform that he wore as Kylo Ren had become a costume that he put on to perform for the First Order. The heavy layers and high neck line were stifling at times.

"I see you haven't changed a bit since we were kids." He said.

"You've changed too much, but I think I am starting to recognize Ben Solo coming back."

"We both know that you were the child that they wanted."

Kaydel closed her book and got up from the chair, came to him and placed her hand on his forearm, "But you were what they needed. You are the reason your mother worked so hard and created the Resistance. She wanted to make this galaxy better for you. She wanted to make you proud."

He was saddened that so many others knowledge of his parent's inner thoughts and motivations surpassed his own. "Thank you, Kaydel." He placed his hand over hers and gave it light squeeze in an action of gratitude.

She left the room and he was once again alone with his mother. He went to her bed side and sat in the smaller wooden chair that had since been placed there. Not wanting to disturb her, he just lightly picked up her hand.

Leia stirred, her eyes fluttering open. "Han?" She questioned, squinting her eyes.

"No, Ma. It's me, Ben."

"Oh, my sweet boy." She swallowed hard. "I'm sorry I can't stay longer, your father is waiting on me."

He had so many memories of her saying this. There was always a meeting, a dinner, a gala, or a battle to run off to. He rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb, "How about you show up fashionably late just one more time and stay with me a little longer."

"Ok, Benny. But this is the last time." Leia was back in her slumber as the last words crossed her lips.

Rey had walked into the room and went to stand behind him, resting her hand on his shoulder. "How is she?"

"She's tired. She's ready to go be with Han." Ben was having trouble dealing with the most obvious truth that within a few days he would be an orphan.

Leaning over, Rey placed a reassuring kiss to the top of his head. "Come eat. C-3PO said he would come stay with Leia and let us know if there are any changes."

Ben pressed his mother's hand to his cheek, it was even colder than before. He laid her hand back to rest by her side on the bed before standing and following Rey back outside.

Rey and Ben were both surprised to see that the group had pulled up uncut logs around the fire to sit on. They were exchanging stories and enjoying the warm food. Finn and 1504 were standing up, acting out a mishap from their trooper training. Even Poe and Trinity, the most stoic of the group, were laughing at the antics.

Canady had even ventured out of his cabin in the command shuttle to eat, but he had separated himself from the group, being at least thirty years older than the others.

When the group saw the couple approaching, Poe took a tearing bite off the hog rib in his hand, "Well if it isn't the sneerwolf in sheep's clothing."

Rey rolled her eyes, unsure if those two would ever be able to get along. She felt the anger start to build within Ben and she reached out her hand, lightly stroking the back of his hand.

Her touch always calmed him, at least from anger, it excited him in a completely different way. He grabbed two metal plates and pulling out the pocket knife that he had found in his boyhood dresser, but assumed that it once belonged to his father, he cut two chucks off the crisp hog.

Two of the troopers from his guard unit jumped up and offered their makeshift seats to Ren. He met Rey's eyes from across the fire and inclined his head in a gesture that called her to him.

They sat side by side, tucking into their meal. Some rehydrated bread was also passed around and Rey used it to soak up the juices from the perfectly cooked meat.

The conversation had all but stopped apart from the low whispering between Rose and Finn.

"Don't," Rose hissed.

Finn didn't heed her words. "So what…you two are like a thing now or something?"

Rose huffed and rolled her eyes, backhand slapping Finn on the arm. "I told him that it is none of our business."

"Like hell it isn't," Poe demanded. "If she is going to be bedding up with the enemy I think we have the right to know what this is." He waved his bare rib bone between Ren and Rey.

Rose didn't dispute Poe's point and like the rest of the Resistance fighters around the fire, she looked to Rey for some sort of explanation or reassurance.

Fury was building in Ben again. The way that Poe spoke of what he and Rey had, as if she was just some common Coronet City prostitute, just a _thing_ to warm his bed at night.

"How dare you," Ben started, his supper forgotten.

Rey placed a hand on his arm, "These are my people and they need to know that they are safe. Just as your people will wonder what role I will play for them."

Her words both thrilled him and scared him. She was carving out a place for herself within his world. He couldn't deny that now that he had her within arms reach, he would never want her much further, but she had rejected his hand before.

"For some reason, the Force has decided that Ben and I will forever be connected. We have never, in the past, disclosed information about Resistance or First Order operations. We want to create a new system of rulership over the galaxy."

"We don't need him," Poe countered.

"We do," Rey corrected. "We have no ships, no weapons, no credits. We are but a small group of renegades with no resources."

Poe sat back on his log, arms folded over his chest in displeasure.

"What did you have in mind?" Rose asked.

Rey turned to Ben since he had been working from the inside of the First Order.

"With the help of TN…Trinity that is, and other Captains like Canady who have been uneasy with the current command of the Order, we are working to start a Revolution."

"Meaning…" Finn questioned.

Trinity spoke up, "Meaning we have been combing through trooper records, looking for more like you actually, to help us overthrow the current command."

"But isn't Kylo Ren the new Supreme Leader and hence in control of everything anyways?" Poe asked.

"It's not quite like that…" Ben started. "Hux still controls the military strategy. He was the one who gave the orders on Starkiller Base and to fire on your fleet."

"By the way, what ever happen to Snoke?" Finn asked.

The rest of the troopers also perked up, having wondered for a while now how Ren had acquired his new title.

"I killed him," Ben said without emotion or hesitation.

Shock and disbelieve were worn on all faces around the fire. All but Canady that is, his expresses was one of giddiness.

"Why?" FN 892 asked. All of the troopers had been told that the rebels were responsible for Snoke's death.

"He had a choice to kill me or Snoke." Rey interjected.

"I chose her."

Rey rewarded him with one of her bashful but sweet smiles.

"So where does Rey and the rest of us come into this?" Rose asked.

"She will lead with me," Ben answered simply.

"You are?" Finn asked with pain and concern in his voice.

"I have to be the Light to his Darkness. That is the only way that this will work."

Poe stood angrily, "So you are just going to abandon the Resistance?"

"No," Rey said in a knee-jerk reaction. "I mean yes, technically. But I am…we are," she reached over and touched Ben again, "going to be creating something beyond what the Resistance was ever able to accomplish. We _will_ bring peace and order to the galaxy once and for all."

"At what price?" Poe yelled back.

"Most will be given the chance to follow us, some will not." Ben hinted at the Commanders that will be terminated.

"Are you prepared to have that blood on your hands Rey?"

"How much do you have on yours Poe? You may sit in your x-wing and not stand face to face with those you cut down, but your ledger is also smeared in red." Rey was getting irritated with his constant judgment.

"It's not the same!" Poe protested.

"How?" Rey stood, tears almost in her eyes. "You attack and kill the enemy. We were the enemy. But not any more. These people here now, including Ben, are not our enemies. These are our new allies."

Poe was quiet for a beat, letting what she was saying set in. Both sides were to blame, their constant conflicts just produced more causalities, on both sides. He remember on Takodana, a single blast from his x-wing took out ten troopers all at once.

Before the enemy was just sets of armor with masks. Now as Finn sat beside him, Trinity looked at him with her eyes that glowed in the fire light, and the six other troopers sat, without their armor, just as human and alive as him, Poe had to admit that his hands were just as dirty.

"I need some air," Poe said and walked off towards the Falcon.

"I think I'm going to turn in for the night," Rey said, stalking off towards the cabin.

"Well that went well," Finn quipped, earring another hit from Rose.

Feeling exhausted after the exchange with the rebels, Ben ran his hands over his face and through his hair.

"Sir?"

"I'm fine. You and the other troopers bunk up in the ship. I'm going to stay with my mother tonight."

"Of course," Trinity slightly bowed her head before giving the order for the guard unit, FN, and TN to head back to the shuttle.

Ben put his face in his hands again. So much had happened in just the past day. He felt that it had not even really hit him that his mother was truly dying. He had intensified the bond with Rey through their new level of intimacy. They had divulged some of the plans for the New Order. But most compelling of all, was Rey speaking as if she had already claimed her place beside him, regardless of the path that they chose.

When he looked back up he was alone. Rose and Finn had slipped off without him even noticing. He picked up a plate and put a few cuts of meat on it for Kaydel, since she was steadfast in her desire to remain in the home in case Leia needed anything.

Entering the cabin, it was warm from the ever burning fire. He would need to chop more wood if they planned to be here more than a few days. He handed the dinner to Kaydel who was now curled up on the two person couch by the fire.

"Rey is already back with her."

Ben was already walking for the hall but turned, "Thank you, for everything."

Kaydel gave him a tight lipped smile and nodded her head.

He settled into the chair by his mother's bed side and Rey was already tucked into the plush arm chair in the corner of the room.

Leia was sleeping soundly, her breathing a little faster than usual. Her brow was slightly furrowed and her skin was dotted with sweat.

Ben took a cloth from a bowl of cool water that was placed next to the bed. He wrung the excess water from the rag before gently dabbing his mother's face. While her hands remained cool, the reset of her was flush with fever.

"I'm glad you are here for this," came Rey's sleepy voice from across the room.

"Me too," Ben whispered back to her as he again wrung out the cloth.

* * *

 **AN: A little more of a filler chapter, but I hope you enjoyed it none the less.**

 **I'm writing a lot about the relationship between Kaydel and Leia because if you didn't know, Kaydel was played by Carrie Fishers real daughter and I thought it would be sweet to let her be there for her dying mama.**

 **More excitement next chapter!**

 **Let me know that you think! I love your reviews and comment and engaging with you thought PMs.**


	11. Eleven

**Eleven**

It was hours later when he finally drifted. The even rise and fall of Rey's breathing was a stark contrast to the more spastic rhythm of his mother. It was beyond belief that he would be in the same room with the two women that he cherished the most. But by some acts of the fates, he was here, right where he needed to be.

Ben's dreams were riddled with memories of his mother. Both of them crying on his first day of school, them staying up late and eating sweets, him crying in her lap when Han had been gone for too long. Then his dreams started to morph, into the times when Snoke had already dug in his hooks and planted the seed of doubt.

The feeling of being left behind as both his mother and father went off to handle a conflict on some outer rim planet. The fear he saw in their eyes with his growing power within the Force. Sitting outside of his parents room as they fought about what to do with him. Watching the Falcon lift off after they had left him at the academy.

Jerking in the chair, Ben woke himself and ran his hands over his sleep filled eyes. His mother was also restless and he wondered if she too was reliving memories.

"Ben," Leia whispered in her sleep.

He leaned over and took her hand, "I'm here, ma."

Leia's eyes blinked open and she looked around the dim room. A lantern was turned down but still cast some light around the space. "Rey," she said, not to gain the attention of the sleeping girl, but more of an acknowledgment of her presence.

"She's here too," Ben reassured his mother.

"Ben, you must listen to me," her voice was soft and it almost seemed painful to speak. "You must protect her. You can't lose her. She is the Light."

"I know, ma." He squeezed her hand slightly and slid out of his chair onto his knees next to the bed to be closer to her. "She will join me and we will finish what you started."

"You don't understand Ben." She swallowed hard. "She will go to the Dark if that is where you lead her. You cannot let the Darkness take her. There must be balance."

He thought on this for a moment. In the beginning he had wanted Rey to let go of her past, _kill it if you have to_ , rang through his mind, and he wanted her to join him in the Dark. He knew that if they both drew power from the Dark Side of the Force that they would be unstoppable. Now he felt physically ill thinking about snuffing out even the smallest sliver of her Light.

"I promise," he vowed.

"The Light to deliver us all," Leia said with more strength. Reaching out her left hand, Leia laid it upon his cheek. The light bounced off her ring, the gold twists of filigree encase a Jatee Opal. It's colors brilliant and ever changing due to the immense pressure needed to create the stone.

She had not worn it in years, having taking it off when Han had left. But after his passing, after her dear boy, who now sat before her, killed him in cold blood, she had placed the ring back where Han has entrusted it so many years ago.

Mustering more strength, she pulled the ring from her finger, turning over the hand of her son and placing it into his palm. She closed his fingers over the cool metal, "Don't screw it up."

Ben let a breathy chuckle escape him. He had missed his mother's wit. Even as her body fought for life, her personality rang true. She was the strongest woman he had ever known. Spending most of her life fighting for the rights of others, he couldn't think of a better role model. It was just a shame that it took years of self destruction and a terminal illness for him to realize.

Leia was resting again by the time he looked up from the jewel in his palm. He remembered when his father had given to her. Ben was maybe six or seven at the time and his father had just come home from a two month long business deal.

Being a smuggler and a scoundrel, Han did not have much to his name when he fell in love with Leia. So it was years later when he finally acquired a big enough job to get the opal set in drips of gold. The stone was large and covered almost half of Leia's delicate finger.

His father had made a to-do about it and even dropped down to one knee to present the ring to his mother. Ben had found it whimsical at the time and even gone as far as picturing himself doing the same for a princess one day.

Now, a man of almost thirty, he twisted the ring in his fingers, watching the different color flecks and swirls glow over the iridescent background of the stone. He had always been transfixed by this ring when he was younger, often taking his mother hand in his and turning it just to see the colors move.

He knew what his mother was asking…no…instructing of him when she placed it in his hand, her eyes had drifted to Rey, and then her words, _Don't screw it up._

The thought of presenting the ring to Rey, asking her a simple but terrifying question, made Ben break into a cold sweat. He thought about them being bonded together for eternity though something far greater than the Force. He thought about her sitting next to him in a throne room, her jewel encrusted hand lying elegantly on the arm of a lavish chair as they ruled together.

He thought about sharing a marriage bed with her…and his mind drifted.

Rey hummed in her sleep from behind him and he shut down his current line of thought. He was sure that she could feel him through the bond.

Being pulled from the loveliest of dreams, Rey frowned. She was still curled in the chair in Leia's room and she saw the broad shoulders of Ben hunched over in his seat. She could tell he was awake but still got up quietly.

Ben heard her shift and he quickly stuffed the ring into his pant pocket. He felt her hands touch his shoulders before she snaked them across his chest.

"How is she?"

"About the same," Ben answered.

The energy between them was tense. Ben was hiding what was in his pocket and Rey was hiding what had been running through her dreams. She opted to bury her face into the crook of his neck and place a simple kiss upon the freckles that dotted his skin.

The next day Leia was only awake for a few hours and each member of the Resistance came in to say their final farewells. Finn and Rose went into together and their time was short.

Poe spent quite awhile with the General.

"You have to give them a shot," Leia said, taking deeper breaths than usual.

"But he is Kylo Ren. He has done horrible things."

"He is my son. His moral compass was skewed. He only did want he thought was right." She took a breath. "And now his compass has shifted again and him and Rey will bring order and peace."

"You seem so certain." Poe did not know how she could put so much faith back into Ren.

"I am about to be one with the Force and it has granted me access to visions…to the truth."

"And this truth shows Rey and Kylo being what…Supreme Leaders?"

Leia shifted, having been in the same position in bed for days, "No, but they will fulfill their brith rights."

Poe wanted to push further, not quite understanding the meaning of her statement, but he could tell that this line of conversion was tiring the General. "You know that I will always follow you and trust you."

"Then trust me now."

He nodded his head.

"Or I will come back from the grave to stun your ass again," Leia quipped.

Poe laughed with tears in his eyes. Leia spoke so freely of her impending passing. He envied her in a way. He was scared of death. He had no legacy beyond being the _best pilot_ in a dying band of rebels. Part of him longed for more, another purpose, a family perhaps.

He shook the thoughts from his mind and then bent and kissed the back of the General's hand, noting that one of her rings was missing.

Chewie's time with Leia was also short. _Tell Han 'hey' for me,_ was what he whimpered to her and he knelt by her bed. She had reached out and ran her hand through his silky hair.

"Keep an eye on my boy." Leia had said that too many times to the Wookiee, always leaving Ben behind.

Kaydel hardly ever left Leia's side. Rose and Rey had joined her at times to help get Leia cleaned up and changed into a new frock.

It was later that night when Ben was once again in the small chair at his mother's bed side that she spoke to him again.

"I'm tired Ben."

"I know."

"Your father is calling me, but I don't want to leave you behind."

Ben's lips pressed together and he tried to keep his chin from quivering. "It's okay, ma. I'll be fine. You can go."

He was brought back to so many good-byes of his childhood. Standing on the landing pad of their home on Naboo, he would say those words to his mother, knowing that she wanted or needed to leave. He had felt like a burden then, like an anchor that his parents wished to shed.

Her eyes were already starting to drift, "You be a good boy. We love you and may the Force be with…" Her exhaustion took her before she could finish.

"And also with you."

Ben held his mother's hand all through that night. He kissed her forehead that morning. He watched Kaydel and Rey care for her. He wept in private.

Leia never woke.

By the forth day on Tarlus she was once again one with the Force.

He had been outside copping wood when it had happened. He felt her signature fade, but more than the loss of his mother, he had also felt the presence of Luke and someone else…Vader…Anakin Skywalker was there to guide his daughter back to her family.

Ben had run in from outside, Rey and Kaydel stood over the bed, tears streaming down their cheeks.

Poe had seen Kylo rush towards the home and followed. Upon seeing the lifeless but peaceful face of his General, he crumpled to the floor by the bedroom door. Ren was kneeling at the bedside, his shoulders shaking in silent pain.

"She wouldn't have wanted this," Kaydel was the first to speak. All the teary eyes in the room looked to the blonde. "She would say, don't waste your tears on me, just go out there and kick some First Order butt."

Poe and Rey laughed through their tears, being able to hear Leia say just that.

Ben stood and then placed one final kiss to his mother's cooling forehead. He then stalked from the room without a single word.

He walked to the kitchen and started to shift through the cabinets. If he father had stayed here as often as Chewie indicated, then he would find what he was looking for soon.

The bottle of clear liquid was set behind a can of ground caff. He unscrewed the cap and brought the opening up to his nose. It burned and smelled like jet fuel, just like Han had preferred it.

Next he went hunting for cups, glasses, anything he could pour the offensive drink into.

Rey heard clanking in the next room and went to see what Ben could possibly be up to. "What are you doing?" She asked when she came to the kitchen.

"Gather everyone," Ben said still focused on filling a countertop full of containers.

Giving him an uneasy glance, Rey did as she was asked and called the group from the back room and also stuck her head out of the the door and called to the other who were sitting around the fire or tending to the ships.

The twelve from the First Order and the now eleven from the Resistance crammed into the small living area of the cabin.

Ben started to pass out the cups and waited until each member, except the droids of course, had a drink.

"My mother went to be one with the Force today. My father, uncle, and grandfather helped to guide her home. In her last days I think that she accomplished her life's work. She brought together two sides and now we shall fight as one, to right so many wrongs." Ben kept his voice steady, holding up the small vase that was acting as his glass.

"To the General," said Poe.

"To the Princess," C-3PO droned.

"To my mother," Ben called.

"To a friend," chimed in Kaydel.

"To the Resistance," Finn added.

"To the Revolution," Rey finished.

"To the Revolution," they all spoke as one.

They threw back their drinks and each had a different expression as the liquid burned on it's way down. Canady seemed satisfied and reached over, taking the drink that had been accidentally haded to the golden protocol droid and downed that one as well.

That night, the unlikely group sat around a fire. The sunset had been brilliant with flashes of oranges and pinks, a fitting send off to the renounced General. The planet's twin, Talus shone bright in the night sky, a tribute to a different twin that was now at peace.

The rest of Han's stash was pillaged and the Treta Shine was passed around as stories of the past were told.

Kaydel was recalling a memory from her childhood. She was the daughter of an ambassador from Onoam and spent most of her upbringing on Naboo. Many times she would end up with the Solo family and usually followed Ben around like the annoying sister he never wanted. He was older than her, by about ten years and she used to have the hugest crush on him.

"Remember that time you stole the Senator of Eriadu's speeder?"

Rey laughed, "So you were corrupt even as a child?"

"She dared me to!" Ben attempted to justify, pointing a finger at Kaydel.

"You should have seen Leia's face when she found out!" Kaydel rolled with laughter.

Ben let out a deep chuckle, "It didn't help that I crashed it into the palace fountain."

"You didn't?" Rey asked in amused horror.

"He did," the blonde confirmed. "We were all grounded for a month!"

Once their laughter had died down from the first story, Kaydel launched into another. "Or the time that you had to escort Princess Kendalina to the Solstice Ball."

"Must all these stories be at my expense?" Ben asked abashed.

"Oh I want to hear this one," Rey said excitedly and leaned over Ben to be closer to Kaydel so that she wouldn't miss any part of the story.

"It was the biggest event of the year and Ben was, what nineteen at the time?"

"Twenty," Ben corrected.

"Well," Kaydel continued, "the Princess was dressed in the most beautiful gown with a long train and Ben being the blundering idiot that he is, stepped on her dress and she was exposed to the entire court!"

Rey snorted, not wanting to laugh at the poor girl's expense, but mostly at the blush that rose across Ben's cheeks.

"I wasn't invited to any other formal events after that." Ben's expression showed that he was almost relieved to avoid any other gatherings.

Trinity had been watching Kylo interact with the two women from the Resistance. He looked almost boyish, his smile made his face scrunch, lines and dimples showing on his cheeks. His eyes seemed alive, joyful almost. The flat affected Ren that stalked around the Finalizer was no where to be seen. She leaned over to the Resistance pilot and whispered, "It's strange seeing him like this."

It took Poe a moment to realize that the trooper Captain was addressing him. "Tell me about it," he mused in agreement.

Kylo Ren sat between Rey and Kaydel, wearing his father's clothing and in that moment Poe could not deny Ren's parentage. His eyes were hauntingly like his mother's and he wore his father's crooked grin.

He had to resolve himself to the fact that the man sitting with them showed no semblance to the monster Kylo Ren and if Poe was going to honor Leia's dying wish, he would have to put his faith in the hands of Rey and Ben Solo.

"What do you think about all this Revolution talk?" Poe asked.

Trinity took a small sip from her cup, "I think that it is needed. You see the First Order as evil but you have no idea. Until you have been on the inside, you don't know how bad it can get."

Poe saw pain in her expression. He knew that children were taken from their families or bred to be troopers and he wondered by which means Trinity found herself in service to the First Order.

"I was six when I was taken. Old enough to remember my parents and what the Empire did to my people." She answered his unspoken question.

"Where are you from?" Poe asked, now enraptured by her story.

"Gorse."

He had heard of the inner rim mining planet before but had never met a native.

"The Jedi came to try and help, but they were no match for the numbers of the Empire. They took all the children, thinking that we would be swayed, but I remembered."

"How did you do it? Carrying out the orders of Snoke and Hux if you didn't believe in them?"

She shrugged her shoulders, "It was that or die. I tried to fight it at first, but they would just send me to _reconditioning,_ which was just them shooting currents through our heads trying to reprogram us to be subservient."

"I'm sorry," Poe said, not knowing what else to say. While his parents had abandoned him as a child to serve the Republic, they had returned and he had very fonds memories of his mother teaching him to fly. He also couldn't fathom being tortured into submission. He had followed in his parents footsteps and joined the Resistance of his own freewill.

Trinity looked across the fire at her Leader, "That is why I will follow him. His vision for the New Order will stop the enslavement of children for Hux's military. He will give his people what they have lacked for so long…choice."

Poe looked at her…really looked at her. The light from the fire caused her skin to glow and her eyes almost appeared transparent. She radiated strength. He was almost in awe of her. Not only her outwardly beauty, but also the fierce loyalty, vigor, and hope that in some sense mirrored his own when he has first joined the Resistance.

For a moment it made him feel very small and insignificant. The sacrifices that he made through the course of his service was eclipsed by what he now knew the First Order asked of their involuntary army.

He found himself admiring the resilience of not only Trinity and Finn, but the rest of the troopers who still had freedom of thought and who would join them in their fight to once and for all bring down the tyranny of the First Order.

* * *

AN: I still remember the day that we found out that Carrie Fisher died. I'm just thrilled that her children gave their blessing for Leia to return in Episode IX.

"Hope is not lost today. It is found." - Leia

Let me know what you think. I love reading your reviews and commenting back to you!


	12. Twelve

**AN: I am in need of a new Reylo fic to read. Send me your** **recommendations!**

* * *

 **Twelve**

The sun rose over Tralus and the field shone like gold filaments as the grass swayed in a gentle morning breeze.

Rey blinked and allowed her eyes to adjust to the new brightness. The fire had burned out sometime in the night and there was a slight chill in the air. She was unusually warm though and she quickly realized why.

The soft rise and fall of Ben's chest made the horizon bob as Rey tried to focus on the tree line. Inclining her head, she was able to look up at his face. His lips were slightly parted, puffing out steady breaths.

She was tucked into his side, her head on his chest, his right hand resting on her hip. His head was propped up on the log they had been sitting on the night before and while she was sure it was not the most comfortable place to lay his head, he looked content.

As she shifted to look at him, Ben's grip on her tightened, pulling her even closer to his body. So much so that she had to tangle her legs with his to avoid being bent in an unnatural position.

Trying to piece together how they ended up like this, Rey remembered talking with Finn, Rose, Poe, and Trinity late into the night. They had emptied Han's bottles of shine. She had not remembered feeling drunk, not like the men she would see stumble from the saloon on Jakku. She had just felt warm, fuzzy, and light.

Perhaps the drink had given her the courage to be this close to him in front her friends. It wasn't that she was embarrassed by their…relationship seemed too meager…what they had was so much more, but she felt no shame. She was more conscience of how their closeness might be unsettling to the rest of their companions.

She also wondered what his troopers thought of their intimidating Kylo Ren dressed like Han Solo, smiling, fraternizing with the Resistance, and cuddled up with the Jedi girl who was blamed for Snoke's death.

While she was able to gauge the thoughts and personality of Trinity over the past few days and Finn had brought the more dopey qualities out in FN 892 and TN 1504 who have adapted the names, Fett and Teedo respectively, Rey was having a hard time reading the perceptions of the four man guard unit. They had declined names but she had, in her mind, called them Alpha, Echo, Lima, and Zulu.

The harsh years on Jakku had taught her to not trust easily, but she did trust Ben, and if he had confidence in his men then so would she. Her thoughts were racing to the point that she didn't realize when his breathing had shifted.

"Your mind is busy this morning," Ben said sleepily as he pulled her closer with his right arm and stretched the other over his head. His muscles were stiff from sleeping outside on the ground, but Rey had stays by his side and he would use a log as a pillow for the rest of his life if it meant having her.

"Just thinking about what is next for us." Doubt filled her mind. What if all he wanted was these few days and then he would go back to the First Order and she would continue to run for her life. "For all of us…I mean," she hoped that he didn't hear the desperation in her voice.

He wore a pained expression. It didn't help that he could feel everything through the bond. Ben felt her uncertainty, her self consciousness, her disbelief in their connection and his feelings for her. He didn't know how else to make her grasp that what they had was forever.

Rey took his silence as his way of dismissing the conversation and his unwillingness to tell her any more of his plans. She pulled away from his warm body, it hurt as if their skin has been stitched together and she was now ripping the sutures.

Ben grabbed her around the wrist as she shifted to sit on her knees. Her face was down turned and she was reluctant to meet his eyes. "What's next for us is whatever and where ever you want us to be…" His eyes were pleading and he hoped that she felt his devotion through the bond. "But first we need to take my mother home and lay her to rest."

"We are going to Naboo? Is it safe for my people?"

"My home world was already a scheduled stop on my tour and I have been in contact with the Queen, informing her of my mother's status. They have always backed the idea of a Republic, they will shelter _our_ people."

 _Our people,_ Rey rolled his words around in her mind. Ever since they touched hands through the bond on Ahch-To, she knew what their future held. She would lead by his side, even though she had denied him on the Supremacy, she knew that she would join him.

Ben was quiet for a long moment, his head was turned and he gazed back at the cabin.

"How are you?" Rey asked sampling.

A few beats later he turned his head back to her, "Did you mean what you said the other day? That you will be my family?"

Rey's expresses became soft and she reached her hand up to stroke his cheek. "Yes Ben. You are not alone. You will never be alone."

For just a moment when he had woken that morning he expected to go into the cabin and his mother's light still be palpable in the air, but when he had reached out, her Force signature was painfully absent.

Deep in his subconscious he thought about the fact that he was responsible for both of his parent's deaths, that he was now an orphan, and that through the Darkness and his unharnessed rage, he had killed his uncle. If he would allow himself to stew in these thoughts he was sure that the Darkness would engulf him.

But there was this beacon of Light that grounded him and kept him at the edge of the precipice. There was Rey.

He took this moment to kiss her. It was needing and yielding at the same time. It was passion and it was serenity. It was the Dark meeting the Light. It was balance.

A beeping in Ben's pocket broke their connection. A second later Trinity's voice came over his comm unit. "Sir, there is a holocomm for you."

Ben took another moment to lay his forehead against hers. "I have to take this. Can you tell the other's to start to pack up and prepare to depart?"

Rey nodded her head, still trying to catch her breath. She was unsure how anyone achieved anything apart from being close if just kissing could feel as good as it did when he kissed her. Being aware that their bond heightened the experience as their feelings were able to freely flow, Rey wondered what it would feel like to do more.

He kissed her once more, letting out a small chuckle as he felt her thoughts, then stood and walked towards his ship.

Poe was leaning up against the ramp to the Falcon, "So this thing with Ren is pretty serious?" He asked when she approached.

"It is," Rey said without hesitation or guilt.

"Leia said I should trust you and him with this whole _New Order_ business."

"I know that he can be a little fanatical…"

Poe scoffed, "Is that what you call killing your own father?"

Rey was unsure if Ben would ever live that action down. She had not completely forgiven him for it, but she had been able to understand it through their connection in the bond. She let out a breath , "You can trust me, follow me, fight with me…or not, but my place is with him."

Nodding his head, Poe noticed movement back out of the Ren's command shuttle.

Ben walked to the Falcon where Rey was standing with the pilot. In his right hand hung a gurney. "I need your help," he said simply to Poe. "Finn and Chewie should come too."

Poe looked down at the disengaged hover-gurney and knew it was time to move the General. He called out to Finn and the Wookiee who were inside the ship preparing to leave the planet.

The four men walked into the house and Rose and Kaydel exited with packed up supplies. Rey allowed Ben to this his way and her heart swelled at the thought of him allowing her people to partake in this honor.

A few minutes later the door to the cabin opened. The gurney now floated easily a few feet off the ground, a man was posted at each corner guiding it. Leia still held the peaceful expression of her passing and what looked like an old hand made quilt rested over her body, her hands were folded carefully over her chest.

As they approached the Falcon, Rose ran from the tree line, a bunch of wild flowers in her hands. She placed them on the General's chest as they stopped by the ramp.

Poe and Finn looked back at Ren who was at the lefthand foot of the gurney. He nodded and they started to move his mother up the ramp into the Falcon. He reached out his hand, letting it skim down her leg and off her foot, his hand hung in the air for just a moment once he lost contact with his mother.

He then turned to Chewie, "Fly directly to Naboo. They will be expecting you. Only land at night. Your access codes are the same. Hide the Falcon."

Chewie roared out in understanding and started to walk up the ramp into the ship.

"And Chewie," Ben called. The Wookiee turned. "Thank you for taking her home."

The Wookiee let out a softer cry and then entered the Falcon.

"You aren't coming with us?" Rey asked.

"I can't. I have to land as if I am on my tour. It will be broadcasted over holo."

"Oh." Rey worried her lip. She didn't expect them to have to be separated again.

Ben reached out and traced her lower lip with the pad of his thumb, "I will be mere hours behind you."

"And then from there?"

"We can discuss it later, but I think I have a plan that will work."

A thousand possibilities ran through her mind and Ben took that moment to silence all of them. He bent and captured her lips with his and in the simple touch she was lost to only him.

Kaydel stuck her head out from the ships hull door, "Chewie says we have to go if we are going to make it on time."

Rey rested her forehead against Ben's. "I'll see you in the morning?"

"In the morning," Ben confirmed.

They kissed again and then Rey walked up the ramp of the Falcon, stopping just inside the hull door and turned, gazing back at him much like she did on Crait. He gave her the Solo smirk, which she returned and then hit the button to lift the ramp.

Poe and Kaydel sat next to the gurney in the main hold of the ship and Rey took her place in the pilot's seat. Her and Chewie ran through the preflight checks, flipped a few switches, and Rey took the controls to get them off Tralus.

As they approached the atmosphere Rey felt the bond tug, as if a string was connecting her to the planet…or a certain person on the planet. She knew that she would see him again soon, but part of her wanted to rush back to the surface and Force throw him onto the Falcon and never look back.

They cleared the twin worlds and Chewie pushed the Falcon into hyperdrive.

Ben stayed in the field, watching until his father's ship was just a dot against the clear blue Tralus sky. The strangest sensation ran through him, as if a physical piece of him had been severed. He grabbed at his chest, where the pain radiated from.

He walked back to the cabin that for days now had been bustling with activity and life but now it was deathly quiet. Walking the hall to his mother room he found Trinity stripping the bed.

"These were soiled…I just thought…" She didn't know how to gauge his expression.

"Thank you," Ben said quietly from the door way. He continued to be surprised by the unquestioning service his Captain had toward him. It was touching that without being asked, she would tend to his mother's death bed to allow him to avoid the task.

She went back to her efforts and watched her leader closely. He walked around the room, picking up photos and trinkets that were set upon dressers or tables. He finally fell into the chair at the corner of the room, resting his elbows on his knees and burying his face in his hands.

"Are you okay, sir?"

Ren sucked in a deep breath, rubbing his hands over his face and then looked up at her as he exhaled. "No, but I have to be for what is to come."

Trinity pulled the cases off the pillows and added them to the pile of dirty linens. "And what is to come?"

"We have to get to Naboo and I have to discuss the plan with Rey. If she says yes this time then we will have to figure it out from there."

"This time?" Trinity asked gathering up the pile of sheets.

He reached into his pocket and felt that his mother's ring was still there. "I asked her to join me once before and she tried to draw her saber on me."

Trinity laughed, "Of course she did. Perhaps she was going to give you a matching scar on the other side."

"Perhaps," Ren mused with a fond smile.

* * *

The Falcon hung in orbit. They were waiting for the sun to set on the city of Theed where the estate that had once belonged to Queen Amidala, and had since been passed down to her descendants, set just on the outskirts of town.

Finally they were able to enter the atmosphere and Chewie took over controls knowing the route like the back of his hairy hand. He flew through the country side hoping to not gather any attention from the still buzzy city center.

The darkened estate came into view and he set the ship down on a circular landing pad. When the Falcon was firmly on the ground Chewie turned to a panel on his side if the cockpit and punched a few buttons then an access code and the ship jerked.

"What's that?" Rey asked, a little scared.

 _Subterranean hangar,_ he answered.

Now Ben's words had made sense. Chewie's access code and hiding the Falcon. She had wondered how they were going to be able to stay on the planet, in such a big city, without being discovered.

As the platform lowered, lights flickered to life within the hangar. It's walls were roughly carved rock and it was just big enough to fit the Falcon. Rey smiled thinking that Han had wanted something simple to hide his smuggling vessel.

The ramp was lowered and C-3PO was the first to exit the Falcon, "Oh! We are finally home!"

The rest of the crew filed out of the ship and as they looked up, two large bay doors slid closed, hiding the ship from sight.

Rey and Chewie joined Poe and Kaydel and pushed the gurney off the ship. C-3PO had already used his access codes to open the double doors that led from the hangar into the home.

From the back of the group, Rey heard Finn yell out for everyone to _Get down!_ and then something else about an A _mbush!_ and him cursing Kylo Ren.

She ran from her place at the head of the gurney, pushing past a few others to see what was going on.

Standing in the cavernous entry were four guards in red leather jackets over light blue tunics. Each wore a hat of the same leather trimmed with gold bands. What was most surprising was when a woman, no older than Rey, walked out from behind the guards.

The woman wore a red robe that wrapped across her body and appeared to be made of the finest material that Rey had ever seen. Her face was painted pale and her eyes pulled up towards her temples. Long blonde hair was braided and adorned with gold rings. A single strip of red ran from her lower lip to her chin.

"You must be Rey." The woman spoke.

"Who are you?" Rey asked, her hand reaching for the blaster at her hip and wishing that she had a lightsaber.

"I am Arinlo, Queen of Naboo."

Rey felt a little more at ease and bowed in an awkward manor. "Oh, our apologies."

"Ben Solo said to expect you and my dear friend, the Princess of Alderaan." The Queen craned her neck, trying to get a glimpse of the gurney.

The tension in the room dissipated. Rey waved her hand and Poe moved the gurney forward and up to the Queen.

Arinlo looked down upon the aged face of Leia and reached out running the back of her fingers along the cold cheek of the princess. "Thank you for bringing her home," the Queen spoke before snapping her fingers and her guards stepped forward and stated to guide the gurney away.

"It is what she requested," Rey stated. "Where are you taking her?"

"To be prepared for burial, according to tradition." Arinlo replied.

Apart from the title and station that she held, Arinlo's beauty was regal but natural at the same time. The posture that she held commanded the room. Rey looked down at the dirt and engine grease caked around her nails and her travel rumpled clothing and felt inferior to the Queen she stood before.

"Salk?" Kaydel called.

"Kay," the Queen said in a pleasing tone.

"You know each other?" Rey asked.

Arinlo didn't answer, just looked at the rest of the group. "3PO, Chewie it has been too long."

"Mistress Salk…I mean Arinlo…I mean your Majesty…" C-3PO tripped over his words and bowed at the waist.

 _Hey kid,_ Chewie called casually.

The Queen smiled kindly, still not answering Rey's question. "I will bid you all a good night. I will send over supplies but you must not leave the property for risk of being discovered. We will send for you when the services have been arranged."

Rey watched as the Queen left the room, her movement so fluid that it almost appeared that she was floating under the train of her robes.

"That was intense," Finn said almost breathless.

Rolling her eyes, Rey walked back to the Falcon to retrieve her bag. When she reentered the home Chewie was waiting for her.

 _This way_ , he said, nodding his head indicating that she should follow.

They wove through the lavish home. The walls were made of a cream colored stone that seemed to glitter in some places. The floors were polished and spotless. Carved wooden furniture sat against walls and held large vases that she guessed had once held grand floral arrangement.

They stopped in front of a metal door that was inlaid with wooden panels. _You can stay here._

Rey nodded and when she turned back to address Chewie, he was gone. She wondered how a creature as big as a Wookiee could move so quickly and quietly.

She pushed the door open and knew exactly where she was. The smell that hung in the stale air was that of leather, grey amber, and something almost metallic. It was undeniably Ben.

The room was large, by Rey's standards, and the walls were a dark blue-gray and trimmed in silver metal. A low set bed took up one wall. The headboard was made out of the same dark wood as most of the furniture in the home. On the opposite wall were two doors much like the one at the entrance of the room. Rey guessed that one was a fresher and the other a closet.

What drew her focus was a metal and glass desk that took up an entire corner of the room. On top of the desk sat a few bins. She moved closer to examine the contents.

"Parts," she said aloud to herself.

Shifting to the second bin, she saw what looked to be start of a lightsaber hilt. The last time that Ben had been in this room, before he was sent off to the academy, he had been attempting to construct a lightsaber.

Rey picked up the hollow tube, feeling the weight and design of it. She remembered wielding Kylo Ren's saber against Snoke in the throne room, the girth of it a little too large for her hands.

"I started designing sabers when I was eighteen."

She turned at the voice and ran to him, throwing her arms around his neck. "Are you really here?"

"No. I'm still on Tralus. We leave in just a few minutes."

"You should have told me that the Queen of Naboo would be waiting for us. She gave Finn quite a scare." Rey said with a smile, now finding it amusing.

Ben laughed, "Little Salk's bark is worse than her bite." He turned his head away from Rey, looking over his shoulder. Turning back he took her face in his hands, "I have to go. I will see you very soon." He kissed her and now with more control, he was able to sever the bond.

He knew that she was in his room on Naboo. He thought of her slipping out of her clothes and using his shower, which had seen many solo indiscretions of his youth, and then her getting into his bed, where no other woman had ever laid. He groaned out in frustration, wanting to be by her side.

"Get through this one last performance and then it's you and her for the rest of time," he tells himself before boarding the command shuttle.

* * *

AN: I am writing a little slower but it's because I want what is coming to be right. There is going to a lot going on and I am researching a lot of details.

Also I finally downloaded TLJ and have watched it like a million times...well the Reylo parts at least.

You know I always love reading your reviews and comments...so leave me some love. It keeps me going when I'm stuck.


	13. Thirteen

**Thirteen**

Rey woke with a start.

Apart from sleeping in the most comfortable bed, surrounded by the scent of Ben, the Force had just jerked her from a most hopeful dream. It was the same feeling from Tralus when he had entered the atmosphere.

She jumped out of the bed and ran from the room. The house was large and a maze of corridors, but she knew each turn to make. Finally she was on the veranda at the back of the home. She only had a moment to take in the breathtaking view of the lake that stretched out in every direction.

Then she heard the whirling sound of the command shuttle's engines. The black ship appeared over the mountains across the lake and it came down low over the water.

Though the ship was moving quickly and it was only fifty feet over the surface, through the bond she could see him standing behind the red glazed glass of the bridge.

Ren had ordered his pilot to buzz his childhood home, flying as low as possible. He had felt it when she exited the structure and he strained his eyes to catch a glimpse of her.

There, on the stone deck stood his love. Her hair was down and wild from sleep. She wore one of his tunics, a light gray one that he had not seen in years. The shirt came to her mid thigh but otherwise her legs were bare. He had never seen her more beautiful and he wanted to bypass the formalities of his landing and go right to her.

But the galaxy and Hux were watching and he needed the next three weeks to finalize his plans without raising any suspicions from the First Order.

A few minutes later he was landing by the palace. He drew out a sigh and covered his head with his helmet.

It had been so freeing for those four days on Tralus, to not have to play the role of Kylo Ren. To not have to hide the Light that was now attempting to burst from him. But with holo cams waiting to capture his 'invasion' of Naboo, he needed to put on his best performance.

Stepping down into the main hold, his guard unit was back in their black trooper armor. Trinity was in her white armor with the purple shoulder plate in place. The other two troopers were instructed to stay with the ship and post guard.

Ren pulled on his gloves and adjusted his cloak. "How do I look?" He asked his Captain.

"Menacing as alway, sir," she quipped.

He was back in her mind and he saw her smirk. After they had left the First Order he has been out of Trinity's mind, not having any reason to keep their conversations private, but now, with prying eyes and ears about, he had asked her permission to once again access her thoughts.

The shuttle touched down and with puffs of steam from released pressure, the ramp was lowered. Kylo Ren walked out first, his gait lumbering, his fists tight at his sides.

* * *

"Hey, look who's on the holo," Finn called from the kitchen of the estate.

Rey entered the home and looked at the holo projector seeing Ben, dressed as Kylo Ren, exit his ship and walk towards a group of guards that looked much like the ones that accompanied the Queen the night before.

"I keep forgetting how creepy that guy looks with the mask on," Finn mused as he bit into a piece of fruit. His gaze finally turned to Rey. "Whoa! Rey, clothes!" He covered his eyes with the hand that wasn't holding the pear.

She looked down are her self and realized that she was only dressed in one of Ben's shirts. The thin grey material didn't leave much to the imagination, especially after being out in the cold morning air. Her legs were on full display and she tried to pull at the hem of the shirt.

Being torn between wanting to stay and watch the holo and wanting to run to her room and put on some pants, she didn't know what to do.

Taking one last look at the projection she saw that he was greeting the Queen and they were walking into the palace where the holo cam didn't follow. Sighing she turned from the room and went to find something clean to put on.

* * *

Kylo walked up the steps to the front of the palace where the Queen was waiting. He smiled under his mask, not missing this pomp and circumstance at all.

Arinlo wore her pale blonde hair down and it trailed past her hips. Her headdress was made of black velvet with red jewels and beading encrusting where it dipped at her forehead. Her dress came up tight around her neck, a ribbon of red with gold embroidery ran down the center. A deep red cloak with a high collar flowed out behind her.

Ren stood more than a half foot over her, but she only raised her eyes to him, keeping her expression steady and indifferent. Her face was painted white with dark brows. The traditional red dots sat on her cheeks and the single strip of red ran from her bottom lip all the way down her neck and seemed to connect to the ribbon that split her dress.

They stood before each other for a long moment before Arinlo finally inclined her head, giving a shallow curtsey. "Supreme Leader," her voice was monotone.

"Queen Arinlo," Ren answered through his modulator and dipped his head slightly.

She turned and held out her hand. Ren's training as a young man kicked in and he placed his gloved hand under hers and he guided her towards the palace. The crowds behind them cheered.

The Queen's guard followed along with Trinity and Alpha Team. The doors to the palace were shut behind them but they could still hear the roar from the onlookers.

Arinlo turned to Kylo, "Take that ridiculous thing off. You sound like an idiot."

Trinity tired to hide her laugh with a cough.

Kylo reached up, disengaging his helmet and removed it from his head. "Nice to see you too, cousin."

"When we heard that the feared Kylo Ren, the new Supreme Leader of the First Order, was going to be paying us a visit, many of my counselors were worried, but I always knew that it was little Ben Solo under all those drapes."

Trinity couldn't help herself this time and let out a snotting laugh, having to remove her helmet to get air.

Ren looked down at his outfit, "What? You don't like it?"

Arinlo looked on with awe. "It really is you…" She had expected Kylo to strike down his trooper for such behavior. She had even expected him to use the Force as punishment for her sharp tongue.

When he had sent her a holocomm a few days ago, she had never imagined that Ben Solo was truly back. The last time that Ren had come to Naboo it was to collect a Force sensitive boy and deliver him to Snoke. It had not been a pleasant visit.

Kylo motioned with his hand for his Captain to approach. "Trinity, this is my cousin Salk, Queen Arinlo of Naboo."

"Oh she has a name?" Arinlo asked in surprise. It was few and far between that a trooper was given a name.

"Rey named me, ma'am," Trinity answered and bowed out of respect.

The Queen hummed, "Yes, Rey…" she held out her hand again. Ren extended his and she laid hers atop and they started to walk.

He tucked his helmet under the arm that wasn't extended out to Arinlo and they ventured further into the palace.

"I met your little Rey of Light last night."

"And what are your thoughts on her?" Kylo asked with interest.

"What you have asked is doable," she stopped and turned to him. "Have you asked her yet? Is she even willing?"

Ren looked to the floor, "I have not."

"Coward," the Queen quipped with a smile and nudged her elbow into his arm.

"It is hard to accept rejection twice from the same person."

"But this time is different. You two are closer now?" Arinlo couldn't believe it when Kylo Ren actually blushed. "I'll take that as a yes."

"Yes," he confirmed.

"Well let's get through Leia's service and then we will work on getting your girl by your side."

Ren nodded, "Can you take me to her?"

"Of course," Arinlo gave a sympathetic smile and started to move towards a corridor to their left.

They came out of the back of the palace and across a perfectly manicured garden. The gravel in the pathways crunched under his boots and he was reminded of running through these gardens as a boy, chasing after Kaydel and Salk as they laughed and screamed at his pursuit.

Coming upon a ivy covered wall, Ren removed his hand from his cousin's and pulled back the greenery. An old wooden door lay behind and he pushed it open and allowed Arinlo to enter before him. A winding stone stair case led them to the tomb.

The grotto was dimly lit, but natural light did pour in through a blue toned stained glass pane that was centered to the burial vault that held his grandmother. He looked to the window and the depiction of Amidala had the same piercing brown eyes that were passed down to him.

His mother lie in an open casket, her graying hair was braided and wrapped around the crown of her head. White honeysuckle flowers were woven into the braid. The paleness of her face appeared almost rosy with what he presumed was makeup. Her lips were in a perfect pout with the corners just slightly upturned.

Leia almost looked like when she used to pretend to be asleep when Ben would come into his parent's room too early in the morning. A tear escaped as he thought back to those times but he quickly swiped it away.

Reaching down to touch his mother's hands, they were as cold as the stone in the room. He fished in his pocket and pulled out the gold dice that he had taken from the cockpit of the Falcon on Tralus. Slipping the ring from her right hand, he wove the gold chain between her fingers.

"We can't have a public funeral," Arinlo finally spoke.

"I know," Ben said with a sigh. His mother was known as the leader of the Resistance, if a procession was held it would raise questions from the First Order and he didn't want any trouble for himself or the people of Naboo.

"Her interment will be tomorrow, so I suggest that if there are any others that wish to say a final farewell it be done soon."

Ren nodded his head. "I think I would like to go home now."

"Of course, go be with your people." Arinlo made no move to leave as she planned to spend some time with the princess. "Oh, and Ben," she called as he was starting to ascend the stairs, "Your household will be entertaining the Queen for dinner tonight so please make sure the menu is fitting." She smiled as his head dropped and he laughed while starting to climb the stairs again.

He walked back across the gardens and into the palace. Trinity and his guard unit were waiting for him. He replaced his helmet and once again become Kylo Ren. Two of his guards opened the palace doors for him and Trinity exited first.

Walking back to his shuttle he looked around the crowds, wondering if there were others that once knew the timid and awkward Ben Solo. A few people shrank back under the gaze from behind the mask. Truthfully he hated the thing, hardly being able to see out of it and he often had to rely on the Force in battles.

Once back in his shuttle he removed his helmet and walked up to the bridge, moving towards the pilot's seat. "Up," he instructed and took the seat.

He was used to flying smaller vessels like his TIE Silencer, but he had learned to fly in the Falcon and figured that he could easily get the hang of the shuttle. Mostly though he just wanted to fly over the city like he had with his father so many times. He wanted to watch his home estate appear over the rolling hills. He wanted to be the one to fly home to _her._

He set the shuttle down on the landing pad knowing that the Falcon was concealed in the hanger below. Ben stood and allowed the pilot to finish shutting down the engines. He could feel that she was close and he wanted to be infinitely closer.

Rey was aboard the shuttle just as the ramp lowered. She knew that she had been here once before when Kylo had taken her from Takodana, but she had been unconscious then. She looked around the main hold and saw Trinity picking up a few luggage cases. The trooper, still in her white armor but without her helmet just pointed to the doorway that led to the cockpit.

Just as she was entering the hall, Ben jumped down off the last few rungs of a ladder. His feet were just firmly planted before she was in his arms, leaping from a few feet away, he caught her around the waist.

He grunted out as the force of her body landed against his. "Did you miss me?" He asked with a chuckle.

"No, not one bit," Rey answered smiling up at him before bringing their lips together.

The vision of her from this morning, in just one of his shirts made him groan into the kiss and he tightened his grip around her.

Someone above them cleared their throat. The pilots were waiting to get down the ladder from the cockpit and Rey essentially had Ben pressed up against it. She released her arms from around his neck and slid down his body, which did nothing to ease Ben's wondering mind and aching body.

She then took his hand and pulled him from the shuttle. "Can you show them to rooms?" Ben called to C-3PO as he was being lugged past the droid and into the house.

Rey headed straight for Ben's room, wanting…no needing to be alone with him.

The door closed behind them and Rey still had his hand. She attempted to pull him to her but his attention was elsewhere. Following his line of sight, he was just eyeing the entire room. It was at this point that she dropped his hand, knowing that the moment had been lost.

"The last time I was here…" Ben started walking over to his desk and ran his hands over some of the parts that Rey had taken out the night before. "It seems like a life time ago."

He took this moment to look around the rest of the room. The bed sheets were still thrown back and looked well slept in. The image of her in his bed brought his focus back to her.

Rey walked over the bed and sat down where the covers were pulled back, "Tell me about your time here."

Ben went to the other side of the bed, sat down and started to unlace his boots. "We only stayed here when my mother was on official business…or when they would leaving me behind." His tone was somber.

"It was safer to leave me here with the droids or with Chewie than any other place. Other times we lived on the Falcon or in borrowed state rooms."

Thinking back to the other night, Rey decided to get some answers. "The Queen and Kaydel know each other, but they never said how."

He smiled and then kicked his legs up on the bed, propping himself up on the headboard. "You already know that Kaydel and myself grew up together, but then there was Salk."

Rey didn't say anything, just mimicked his position and pressed her shoulder up against his.

"Salk is actually my cousin, three or four times removed."

"Cousin?" Rey questioned. She thought that Ben didn't have any other family.

"Her great-grandmother was sister to Amidala's father."

Rey now tried to connect the lineage. Not even knowing her own parents, it was difficult for her to grasp the thought of going back three generations.

"So she spent a lot of time on Naboo and her parents were also involved in the Republic. They used to just throw all of us kids together and I was the oldest so I often got stuck on babysitting duty, or guard duty as I used to call it. Those girls were wild!" He said with a laugh and a long off look, remembering some of their antics.

"I'm trying to imagine you in charge of two little girls," Rey was laughing too. It felt like the most natural and normal thing to do in his presence.

"Oh, it never turned out well for me."

"I guess not," Rey sighed and rested her head on his shoulder, the one that she had stabbed with the lightsaber on Starkiller. She reached over and took his hands, pulling off the offensive gloves. Then she wove her right hand in his left.

"What are we going to do Ben?"

He leaned over, resting his cheek on her hair for just a moment before he turned his face and placed a kiss on the crown of her head. Rey was looking down at their jointed hands, tracing his large fingers with her left hand. They were both in thought about what as going to be the next step.

If Naboo was just another stop on his tour than he would be expected to move on within a few days and she started to question if she could be apart from him. But how could she leave behind her friends. The Resistance was not her fight, she knew that she could do a greater good to be by Ben's side, but the thought of never seeing Poe, Rose…Finn ever again hurt just as much.

Ben didn't answer because in the words of his cousin, he was a coward. So instead of asking her again to join him, laying out his elaborate plan, begging if he had to, he took his free hand and placed it on her cheek, moving her face up to meet his.

Their kiss was slow at first. The feelings of uncertainty and the fear of being without each other flowed between them. The dread that they both felt at being once again alone sank in and Rey dropped his hand, gripped the front of his coat and pulled herself up into his lap.

Just like on Tarlus when they had shared their first kiss, she straddled his tights in an attempt to get impossibly close to him. She wanted their very souls to merge. Their hearts seemed to beat in time, their breathing was shallow and wanting.

His hands were on her hips, at her back, in her hair. He wanted to touch every single last inch of her.

Rey's hands fumbled with the hidden buttons of his coat, needing to feel his skin. Ben sat forward some and allowed Rey to help push the thick quilted garment from his shoulders. She didn't waste time with pulling his tunic over his head and her hands were on his chest as soon as the material left her fingers.

Her touch felt like licking flames moving over both scars on each shoulder. She followed the long scar up to his face and threaded her fingers through his hair, pulling slightly to tilt his head back so she could expose and kiss along her mark.

Ben groaned and pulled at her hips, needing just a little friction. "Rey," he breathed. She hummed into his neck in response. "Be with me," he pleaded.

Rey now moved from her task, keeping her hands on either side of his neck, and looked into his eyes. "How?"

"Just say you will…" he almost seemed pained by the statement. "Please."

His lips were swollen from their kiss and he wore the same pout and desperation in his eyes as he did on the Supremacy. She knew now just how much she had broken him with her prior rejection. She also knew now how much she had been fractured to be apart from him.

"Yes," she whispered.

* * *

AN: I loved writing this chapter. What do y'all thing?

Poll: Would their first time together be serious like Fifty or fun like a RomCom?

Please leave me your thoughts, feelings, and answer the poll question before. 3


	14. Fourteen

**Fourteen**

She had said yes and he felt the Light swell in him. If he could possibly be glowing from the amount of hope that filled his soul it could have lit the room. But doubt soon came. Rey did not know what she was fully committing to. Once she knew his plan would she reject him again? His heart started to ache now as the Darkness took root.

"Ben," Rey said a little too loudly. "Stay here with me." Her hands were on either side of his face, forcing him to focus back on her.

He knew that she wasn't referring to this place, but rather this moment. She had started to see him…feel him drift. "I'm right here," he reassured and kissed her again.

The worry from Rey's face melted as they joined again. She had just agreed to be with him, in whatever way fate and the Force had already laid out for them. _Ben Solo will turn, I've seen it_ , her words to Luke echoed in her mind, _he's our only hope._

Being here, in his arms was a testament to those words. Even though Ben would say that it was all Rey's doing, the entire reason he turned and that she was the hope that the galaxy needed.

A fire was alight within them and they pulled at each other, in a mutual battle for closeness. Ben bit at her bottom lip and she groaned out and grinned herself further into his lap.

Her tunic was peeled from her body and just a cropped off tight undershirt separated the skin to skin contacted of their chests.

He kissed down her her neck and ran his tongue along her newly exposed collar bone. She gripped the hair at the back of his head as he also pulled her hips into his. A whimpering moan came from deep in her chest as her body continued to come alive under his touch.

They hardly noticed the sound of the door opening and the clanking metal feet of the protocol droid. "Master Ben," C-3PO announced. Once he realized what he had walked in on, the droid jumped slightly, "Oh! Apologies Master Ben, Mistress Rey," and he waddled side to side until his back was turned to the couple.

Rey at first had hunched herself into Ben's chest as he protectively wrapped his arms around her back, trying to block the intruder from seeing too much of her exposed torso. Once the droid was turned, she scurried off his lap and reached for her discarded shirt, quickly slipping it back on.

"What is it, 3PO?" Ben almost hissed.

Still with his back turned, C-3PO answered, "Salk…I mean Arinlo…I mean the Queen's ship approaches."

"The Queen?" Rey questioned trying to smooth out her hair.

Ben cursed under his breath, "I forgot that she was coming for a meal tonight."

"I will notify the rest of the house," C-3PO said before quickly walking from the room, closing the door behind him.

Rey rushed to the fresher to take in her appearance in the mirror to make sure that she looked presentable and not like she had just had a roll with Ben.

Still sitting on the bed, Ben had a very painful reminder of where their actions were leading them. He stood and adjusted his pants and also walked into the fresher. His hair stuck out in the back where Rey had her hands tangled just minutes before.

"We both look a mess," Rey commented and reached up to attempt to tame Ben's hair.

Once she was satisfied that they both were decent, she started to walk to the door. Ben caught her by the wrist and pulled her back, gripping her face and planting one more searing kiss on her lip.

"What are you doing to me?" Rey asked breathlessly once they parted.

Ben chuckled lowly and then took her hand and they exited the room. Down a few corridors was the entry hall where the others had already gathered.

A moment later the doors opened and Arinlo walked in with only two guards this time. She was also dresses more causally and was stripped of the traditional makeup.

"Your Majesty," Ben addressed her and bowed. The rest of the group took his lead and also bowed. Rose even offered an off balanced curtsey like she had seen in some old holofilms.

Arinlo waved her hand, "None of that. Without those pesky holocams around I can finally welcome you like family should." She walked to Ben and wrapped her arms around his shoulders bring him in to a hug.

In a surprising move, Ben grabbed her around the waist and then spun her around in the air, much like they did when they were younger. Arinlo let out a shriek of laughter.

"Family?" Finn asked, leaning in towards Rey, looking very confused by Ren's playful reaction to the Queen.

"They are cousins from Amidala's blood line." Rey whispered back.

Finn just nodded his head as if he understood the reference, but truly he did not.

Once the Queen was back on her feet, she next went to hug her old friend Kaydel. "So what's for dinner? I'm starved."

Ben looked around sheepishly.

"Predictable," Arinlo said rolling her eyes. She turned to her guards and snapped her fingers.

The doors to the home opened again and about ten more people poured in, each carrying some sort of food or drink items.

The grand dining room of the estate was massive and meant to entertain large groups. Arinlo's staff set out everything and filed back out of the home just as quickly and quietly as they had entered. "Shall we?" The Queen motioned with her hand.

Ben allowed his cousin to take the seat at the head of the table, they were on her world after all. He sat to her right and Rey sat next to him. Poe sat at the Queen's left and the rest of the group found seats around the table. Resistance and First Order mingled as they all started to plate food from the large serving bowls that lined the center of the table.

"Your world is beautiful," Rey commented to Arinlo. "What I've seen of it that is…which isn't much." She was bumbling and her cheeks flared pink. She scoffed at the thought of her, a scavenger from Jakku, sharing a meal with royalty. Sure, Leia was a princess and by that thought, Ben was a prince, but they did not hold current thrones.

"Well then you must remedy that. I will arrange a shuttle for tomorrow and Ben can show you around Theed."

"That is very kind of you," Rey answered and then tucked back into her food.

"We are holding a private service for Leia tomorrow morning. You are all invite to come and pay your respects to our Princess and your General," Arinlo offered.

The table to quiet for a moment, each Resistance fighter thinking of the real reason they were on Naboo.

Finally it was Finn who broke the silence. He was sitting next to Rey and nudged her with his elbow, "You have to try the red stuff! I've never tasted anything like it."

She wasn't sure what a trooper's diet was like, but with being on a ship for so long, Rey guessed it was similar to her portions from Jakku. On his advice, she scooped some of the mashed red food onto her plate. It's taste was sweet and savory at the same time and an unlady-like groan escaped her when she put the second fork full into her mouth.

Ben's complete attention was on Rey. He knew only some of her experiences on Jakku and when they had first met she was bordering on too thin. Carrying her the distance back to his shuttle on Takodana was made easy by her frail frame. Now that she had consistence food, she had filled out in a lean and athletic way.

But the sounds she was making while trying some of the other dishes that Finn was pointing out to her made Ben think of their time alone early. His hands were gripped around his fork and knife, trying his best to not throw that beautiful woman over his shoulder and finish what they had started.

"So how long are you planning to stay on Naboo?" Arinlo asked, drawing Ben's attention away from his companion.

"Just a few days."

"And after that?"

Ben knew what she was doing, pushing him to talk about his plans. He had hoped to talk with Rey in private about this but he knew that she would never leave her friends without telling them the whole story. He still narrowed his eyes at his cousin, letting her know that he was not pleased.

"I will continue on with my tour. There are other worlds that are not as welcoming as yours."

Rey attention was now shifted to the conversation between Ben and the Queen. They had not talked about what was going to happen after they laid Leia to rest. Just hours before she had agreed to be with him, but was that in a physical sense or was that forever.

 _Both_ , Rey thought to herself.

"What about Rey?" Poe asked stabbing at a piece of something that looked like potatoes.

Ben turned to what was now the highest ranking officer in the Resistance and tilted his head with a calm but questioning expression on his face. What did this pilot care what happened to Rey? Ben already knew that Rey would want for nothing and always be safe. He would bet his life on it.

"Look," Poe started again, mouth full of food. "I can't even start to try and understand this whole Force-thing you two have going on, but if you think that you can just fly in for a couple days, have your way with her, and then leave...you will have me to answer to."

"Poe!" Rey exclaimed, both embarrassed and angered by his words, but also comforted that someone cared so much about her wellbeing.

"What? You were a shell of a person after Crait and that was when you didn't even like the guy!" Poe tired to reason, "If he just ditches you now, I would hate to see what it would do to you."

"I'm not going to do any of the things you have assumed are within my character." Ben defended.

"Then you will have no problem telling us what is going on," Finn stated as he stood and reached for another helping of food.

Arinlo smirked as she watched Ben's eyes move from Finn to Poe to Rey. Even as a young girl she had enjoyed watching him squirm.

"I was going to do this in private," Ben first whispered to Rey.

"It's fine," she answered. While she too would have much rather known what the plan was ahead of time, she knew that the rest of her friends would have wanted to know.

"When I was younger and spent a lot of time in the palace and around the court, it wasn't uncommon for a maiden of the Queen's to catch the eye of a visiting dignitary. Since the Queen's staff are not slaves, but rather carefully selected free-borns, it wasn't unheard of for a woman to leave the service of the Queen."

"Yes," Arinlo agreed. "Many advantageous marriages have come from such circumstances."

"Marriages?" Finn muffled in surprise, his mouth full of food.

Rey's eyes were large, "Marriages?" She repeated Finn's question.

Ben panicked and his expression showed it, "That is not what I am proposing…right now at least." The last part was said under his breath, but Rey was close enough to hear.

"So what are you _proposing_?" Poe's tone was suspicious.

"No one in the First Order beyond those in this room know what Rey looks like. The troopers who saw her on the Supremacy all perished. She could walk onto the Finalize with me and no one would bat an eye."

"So I would just be one of the Queen's servants that caught your eye?" Rey asked.

"Yes, and the Queen would gift you to me as a sign of ongoing trust and loyalty."

"Gift her? As if she is a thing to be given?" Finn sounded angry at the idea. Not only was Rey leaving with Kylo Ren, but also the way he thought she could be traded like a piece of property.

"Unfortunately, that is how she will be viewed by the Generals of the First Order." Ben clarified. "I know that Rey is free to make her own decisions. This was just one of the less complicated ways for her to be with me."

"You know, you could just leave the First Order and join up with us. Not put Rey in any other danger." Poe shot in.

"Cut off one head and two will grow in it's place," Ben replied. "Rey and I are the only ones who can take down the First Order from the inside. If I leave, they will just place someone else in my role, some one who, believe it or not, is capable of doing far worse things than those that are on my conscience."

Rey's breathing had picked up and she pushed her chair back, "I need some air."

The whole table watched as Rey practically ran from the room.

"Nice one Ren," Poe quipped, stabbing at another potato on his plate.

Ben pushed his chair back as well and threw his cloth napkin onto the table before following after Rey.

The veranda was shaded by large climbing trees with fragrant purple blooms that hung under the canopy. Purple petals covered the stone deck and Rey was leaning on the craved railing looking out over the water as the sun set behind the mountains.

He came to stand next to her, their hands almost touching. "I should have told you about the plan earlier."

"I can understand why you were scared to share it with me considering how I reacted to your last… _proposal_."

"Yes well…"

Rey turned towards him, "I get it Ben. Your whole life you have felt undeserving. You have felt less than. You have felt worthless. Thrown away by your parents." The words rang in her mind, words that he has spoke to her on the Supremacy.

Ben was looking down at her feet, feeling very open and vulnerable.

"You once told me that I was nothing, but not to you." Rey put her fingers under his chin and tilted his head up, "Look at me Ben Solo." His pleading brown eyes met hers. "You are something to me. You are everything to me."

He bent down and immediately captured her lips to his. When he had first asked her to join him on the Supremacy and he told her that she was nothing, he was trying to show her how much they were alined. That he too was nothing. He had uttered a single _Please,_ begging her to not only join him but also to tell him that he was worth something to her as well.

But she had rejected him. Attempted to draw the saber on him. Left him there, unknowing if he was dead. The darkness of those thoughts came creeping up into his heart and he pulled her tighter, trying to keep the doubt at bay.

They parted and she rested her forehead against his. "What ever your plan is. I will do it. I have seen our future and I want it to start right now."

Ben tilted his head and kissed her forehead. "What did you see of our future?"

"It wasn't so much a vision, but more of a feeling." She had turned from him and was again looking out over the water. He settled in behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his chin on the top of her head. "I was walking to you and you were happy. I was happy. I felt love and acceptance. I felt freedom and peace. I felt balance. It felt like coming home."

Ben hummed and kissed the crown of her head.

"What did you see?" Rey asked.

He became stiff behind her and he stammered, "I uh…I saw…"

"It can't be that bad can it?" Rey joked and turned in his arms.

"I also saw you walking towards me…"

"And?" Rey probed.

"You were veiled in white."

Rey looked at him blankly, thinking about to her own vision. Ben had been dressed in black, much like it always was so nothing had seemed out of the ordinary. "Oh," she finally said realizing what exactly the Force had been trying to tell them.

Thinking quickly to change the subject, Rey put some distance between them and went to sit on a stone bench, "So tell me more about how your plan is going to work."

Ben followed her and needing some part of him to be touching her, he angled his knees to be in contact with hers. "When I leave here in a few days time, I will have only twenty-one days left on my tour. I will need to visit fifteen other worlds before returning to the Finalizer and that includes coming back to Naboo for you."

"So I won't be going with you?"

"Not to the other worlds. There are some places that are becoming hostile after Snoke's death and I may need to act in a manner that you might find unbecoming."

"Meaning you may have to kill people."

"If it comes to that, yes. Though I hope it does not."

"And what am I to do while you are gone?"

"Spend time with your friends, train, and also be integrated into the Queen's staff. I have no doubt that Hux will investigate into your past once you are presented to the First Order as my companion."

"And when you return?"

Ben smiled, still thinking of his mother's ring that was stowed away on his shuttle, "I will make a public offer to you and the Queen will grant you leave of your position at court."

"This seems all very complicated." Rey worried her lip.

"It would be even more so if I was to tell Hux and the High Command that I just picked you up while refueling on Jakku." Ben laughed to himself for a moment, "Even though stranger things have happened…Luke was a Prince and he grew up on Tatooine."

"We both know that I am not royalty. My parents were drunk junk traders, remember." Rey looked down at her hands, still trying to come to terms with her parentage.

"Hey," Ben spoke, tilting her head to his. "You know that means nothing to me. You are so much more than the sins of your parents."

"So are you," Rey replied, reaching up to run her hand along his cheek and then up into his hair.

In a swift movement, Ben grabs her waist and pulls her to him. He is standing and shifts his grip to the back of her thighs. He smirks when she lets out a squeak in surprise before she starts to laugh.

Rey wraps her legs around his waist, hooking her ankles together to hold her self in place. She weaves her arms around his neck and her fingers are in the hair at the back of his neck.

They kiss as he moved them through the house, just occasionally glazing over her shoulder to make sure he is headed down the correct hall and also to avoid running into walls and corners.

He gets to his room as quickly as possible and wraps one strong arm around her waist and frees his other one to twist the doorknob before kicking the door open with his foot. Entering the room he pauses long enough the kick the door back shut and uses the Force and a twitch of his fingers to engage the lock.

When his shins hit the side of the bed he places her down on her back. She is still latched on to him, not wanting to release her legs and she pulls into him, rubbing against him.

Back in the dinning room, the group had lulled into conversation and when they heard the shriek from Rey, Poe and Finn jumped to their feet to offer aid, but then laughter had filled the halls and Arinlo motioned with her hands for the men to retake their seats.

"I don't think we will be seeing them for the rest of the night," the Queen made the comment with a knowing smile. "Who is ready for desert?"

* * *

 **AN: I picture Rey's under clothes to be something like the ones Bea Miller wears in her Yes Girl video. BTW, that song is Cannon for Rey's play list as well, if you care to take a listen.**

 **As always I love to hear your thoughts so leave me a comment/review! 3**


	15. Fifteen

**AN: So I have been avoiding writing this chapter. I even took three days to go back over the last fourteen chapters and fix most of the errors...but without any further ado... SMUT. You have been warned.**

* * *

 **Fifteen**

He pushed her further into the bed, kissing down her cheek to her neck, demanding the sounds that were coming from her throat. She was holding on to him as if she thought he would disappear at any moment.

Ben reached back, placing his hands on Rey's ankles, unhooking them and then running his hands up her legs and gripped at her thighs. They had not separated since they entered the room. Their kiss was frantic and wanting.

Rey ran her hands up under his shirt, feeling the hard planes of his stomach and chest. "Off," she muffled into the kiss and pulled at his shirt.

He stood upright and reached his right hand behind his head, gripped the tunic between his shoulder blades and then pulled it from his body, discarding it to the floor.

She attempted to follow, but he stopped her, pulling her to her feet before him.

Taking the hem of her shirt in his large hands, he pulled and Rey lifted her arms as the garment joined his. Ben then knelt down, peppering kisses along her toned abdomen. She shivered as he lightly nipped at her hip bone.

He unlaced each of her shoes, pulling them off painfully slow. Rey's hands were buried in his hair as he kissed right below her belly button and then pulled at the tie that held her pants in place.

Gripping around her ribs, his fingers almost touched around her slim frame. He dug his fingers into her soft skin and then kissed her stomach one more time before his hands started to graze down over her hips. His thumbs hooked into the waist of her pants and they fell as his hands continued down the curves of her legs.

He kissed lower, where her pants had been previously covering and ventured down to the low cut band of her panties. Her hands gripped harder into his hair and her head fell back with a sharp inhale and throaty moan.

Ben looked up at her with pure amazement. He had no idea what he did to deserve the beautiful woman who was quaking under his simple touch.

When he had stopped, Rey looked down, wondering if she had done something wrong or if he had changed his mind, not liking something about her.

Her fears were squashed when he rose and brought his lips back to hers. As they kissed she started to work at the closure of his pants, which quickly pooled around his ankles under the skill of her nimble fingers.

He still had on his boots and Rey grabbed at his hips, turning their positions and pushed him to sit on the bed.

She made quick work of the laces of his boots and threw each one over her shoulder with a satisfy thud against the solid floor of his room. His leather pants soon littered the floor as well.

He sat before her in just boxers that clung to his toned thighs. She appraised him. The wide expanse of his shoulders and chest, the dips of the muscles down his abdomen, the scars from their duel on Starkiller and the larger one that adorned his left flank from Chewie's bowcaster blast.

Now that she looked at him closely, pale marks covered much of his skin, better healed than the ones she had given him. She wondered for a moment if those were from past battles or submissive abuse at Snoke's hand.

Ben was starting to feel self-conscious under her gaze and he reached out a hand, pulling her back to him by her hip. With her still standing, but nestled between his thighs, he was calmed by just having physical contact with her.

Rey moved her hands over his face, always finding her mark. She took his face in her hands and kissed along his scar. He closed his eyes at the sensation. When she did this, he felt as if she was telling him that she accepted his sins, mainly against her. She was silently forgiving him his trespasses…and he loved her even more for it.

"Back," she said and motioned with her head and eyes towards the headboard of the bed.

Ben released his hold on her and scooted back up to the position that he had been in before C-3PO had walked in on them.

Rey bit her lip, "Close your eyes," she instructed.

He smirked but did what he was told.

She shimmied out of her panties and pulled her crop top bra off. Before climbing on to the bed, she used the Force to dim the lights, flicking the switch across the room.

He felt the bed shift and then she crawled onto his lap. "Can I open my eyes yet?" He asked.

The only answer she gave him is when she took both of his hands and placed them over her breasts. Ben's eyes shot open but he was not pleased to see trepidation in her eyes.

Having never done anything like this before, Rey was unsure if she was doing it right. She wanted to please him and her mind started to race with every dark and disappointing thought.

"Oh you beautiful girl, you could never disappoint me," Ben answered her unasked question as he ran his hands along her back and pulled her in for a kiss.

As his hands roamed her back, he noted that she was completely bare when his finger tips grazed down over her rear.

Rey felt him twitch under her and she ground down into his lap at the pressure. Ben gripped into the flesh of her rear and pulled her tight into him, skimming her against his very obviously aroused length.

There has been times on Jakku where she would provide herself relief, but nothing could compare to the feeling that rocked through her now. Not only was she engaging with the man that she loved more than anything else in the galaxy, but their bond within the Force seemed to heighten every caress.

Ben was grasping at every inch of her, attempting to get her impossibly closer. They continued to kiss and grind against each other. Rey was panting and he could feel her slickness through the fabric that separated them.

He rubbed his right hand down her stomach, skimming his thumb between her wet curls and then circled her nub. She arched back with a loud moan. Her hands gripped his thighs as she leaned back, giving him more access.

Her body jerked as he worked the sensitive bundle of nerves. He kissed down the column of her beautiful throat, nipping at her collar bone and then moving down her chest, he took one of her perfectly rosy nipples into his mouth. Covering his teeth with his lips, he put pressure and pulled at her nipple.

"Maker," Rey hissed out, moving her right hand to thread it through his hair in an attempt to keep him from stopping his current efforts. "I want you…I need you," she breathed out, starting to now pull at the waist band of his boxers.

Ben pushed up against the headboard, lifting his hips just enough so that Rey could pull the last garment that separated them down his legs. He kicked them the rest of the way off once she got them past his knees.

Now he could feel her heat against him and it took all of his restraint to not just bury himself inside of her.

Rey went back to kissing him as she felt the smooth skin of his shaft twitch up against her. She rocked her hips, coating him with an almost embarrassing amount of moisture. They moaned into the kiss at the sensitivity of their actions.

Sweat was already beading on their skin and Ben reached up, pushing back the hair that was starting to stick to Rey's forehead.

When she shifted up onto her knees and slightly off his lap, his arousal sprung to attention between them. They were both breathing heavy, sucking in each other's air.

Ben reached back up and caressed her cheek, opening himself to her. All of his thoughts, emotions, feelings flowed to her. Rey took in a sharp breath at the bombardment of his love for her and then opened her mind to him, running her thumb along her mark.

They were engrossed with each other. Hypnotized within the bond. Their gaze locked on the other as they pour everything into each other.

Rey sank down on him. The sensation burned for a moment, accommodating him, and then it was pure bliss. The joining felt like a stabbing wound that finally found relief. The ache in her heart that had been festering since Starkiller was now completely filled with his devotion.

Ben concentrated on Rey's feelings through the bond, having to distract himself from releasing in that instant from the heated grip that she had on him. He had never felt anything more pure in his entire existence and for an unknown reason she had given it to him.

She had stilled on his lap, just adjusting to the feeling of him filling her. Her expression held a mix of lust, love, belonging, and understanding. In the moment that they had poured everything into each other, she had felt his entire life hit her soul. But the feeling that most rocked her was when he has sent relief, having bared his entire existence to her and she still sent back love.

Her body shivered and the muscles between her thighs clamped down.

A hiss escaped his lips and his face scrunched.

"Did I hurt you?" Rey asked worried.

The Solo smirk appeared, "Hardly. It just feels good…almost too good."

Rey got a devilish idea in her mind. "What if I do this…" and she slightly rolled her hips.

He grabbed her hips, guiding her slowly back down on to him as his head was thrown back against the headboard.

While she had planned to torment him, the movement had set a fire deep in the pit of her stomach and she yearn for more. She stated to move again, rocking back and then tilting her hips on the way forward. Her whole body seemed to tighten preparing for release. "Ben…" she breathed.

He finally looked back up at her when she called his name. Her brows were furrowed, not in pain, but in desperation. She was impossibly tight around him and she down turned her head, her hair falling into her face.

Wanting to see the moment she fell apart, he released one of her hips and placed his large hand just under her jaw, forcing her to meet his gaze. He reached forward and kissed her, deep and needing.

Rey's breathing became erratic. Pleasureful cries, deep moans, and some profanity fell from her lips. One of her hands gripped on to his shoulder while the other dug into the bicep of the arm that held her gaze to his.

Ben shifted his hips just a fraction and Rey's eyes rolled back into her head, having rubbed the right spot deep within her.

When her eyes refocused, Ben was watching her with rapt interest. He could tell that she was becoming tired, exhausted from the constant tension of her body. He pulled at her hip forcefully, grinding her against him and then she fell.

The pinched brows relaxed in a easy but surprised expression. Her lip parted and her breathing stopped for just a moment. Her nails dug into his skin and the tightness in her core turned to waves.

Ben pulled her forward and kissed her letting her ride out her release. When the pulsing around him had ceased, he wrapped his arm around her back and shifted their position to where she was now under him. He was careful not to break contact with her, but the movement caused her body to jerk with the sensitivity.

Her breathing had restarted and her body felt limp and relaxed. A lazy and satisfied smile played across her lips, her eyes lulling.

This only lasted for a second, for when he pulled away and then slid back in to the hilt, she gasped out a breath, eyes wide, and ready for more.

He was pressed into her, his elbows rested on either side of her head supporting his weight. Ben stroked the sheen from her forehead again and kissed her swollen lips, arching his body and starting a slow but deep tempo.

Rey wrapped her arms under his and gripped into his muscular back. She could felt him flex under her fingertips with each thrust. Her nails dug in which only spurred him on.

She was panting and mewing into his neck as his forehead rested against her shoulder. Her heels hooked around his thighs, pulling him in deeper each time he joined her. The burning was building again and she shifted her hips up. With his next thrust she saw stars.

His pace quickened when he felt her start to tense. Ben sat back on his heels, grabbing just above her hips, holding her just off the bed, and brought her body to meet his time and time again.

With her arms flung above her head and Ben hitting that amazing place deep in her, she could not hold on and released again. This time she almost screamed his name, these waves crashing over her harder and faster than the last.

He gritted his teeth and thrusted into her just as long as he felt her quivering around him. As her body became lax with both pleasure and exhaustion, he pulls from her, releasing onto her stomach.

Taking an extra moment to look down upon the beautiful woman that was laid out bare before him, his seed and her sweat glistening on her pale skin. He didn't think that he would ever see anything that could compare.

Rey propped herself up on her arms and Ben helped her sit up the rest of the way, bringing her into his arms and kissing her, never wanting to break this bond with her.

"I love you, so very much," he whispered onto her lips.

She hummed happily and toyed with the hair at the nape of his neck. "How much is that?"

He answered her by twitching his again ready erection into the back of her thighs.

Rey giggled and kissed him again deeply. "I'm glad you recoup so quickly but I think that I will need a moment." After coming down from the highs that she reached during their intercourse, the soreness was starting to creep back in.

Ben too let out a quiet laugh, "Being your first time, I can imagine that you will be uncomfortable for a few days."

Her face flushed, "How did you know it was my first time…I could have done this with tons of guys." The last words even made her scrunch up her face in disgust thinking about the men back on Jakku.

"I…uh…I could tell." Ben was sorry that he brought it up.

"Was it that bad?" Rey asked looked down between them, unwilling to meet his eyes.

"Maker no!" He almost shouted. "Rey look at me," her eyes came to his. "That…what we just did…what you just gave to me is everything."

She just nodded her head, doubt still swirling in her mind.

"You are not supposed to doubt us," Ben pleaded.

Rey looked back up at him, "I know."

Ben kissed her once more and wrapped his arms around her waist. He steadied his movements with the Force, stood from the bed, her still in his arms, and moved towards the fresher.

He set her down on her feet and turned towards the glass enclosed shower, turning the knobs from memory to the perfect temperature. When steam started to rise, he reached out of her hand, dragging her into the shower with him.

Rey's muscles were stiff and the hot water felt heavenly over her shoulders and back.

Her head was tilted back and she allowed the water to soak her hair. When she righted her head and opened her eyes, his deep gaze was set upon her. He was memorizing every single moment with her. Every freckle, every curve of her body, every gold fleck within her eyes, every wrinkle set in her face when she smiles at him.

When she reached for the soap, Ben called it to his hand with the Force, taking it and lathering it against her body. He started at her chest, encircling both of her breast before moving to her arms, taking each of her fingers between his.

Next was her back and he worked the tight knots that sat in her shoulders and lower back. He ran his slick hands over the swells of her toned rear, taking a cheek in each hand and using his strong fingers to massage the tissue.

He gripped her hips and turned her so that she was again facing him. He was still knelt on the tile floor. He ran the soap over her abdomen, washing any remnants of their lovemaking from her body.

He moved on to her legs, starting at each foot, working to the calf and up to the thigh. Ben repeated the process with her other leg before setting her foot again firmly on the floor.

Looking up to meet her gaze she had a lazy but lovely smile on her face. He lathered his hand again and then ran it along the apex of her thighs. She let out something between a gasp and a wince.

"I'm sorry," Ben said, attempting to be as gentle as possible when cleaning her.

Rey ran her hands through his now wet hair, "It's alright. It hurts but it also feels really good."

The water ran down her body and rinsed the suds towards the drain. Ben dipped his head and placed a kiss on her pubic bone.

"Ben," Rey sucked in a breath and gripped his hair tighter.

He was expecting her to push his head away, but when she had breathed out his name, she had also pulled his face into her.

Smirking, he ran his hand down her leg, cupping the back of her knee before pulling it up and over his shoulder, opening her to him. He leaned in and placed another kiss upon her curls.

Rey's back pressed against the cool tile of the shower as the warm water continued to stream down her body. She looked down at him, his ears poked out of his slicked down hair and his larger nose was pressed into her skin. But when he looked up at her as he reached out his tongue and tasted her, she literally become weak in the knees.

Ben tightened his grip on her, bracing one of his hands up her back and the other gripped the thigh of the leg she balanced on. When he has licked her, her eyes had rolled back and her head fell, resting against the wall.

He was being gentle, just light kisses and slight laps of his tongue, but he wanted to truly taste her. He wanted to drive his tongue up into her and savor what he had just done to her body. But he knew that near the end of their lovemaking that he had drove into her with such passion that her opening would be extremely tender.

So he kept to her nub, licking, sucking, kissing as she held his face in place.

"Maker, Ben…" Rey gasped.

He knew she was close, her legs stating to shake. He fortified his hold on her and sucked on her…hard.

She came with a cry, the borders of pleasure and pain were balanced and perfectly gray.

Rey pulled at his hair, at his face, and brought it to hers, kissing him with every ounce of strength she had left. He pulled away from her, calling the discarded soap from the floor and then Rey leaned back, watching as he quickly scrubbed his body.

She took this moment to truly ogle him. The water and suds run down the divots of his abdomen in a way that made her body heat from the inside. When he reached down to wash his length, it was hard from the release that he just provided her.

Rey was curious, having never, before Ben, seen a man truly naked, let alone touched one, or did anything she had experienced with him. She reached out her hand.

"You don't have to," Ben said as he rubbed his hand over his arousal, washing off the soap.

"I just…I've never…" Rey started and when Ben didn't move away from her, she caressed her fingers along the top of him. The skin was surprising soft and moved over the firm rod under.

Ben's eyes were large and completely focused on her. She wrapped her small hand around him, her finger tips just coming back in contact with her thumb. When she stroked him back and then towards the tip, his shuttered.

"Is this okay?" She continued to slowly move her enclosed hand from base to tip.

His expressed was that of someone on the verge of crying. His eyes were pleading, brows pushed together. His pouty lower lip was ever more swollen and it hung open as he sucked in breath through his mouth.

Having to remember that she had asked him a questions, he nodded his head. "You will need to stop soon…" he hated to say.

"Why?"

"Because if you don't…and I don't get to…it can be uncomfortable."

Rey reflected on this for a moment. "Show me what to do."

He looked down at her with hesitation.

"Show me how to make you come." She used the slang that she had heard many times around the brothel on Jakku.

Ben shuttered again, becoming even harder with her forward words. He wrapped his large right hand around hers, then used his left hand to cup her face and bring her in for a searing kiss.

He then started to move their hands together, in a motion and tempo that he knew would make him reach climax.

Rey noted how he would focus on the head and she pressed her thumb up into the tender flesh just under on his upstroke. He hissed and cursed, bitting her lower lip within their kiss.

He reached down and cupped her breast, threading her nipple between his ring and middle finger. Pinching his fingers together, Rey sucked in a breath and on reflex tightened her grip.

Ben groaned out, slowing the pace of his hand and Rey felt shots of warmth hit her thigh.

His breathing was quick and he leaned down resting his forehead to hers, "What are you doing to me?"

* * *

 **AN: ::blushing emoji::**

 **I have not written smut in a long time...and I give you 3,800 words of it! Holy Hell.**

 **As always, let me know your thoughts. I love to hear them and reply back to you all. I hope that I did right by Ben and Rey.**


	16. Sixteen

**Sixteen**

When Kaydel was sure that Ben and Rey were not going to return to the dinner table, she moved down to sit next to Arinlo. The rest of the evening was pleasant. Politics were not discussed, no one muttered insults to the other, unless they were in jest of course. Both Poe and Arinlo had a way with their words and they bantered back and forth.

Kaydel watched Trinity as Poe leaned into the Queen's space, smiling and firing back with sarcasm. The Captain's eyes were down turned to her plate and she focused solely on her food.

"Trinity," Kaydel whispered.

The trooper didn't look up. Kaydel mused that since the troop had only been named a few days ago that it might take her a while to answer to it on instinct. To get the red head's attention, Kaydel picked a grape from her plate and tossed it in the trooper's direction.

An object bounced off her plate and Trinity looked up around the table. The young blonde with buns on either side of her head was looking at her and then motioning for Trinity to join her on the other side of the table. Looking around at her other troopers, who were deep in conversation with Finn, she stood and walked around to sit in the chair that Rey had previously occupied.

Poe had noticed movement off to his right and he shifted his eyes to watch the Captain walk around the table. Her movement were almost feline and he smirked with thought.

She took the seat next to Kaydel and even though the Queen demanded attention with her flamboyant stories and gestures, Poe's gaze kept slipping to the pale eyed trooper who was in quiet conversation with his Lieutenant.

Canady retired first, followed by Alpha team, then Finn, Fett, and Teedo. The Queen stood and the three remaining at the table also rose.

"I have enjoyed your company immensely."Arinlo addressed them all but reached out and touched Kaydel's arm, "Walk me out?"

Kaydel nodded and moved with the Queen into the receiving hall.

Her guards were waiting on either side of the home's main door. There was also a cart piled high with boxes and garment bags, "For tomorrow's services. I can't have Resistance uniforms marching through the palace."

Kaydel nodded and was secretly excited. It has been years since she has worn Naboo couture and a part of her missed it dearly. She embraced her friend and the Queen left the home without any other fanfare.

Back in the dining room, Poe sat back in his chair with a sigh, "Now that is an amazing woman," he gestured with his thumb to the entry hall.

Trinity didn't rely, just pushed some food around the plate in front of her.

"Did you know she was elected when she was just sixteen?" Poe said with excitement. "I didn't know my head from my ass at sixteen!"

She looked up at this comment now, not used to cursing. Her mind drifted to her time at that age. She had already completed basic trooper training and was being sent on missions, mostly reconnaissance. Her 'pleasing' physical appearance had made her a prime candidate to extract intel.

By the time she was eighteen she was sent on more _selective_ missions. She remember her first, she had been given the order to seduce and sleep with the governor of a mining community to steal files from his estate.

After a while she learned to attempt enjoyment within these affairs, but some of her marks were elephantine, ancient, or disfigured and often she would scald herself attempting to rid her body of their smell, touch, and taste.

She had even been punished once by Snoke for marring her perfect skin after a successful mission against a Hutt. Trinity had scrapped at her flesh for hours leaving her torso raw and bloody.

TN 1002 had been one of Snoke's favorites and her blood still curdled thinking of the numerous times that she had been called to his personal chambers. Yet another reason that she felt faithful to Kylo Ren within his new role.

There were many missions like those and as soon as she turned twenty-one and could apply for commission, she joined the Officers, donned her white armor and never again had to spread her legs at the whims of the High Command.

Of course she never spoke of those times, not even her Supreme Leader knew of her past missions and the unwilling but intimate connection she had to Snoke. A few trips to reconditioning had made them fuzzy anyhow.

"Are you okay?" Poe's words brought her out of a trance.

"Yes," Trinity smiled and stood, "I think I will turn in for the night."

Poe watched her leave the room, "Was it something I said?" He softly questioned himself.

* * *

Kaydel was up with the sun, shifting quietly through the house, placing boxes and bags in front of doors, knocking before moving on to the next. She came to Ben's door and used the access code that she had stolen from Leia years ago to disengage the lock and enter the room.

Rey was lying on her stomach, her body half thrown over Ben's. Her back was bare and the thin sheet just covered her rear. There was no doubting what had transpired the night before and Kaydel knew that they were now linked in every possible way.

She moved across the room and hung a garment bag on the front of the fresher door before pulling what appeared to be Ben's tunic off the floor. Approaching the bed she studied them. Ben's face was peaceful and it almost felt as if heat was rising from their combined bodies.

"Rey," Kaydel whispered, reaching out and lightly touching the girl's shoulder.

Stirring from sleep, Rey looked over her shoulder and saw the kind face of Kaydel. She turned her head back and looked upon the sleeping face of Ben, his body bare and warm under hers.

"You need to come with me," Kaydel prodded.

Rey shifted, attempting to not wake Ben. As she moved in the bed, the sheets pulled with her, exposing the V shaped muscles and the dark smattering of hair

low on Ben's hips. Using the Force, Rey readjusted the blanket feeling a possessiveness over his body.

Looking down on her self, she was completely nude. Kaydel had turned her head slightly and was holding out Ben's black tunic. She quickly pulled it over her head. They padded through the room and once they were in the hall, Rey finally spoke, "What is going on?" Her face held worry.

"Nothing to be concerned about, but we must ready for Leia's funeral and I figured that I could be more help than Ben."

Confused, Rey followed her friend around to another hall into a room similar to Ben's but with cream colored walls.

"You can use my fresher if you need to," Kaydel pointed to a door on the other side of the room and went to fuss with two black bags that hung from the closet doors.

Rey crossed the room and closed the door of the fresher behind her. She was even more sore this morning and took a long and relaxing shower, noting the two thumb sized bruises just over her hip bones. When she exited, with a towel wrapped around her chest and one rubbing at her hair she let out a gasp.

From the bags, Kaydel had produced two dresses. "The traditional color of mourning on Naboo is gray," the blonde commented.

Rey had never worn a dress before, thinking that they were not suited for scavenging or fighting, but she had also never seen anything more beautiful, well except perhaps aside form Ben's face when she had stroked him in the shower. She shivered at the memory.

"I can see now how you would be more help than Ben with this…" Rey points to the folds of silk and chiffon.

Kaydel giggled but moved Rey to sit down at a low desk with a mirror in front of it. "Let's do something about this first," she says, running her fingers through Rey's damp hair.

She when to work twisting sections around her finger and pinning them in hopes that they would dry in curls. Loose braids were pulled back from either side of her face and pinned at the back of her head. The remaining hair was tucked under and pinned in place.

Rey coughed when Kaydel sprayed her hair down with the foulest smelling stuff. The pins at the fount of her hair were removed and soft curls framed her face.

"Thank you for all of this…" Rey started.

"It's just hairspray and bobby-pins," Kaydel answered offhandedly.

For some reason, tears started to form in Rey's eyes, "Not just this, but for being here, for accepting Ben, for not treating me like a traitor for loving him."

Kaydel stopped her fussing and placed her hands on Rey's shoulders, meeting her watery gaze in the mirror. "I knew Ben before he became Kylo Ren. I knew there was still good in him. You have brought him back. You are good for him and I don't doubt your ability to keep him in check."

Rey wiped her eyes, took a large breath, and smiled at her friend, also being thankful that Kaydel didn't ask about her inmate moment with Ben from last night or the position that she was found in this morning.

The blonde went back to work. A black concoction on a spiky wand was run through Rey's lashes and Kaydel pinched at Rey's cheeks, bringing blood to the surface in a natural blush. She almost didn't recognize the woman looking back at her and she was still in just Ben's shirt.

The dressed was pulled from the bag and fluffed out. It was almost the same dark blue-gray of Ben's room. It was a simple design, short but flowing sleeves fell from the shoulders of the gown. The neckline feel in a deep V, exposing most of her breast bone. A lace camisole was stitched into the dress due to the top being sheer. The designs of the lace obstructed her nipples, but much of her upper chest was only covered in a wash of fabric.

The asymmetrical skirt flowed out in layers of silk and chiffon. The right side of the dress was cut up just above her knee. When she moved, the slightly different tones of pewter looked like the angry waves on Ahch -To.

A dark silver cuff necklace was fitted around her throat and the lines of the piece followed the dip of the dress's neckline. Thinking that Rey was not ready for heels, Kaydel fitted simple sandals to her feet and clasped the ankle strap in place.

Rey appraised herself in the mirror again while Kaydel readied herself, which took a fraction of the time.

* * *

Ben stretched lazily, searching for her warm body but he only found cold bedsheets. He was wide awake now and franticly looking around the room for her. She was nowhere and no sound came from the fresher.

He jumped from the bed, naked as the day he was born. He reached out with the Force trying to sense her.

Rey felt the prickle at the back of her neck.

 _I'm fine,_ she sent through their bond. _Just get dressed and come get me from Kaydel's room._

He sighed as he tried to get his heart to slow. There was no way he could exist without her now. They had joined in every way possible…well all but one, but he shook the thought from his head and now he noticed the garment bag hanging on the door.

The charcoal gray suit within looked Alderaanian. He fitted the collar tight around his throat and then laid the darker gray cloak across his chest, fastening it in place with dark silver clips. His black boots would have to do and he tucked the fitted pants into them.

Quickly running his fingers through his hair he left the room, following Rey's Force signature down the hall and to the left. Out of all the identical doors in the hall, he knew which one she was behind.

There was a knock and Rey's stomach fluttered. She had never looked like this, Ben had never seen her in anything but her threadbare clothes from Jakku or borrowed items from the Resistance. What if he didn't like the way she looked? What if he was displeased?

Kaydel walked to the door and cracked it open, seeing it was Ben she opened the door wider and stepped aside, watching his face.

Rey stood in the middle of the room, wrapped in deep gray, adorned with silver, eyes dark, and cheeks pink. He felt as if he was melting into the floor under her beauty. She bit her lip and gazed at the floor, cheeks flaming under his stare.

He felt her embarrassment through the bond and he crossed the room in three strides, cupping her face and kissing the unneeded thoughts from her mind.

"Watch the hair!" Kaydel warned from across the room.

Rey laughed and broke the kiss. She finally looked at him. He was still in dark colors but the gray was a welcome change and the cut of the jacket showed off his frame.

Ben looked up, hearing a shuttle fly over the home and start to land.

"Time to go?" Rey asked.

He just nodded his head, taking her hand and placing it in the crook of his elbow before guiding her from the room. He couldn't help that his gaze fell to her a few times on the short walk to the entry hall.

Poe and Finn wore more traditional suits and Kaydel and Rose had matching form fitted dresses, all a softer gray than what Rey and Ben wore.

Ben's crew was staying behind, not knowing the General and wanting to give their leader and the Resistance a change to grieve.

"Wow…" escaped Finn's lips as he saw Rey enter on Ben's arm. Rose couldn't even be upset with his expression since she too marveled at Rey's beauty. The gray dress billowed around her ankles like smoke and she almost had the same air about her that Queen Arinlo possessed.

The rest of the group watched as Ben led Rey from the home, Poe wore a scowl on his face.

Chewie was already on the tarmac, his bandolier was replaced with a dark rust colored stash. He let a low purr as Rey walked by him and onto the waiting ship.

With the rest of the Resistance crew onboard, Rey released Ben's arm. She could fell all of their eyes on her and it made her squirm.

"You look beautiful," Kaydel whispered in the small cabin of the craft.

Rey's cheeks flushed pink.

"Like a Princess," Rose added.

Poe scoffed, but he was ignored.

The flight was short and quiet, each of them remembering the reason for their trip into the city center. The ship touched down in the gardens at the back of the palace, no need for a grand holo-broadcasted spectacle.

The Queen's guards stood against an ivy covered wall and pulled back the greenery as the group approached. They each disappeared through the hidden door and filed down the twisting stone staircase into the catacomb. The droids were the last to clunk down the stairs.

Leia was just as he had left her the night before, laid out in the open casket looking beautiful and at peace. The room smelled of the flowers that adorned her hair. Kaydel was all ready sniffling as tears slipped down her face.

As Ben walked to the head of the room, he ran his hand over the vault of her grandmother, thinking about how Vader's darkness had killed her, leaving her children motherless, and he vowed to never idolize his grandfather ever again. His gaze flickered to Rey and for just a moment he wondered…but then dashed the hopeful but terrifying thought from his mind.

He rested his hand on the curved metal of the casket, "Thank you for coming to honor my mother," he looked up at the pilot, "Thank you for allowing me to bring her home."

 _Thank you for coming home,_ Rey said through the bond.

The corner of his lip turned up at her internal comment before continuing his speech, "My mother was many things. She was a Princess, not only to Alderaan, but also of Naboo. She was also brave, a Rebel, a Senator, a General, and a friend." His eyes fell to Kaydel. "She once told me that as an Alderaanian, she would answer rage with wisdom, fear with imagination, and war with hope. This is what she built her life around, this is what she lived and died trying to accomplish."

He dropped his gaze again, "For all that I have done to prevent her vision from coming to fruition, I will be eternally sorry, but although Leia Skywalker Organa Solo is forever gone from this system, what she stood for will always be engrained in each person she touched and we will rise, we will build the galaxy that she wished for us."

Rey caught the tears that threaten to roll down her face, both touched by the words that Ben had said about his mother and also to proud of how far he has come from the creature in the mask that haunted her dreams and hunted her down in the woods of Takodana.

Ben reached into his pocket and pulled out his mother's two stoned ring. "I can't remember a time that my mother didn't wear this ring," he held it up and let the light catch it just so. "It was crafted here in Naboo, after Senator Amidala gave birth to twins, Luke and Leia," he pointed to each stone. "It was given to Queen Breha Organa for safe keeping and presented to my mother on her sixteenth birthday."

"It represents the infinite bond between two parts of a whole," he ran his finger along the cord of gold that wrapped around each stone, never ending, never breaking. "I first thought about allowing it to be laid to rest with her, but found something much more fitting," he smiled and looked down at the gold dice, still intertwined around her fingers. "But I think I know what she would like for me to do with such a symbol of kindred affinity."

Rey's heart skipped a beat and her breathing picked up. She knew that he would need to make her an official offer for her to accompany him back to the Order, but she didn't expect this. She felt hot all over, nervous.

Ben took the ring and pressed it between his palms, closing his eyes and drew strength from both his grandmother and his mother. A light shone from between his hands and it cast a rainbow of colors around the room from the stained-glass windows.

When he opened his eyes, he stepped forward. "For the daughters that she wish for when all she got was an idiotic and neurotic son," he smiled and pulled his hands apart. The ring had split in two prefect halves, the Force melding the gold back around each stone. He presented one half to Queen Arinlo and the other to Kaydel.

The pit of Rey's stomach felt heavy. She felt embarrassed and disappointed at the same time. She knew that both the Queen and Kaydel had more of a history with Leia and the Solo family, but there was still a place, deep in Rey's heart, that urned for such a token of affection.

Queen Arinlo reached up and placed her hand on the right side of Ben's face, where Rey's mark sat and a pang of jealousy ran through her.

"What a man you have become, Ben Solo," the Queen spoke with tears in her eyes.

In turn, Arinlo, Kaydel, and Poe stood at the head of the room and shared stories and of words of wisdom from Leia. Ben went to stand beside Rey, resting his hand at the small of her back.

At their connection he felt her uncertainty and discontent but couldn't place the meaning behind the feelings within the bond. He looked down at her but Rey kept her sight on Poe who was discussing some of his fond memories of Leia.

Rey smiled when Poe talked about the time that Leia had slapped him across the face and demoted him, stating that he had never respected her more than in that moment. He talked about making her proud by become the highest ranking officer of the Resistance and his vow to work with Ben and Rey towards peace.

They were all quiet for a moment. Those who were Force sensitive almost felt Leia in the air. A sense of calm, happiness, and love fell over the room and it was undoubtably Leia saying her farewell.

* * *

 **AN: Sorry for the longer delay...work has been crazy. I hope you enjoyed this chapter even though it was a little bit more filler. Any time that I describe a dress/outfit in this story that I pull from real life I will try to let you know what dress to look up.**

 **Rey's funeral Dress: Malene Birger Black Comitma Maxi Dress (but think of it in dark blue/grays)**

 **As always, I love reading your comments and thoughts! Thank you for the ongoing support and love.**


	17. Seventeen

**Seventeen**

After the service the majority of the group was ushered into a garden side dining room and fed a light brunch. The Queen gathered Ben and Rey and they were led to another side of the palace.

"A speeder has been made available for you this afternoon," Arinlo commented as they walked down another long hall. Rey vaguely remembered the Queen stating that Ben should show her more of Naboo. "But we must take care of something first."

Ben and Rey looked at each other, not knowing what the Queen had in store for them, but followed none the less. They came upon a set of doors that had to be close to twenty feet tall and gilded in gold.

"My private quarters," Arinlo said over her shoulder. When the doors opened, four woman jumped to their feet, rushed to the Queen and waiting for instructions. "My ladies," her soft voice filled the room.

"Your majesty," they all said in unison and curtseyed.

Rey started to connect the dots and figured that these were the Queen's maidens that she would be joining in their farce to hide her turn identity from the First Order. She was motioned over by the Queen and went to stand with the group of woman.

"Girls, this is…" Arinlo started. "What would you like to be called?"

Glancing back at Ben, Rey wasn't sure if she should take another name. He sent her a boyish smile in return and they didn't even need to speak through the bond, "Kira," Rey answered. "Kira Rey."

Arinlo reached out to the two closes girls, "I'm sorry my dears, but Kira and Kylo will need to access your minds for a moment and deposit some memories."

The woman just nodded their head, never thinking to question their Queen's reasoning.

Ben now stepped forward and joined Rey. Their hands made physical contact, the Force and their bond flowing between them. They reached out their hands that were not clasped together and Rey started to feed the lies into the girl's minds. Her arrival over six months ago from Stewjon and her loyalty and love for the Queen. Ben implanted memories from his time at court, when he used to watch the ladies in waiting, placing Rey into the memories with the current group of servants.

Rey wove a tale of coming from a great family, a dream that she had many times as a child. Finally Ben gave them one last memory, from when he had entered the palace yesterday, just a simple side ways glance through his mask, as he noticing Kira in an alcove, feelings of lust and intrigue were attached to the memory.

When they broke their influence over the woman, they all blinked as if coming out of sleep. Arinlo clapped her hands, "Ella, Sarash, assist Kira with a day dress."

The woman nodded and grabbed Rey by the wrists, pulling her off towards a dressing screen. "What is wrong with this dress?" Rey call out.

"You are one of my ladies now, you can not be seen out with Kylo Ren as if you are in mourning."

Rey let herself be dragged behind the screen and the two woman set to work undoing everything that Kaydel had done this morning. Her hair was reset and the dark dress was stripped from her body.

In it's place, a cream colored dress was slipped over her head and zipped up the back. This one also had a plunging neck line, almost running down the entire bodice of the dress. Flowers in all shades of pastel were embroidered into the sheer silk overlay, creating a beautiful texture. The skirt was gathered at the waist and flowed down to the floor.

A few pins were adjusted in her hair and then she was sent back out into the room.

"A desert bloom," Arinlo mused. "Don't you agree?" She offered towards Ben.

He was in complete awe of her. He had fallen in love with her in the cold forest of Starkiller, her clothes tattered and sweat stained, but seeing her like this was almost more than his heart could take. He had dreamed of her wrapped in Naboo silk, adorned with silver and gold. The ring back on his shuttle burned a hole in his mind.

Rey scoffed, "Why doesn't he have to change?" She pointes to Ben and then gestures to her new dress.

The Queen smirked, "I wouldn't dare tell Kylo Ren, the Supreme Leader of the First Order and all of the known and unknown regions of the galaxy, what to do."

"Yeah right," Rey muddled under her breath, knowing full well that the Queen had no issue with telling her cousin what was on her mind.

Ben finally found himself and walked towards her, reaching out his arms. When she was within reach he planted his hands on either side of her face, tracing them down over her shoulder, to her ribs, and settling on her hips. He pressed his thumbs into the divots just above her hip bones, right where he had marked her the night before. "You are breathtaking."

She blushed.

"My work here is done," Arinlo said as she motioned for her ladies to follow out of the room.

The space was so quiet that they could hear each other's hearts beating. The rhythm of their breaths became synced. He bend to kiss her, softly, as if she _was_ a desert bloom that could be easily crushed.

Rey reached up and touched her mark on the side of his face. She broke the kiss and rested her forehead against his, "You promised me a tour of Theed."

"I would hate to disappoint you," he said with a smiled and then took her hand, placing it into the crook of his elbow.

They paced through the palace and out to the gardens where a two person Mandalorian speeder was waiting for them.

The craft was sleek, aerodynamic, and hovered a foot off the ground. It was painted in stark whites and gleaming silver of the metal panels that hugged and twisted around the luxurious personal transport craft.

Ben walked her over the far side of the vehicle and pulled open the passenger hatch. The seats were covered in white leather and Rey didn't think that she had ever felt anything so soft as she slid into her seat.

Once she had tucked her feet and the skirt of her dress inside the compartment, Ben released her hand with a smirk and resealed the hatch. He walked to the pilot's side and slid in next to her.

"Buckle up," he said as he held out a shoulder strap. When she slipped her arm through, he moved his hand down the strap, grazing the exposed skin of her chest and watched as her nipples hardened under the thin fabric of the bodice.

Rey squirmed in her seat, her center already pooling with heat. Beyond his touch, there was something very appealing about watching him flick the craft to life and grip his large hands around the controls.

The engines purred and Rey could tell this was a very tuned piece of machinery and she almost itched to look at what was under it's shiny panels.

Ben pushed the trusters and the craft sped off at a steep angle, just clearing the palace walls. Rey gripped her seat but also let out a laugh of excitement.

Much of Theed was situated on the edge of a cliff, sheering sides falling hundreds of feet before meeting the forest and swamp lands below. Just north of the palace, half way down the cliff and dug into the side of the hard stone was what used to be the pride of the Republic's Navy.

Three tarmacs jutted out from bays of hangars, strips of underused blacktop against an otherwise sea of green trees. "They used to train some of the best pilots right here in Theed," Ben started to recite the history of his home town. "If my time line is correct, I believe that your Commander's parents were trained here."

Rey looked in awe out of her window, imagining the hangar busy with crafts, X-wings and other fighter planes launching off of the pads.

Further along the cliffs Rey saw great rivers that seemed to just drop off the sides, landing in a plume of mist, "What is that?" She asked with fascination.

Ben didn't answer, just banked the craft and flew over the river and then out over the cliff, he watched Rey's eyes dance with delight. He took the speeder along side of the falls, pushed a button to retract the glass screen on Rey's side.

Droplets landed on the craft and Rey stuck her arm out, watching her hand disappear into the water up to her wrist. "Waterfall…" she mused, thinking back to how Ben had described seeing Finn's hands through the bond, "as if reaching through a waterfall."

He banked the craft again, flying further down the cliffs, away from the city. Smaller waterfalls spilled over and he found a small break in the trees, just large enough to set down the speeder.

Rey was already freeing herself from the restraints and was looking for the hatch release, ready to explore this new part of Naboo. Ben flipped another switch and both of their hatches opened and Rey was out before he could come to her.

She lifted the skirt of her dress, hating to soil something so pretty, but her sandals were already sinking into the soft ground by a small pool. She kicked them off with a few flicks of her feet and the moss covered floor felt heavenly between her toes.

Ben came to join her, holding out his hands for her as they followed a little path down to the water's edge. As they approached the falls, the spray stuck to their hair, forming strings of pearls in Naboo's strong sun.

Realizing that her dress would be ruined, Rey released the fabric from her hands and let it skim against the spongy ground. Ben pulled her further towards the cascades of water and they were now balancing between rocks, pushed into place by the strong currants of the river above.

"What are you doing Ben? I can't swim." Rey called over the roar of the water as they inched closer and closer, to the point that she feared they would be pulled into the churning water below.

"Do you trust me?" He called back.

"With everything," she answered without hesitation.

He gripped her hand tighter, holding out his free hand and calling upon the Force the part the water as if they were sheer curtains. He pulled her through the opening as the water closed behind them.

They were behind the waterfall, on a small outcropping of rocks and a shallow cave further in. Rey again stuck out her arm, watching her hard disappear into the water, "It's cold," she commented as gooseflesh flared across her arms.

"It's spring fed," Ben replied, moving to run his large and warm hands along her chilled flesh.

"This is amazing Ben. Thank you for showing it to me."

She was now turned to him, his hands still stroking her arms. Heat started to radiate from inside of her and the prickling of her skin was now for an entire different reason.

"You know that I would show you anything…give you anything…" He bend down and kissed her neck.

Rey just hummed in reply.

"I will show you the Forbidden Gardens of Nuswatta, give you the crystal fields of Calius saj Leeloo, worship you in the Esraza Temple…" he kissed a new spot of her skin with each statement. He had just placed an open mouth kiss to her jaw line and was search for her panting lips, "Wed you in the Cathedral of Winds…" he whispered.

Her mind was twisted up in him, battling to listen to his devotion. At his last statement Rey sucked in a sigh and his lips found hers. She melted into him, wrapping her arms around his neck. Had she heard his words correctly? She couldn't be sure as they seemed to have been said so softly across the bond.

She pulled herself up his body, on instinct he gathered the skirt of her dress so that she could wrap her legs around his middle. Rey pulled herself flat to him, wishing that the clothing that separated them was absent.

Skimming his hands up her thighs, Ben groaned into her mouth when his fingers came into contact with the texture of lace that was covering her rear. He wanted nothing more than to see her standing before him covered in lace, but this moment was frantic. So he gathered the fabric in his hand and pulled, feeling the delicate weave give way.

When Rey felt her undergarment ripped from her body she bit down on his lower lip and he rewarded her with a growl from deep in his chest. "I want you," she panted as she gripped his damp hair and pulled. She was sore, but her body hungered for him.

Ben tuned and walked towards the water soaked cave wall behind them. He pressed her against the cold stone and found a sight ledge a few feet from them, shifting down he set her upon it.

The mist from the waterfall had coated everything in a overglaze of moisture and Rey could feel the back of her dress becoming soaked but couldn't care as she watched Ben work the silver clasp that held his cloak in place.

The thick wool garment fell to the cave floor along with his suit jacket. Now Rey grabbed at his lapels and pulled him to her once more. She needed to feel the heat of his skin under her fingertips and she worked the buttons of his shirt, pushing it over his strong shoulders. She mused that this might be one of her favorites things to do.

He was again attacking her neck, pulling the side of her dress down, the dipping neckline and matching cut at the back of the dress made it easy to expose her pert breast. He took it into his mouth and Rey arched her back, pressing her head against the hard stone wall.

Her hands explored his chest, running over the dimpled skin of his healed wounds at his shoulders and flank. She was always drawn back to the ribbon that led to his face. She followed it and again gripped at his hair, holding him at her breast and then asking wordlessly for him to give attention to the other side of her chest.

Ben obliged her command and pulled at the other side of the bodice. Rey now reached down and worked at his trousers, thankful for the more traditional closure. His hands were on her thighs, working up her dress.

Rey freed him from the confines of the dark wool and stroked him a few times, his forehead falling to her shoulder. His breathing was ragged and he mumbled incoherent words of affection into her skin.

"Ben," she breathed, and his eyes shot up to meet hers. Rey took her heels and pressed them into the back of his still fabric covered thighs.

He pulled her hips forward, his tip meeting her warm and wet folds. He reached up and stroked the side of her face, wrapping his fingers around the back of her neck and placing his thumb under her chin, forcing her to hold his gaze.

The beautiful sight when he slid within her would be forever engrained in his mind. A mix of pain and pleasure hung in her expression and her eyes rolled back in her head and she moaned out in relief.

There was nothing slow or gentle about their joining. It was filled with need and longing. They pulled at each other, teeth and nails running along pale skin. Her moans and his grunts echoed around the cave as he thrusted into her time and time again.

He started to feel her tighten, her breath coming in short inhales, her nails dug into his shoulders. Bending to kiss her, he tilted his hips and continued his assault on her.

Her release hit like an astroid, crashing into an endless sea, blurring everything from sight. Her body clamped down and she swore that she could feel ever ripple of Ben as he continued to move within her. She opened the bond, wanting to feel what he was feeling.

A wave of pleasure washed over Ben as he watched her unfold before him. She had opened the bond and he could feel everything that she could. Within a second his body had coiled and spent. Her heels firmly holding him within her, he released.

His feelings were shot to her within the bond and the bliss of his orgasm causes her core to flex and draw him further in. Her body was singing for him to be deeper, drinking him in, holding him until he was empty.

They remained joined until their breathing and hearts had slowed. When he slid from her, Rey whimpered as if a piece of her own being had been removed.

Ben righted himself, refastening his pants and then helped Rey from the ledge that she was still perched on. He could have left her there all day, looking well spent and lovely after their love making.

Once on her feet, Rey looked down at herself, pulling the straps of her dress back into place. "I think I'm no longer decent to be taken around Theed…" Her eyes were dark with lust, "Take me home."

Ben was upon her in a moment, kissing her lightly. "As you wish." He took her hand and they exited the cave just as they had entered. He helped her into the speeder, not caring that her soiled dress would most likely ruin the pristine white seats.

It started to rain on the short flight to the estate and Ben brought the craft down as close the the entry as possible. He opened the hatches and made a run for the home. When he didn't hear her footfalls behind him he stopped and turned.

Rey was standing in the center of the landing pad, arms outstretched, and head turned up to the sky. Her pale dress was soaked through and clung to her body like a second skin.

He would never stop being amazed by her, finding joy in the most insignificant things. She was luminous even as a storm raged on around her. She was the calm, she was the beacon, she was his true north.

Standing in the rain with her, he watched. Rey twirled a few times under the heavy downpour and then looked to him. He held out his hand and unlike the first time that he had offered it to her, she ran to him, jumping into his arms.

He laughed, a true and genuine laugh and cradled her to his chest and then walked towards the house. Her teeth were already starting to chatter from the frigid rain. "You will catch a cold being out there like that," he chastised.

They were in the home now, he still carried her through the halls and towards their room. Poe stuck his head out from the dining room where he had been going over some holopads of information about any remaining Resistance supporters around the galaxy.

He saw Rey, soaked to the bone in another pretty dress, being carried in Kylo's arms. She laughed and smiled up at him, she stroked his neck, she replied, "You know how to keep me warm." Kylo chucked lowly and they rounded the corner. Poe narrowed his eyes and hissed.

Ben carried her all the way to the fresher and help releaser her from the now dirt stained and soggy dress. It fell with a sloppy smack to the floor and she was completely bare to him. "How is it possible that I want you again," he said just above a whisper.

Her whole body seemed to glow pink as she squeezed her thighs together, twisting one knee in front of the other and she wrapped her arms around her chest, assuming bashfulness.

"You are maddening," he huffed as he crossed the room and took her face in her hands, kissing her senseless. When she was almost begging for him, he released her, "Enjoy your shower," he smirked, kissed her once more and then left the fresher, closing the door behind him.

Rey stood in disbelief. Her body had started wind tight and he had just left her. Groaning out is displeasure, she worked the nobs on the shower. The hot water felt heavenly and when her hands skimmed between her legs her body shook, still overly sensitive. She rubbed herself and opened the bond.

Ben had quickly changed in to dry clothes and then went to find his troopers Fett and Teedo. They were due to report into Hux and he wanted to monitor the comm.

The troopers were housed in a more meager room, but still better than the barracks aboard a star destroyer. "Hux sent an alert earlier this morning ready for a report," Fett offered when Ren entered their quarters.

"Good," Kylo answered, standing taller with a flat affect across his face. "Open the comm link with him. Give him the report that I have been in meetings with the Queen and her council. Tell him that we plan to move on within the next day."

Fett nodded and pulled out his holopad, typed in a passcode, and set it onto a small table in the room. Ren stood off to the side, out of range of the pad's sensors.

Within a few seconds Hux's face came into frame and his snide voice rang out. "About time, you incompetent idiots."

Teedo tried to hide the contempt from his face. Fett covered and started to speak, "Sir, the Supreme Leader has been meeting with the Queen and her royal council and appears satisfied with the outcomes."

"And Kuat?" Hux asked.

That was the first world that was on their schedule, where the tracking droid had been sent before they recovered it on Naboo.

"Supreme Leader met with the shipyard foremen and the ruling families. Loyalties seem to be holding. The overall feel of the people is fear of the infamous Kylo Ren." Fett relayed.

Hux growled, "So nothing out of the ordinary?"

"No, sir," Teedo answered. "We plan to move to the next world tomorrow."

Kylo leaned against the far wall, pleased with his reformed troopers and their lies to his General. He felt the bond snap open and he sucked in a breath. Rey was sending him her feelings as she pleasured herself in the shower. He softly groaned and clinched his fists.

"What was that?" Hux asked, craning his neck as if he could see to the other side of the room.

Teedo and Fett looked at each other and then over the screen to their Leader who seemed to be in pain, "Just the entertainment for the night," Fett said offhandedly.

Hux grumbled and then disconnected the feed.

Kylo composed himself, "Thank you," he said simply before rushing from the room.

* * *

 **AN: This chapter's dress - Lurelly Diana Gown " Desert Bloom"**

 **Question for the group: Do you think Kylo would cuss?**

 **As always thank you for reading! Thank you for your kind words! I love hearing what you think about the story. I know I spoiled you with two updates this weekend, but it might take longer for the next** **chapter because real life sucks. :) Love you all!**


	18. Eighteen

**How are we at chapter eighteen already?! I still have so far to go...hope you all are in for a long story.**

 **Thank you as always for the amazing support. All of your reviews, follows, and favorites help other readers find this story!**

* * *

 **Eighteen**

He sprinted across the house, skidding around corners and taking off down another hall way. He used the Force to open the door to their room as he approached and also to close it behind him once he entered. He slid into the fresher door, slamming it open with his weight.

Rey looked up just at that moment, still moving her hand between her legs and at the sight of him, flush with an expression of amazement and lust, she climaxed.

"Fuck…" fell from his lips in a drawn out tone as he watched her fall apart.

In a quick motion his shirt was removed and he was stalking towards her. Still half clothed, he entered the shower and took her in his arms. His pants were heavy with water and hung low on his hips, but fell quickly when unfastened.

As he took her against the shower wall, she was still hot and slick from her previous orgasm and he finished embarrassingly fast as an animalistic side of him took over and he thrust into her with determination.

Breathless and again sated, Rey pushed the wet strands of hair from his face, "That will teach you to tease me and then leave."

He chuckled and kissed her, "If this is the result, I can not promise that it won't happen again."

They exited the shower and toweled off in silence. For the next few hours they lounged in bed together, Ben looking over reports on his holopad and Rey attempting to read the Jedi texts that she had taken from Ahch-To.

She huffed out and threw the book down into her lap. "What is wrong?" Ben asked.

Rey pointed her hand at the text, "I can't translate this one part. I might have to ask 3PO if this language is in his database."

"Let me see it," he offered.

"You think you can read an old, dead language?" She was miffed.

He shrugged, "I was a classically trained Jedi at one time. Perhaps it is something that I have already learned."

She thought back to the visions the lightsaber had given her, of Kylo and his Knights watching as Luke's school burned before them. A shiver ran down her spine. It wasn't that she had completely forgotten what Ben was…what he is…but she truly believes that the man with her now would be incapable of such atrocities.

With a sigh, she handed over the book. She watched as Ben traced his fingers over the script at the top of the page, written just larger than the rest. There was also a faded insignia printed on the lower left hand corner of the page, a four pointed star nestled between wings.

"It's a Jedi code…" he started.

"You mean _the_ Jedi code…there is only one." Rey corrected.

"That is what my uncle would have wanted to teach you, but no, there are more than one."

Rey was deep in thought, "How can that be? There is just the Light and the Dark, the Jedi and the Sith."

"There was a group that didn't fit on one side or the other," he ran his finger along the larger print again, "The Gray Jedi."

She scooted closer to him, looking over his shoulder as his eyes searched the page, "You can read it?"

"I don't need to."

"But I want to know what it says…please read it," Rey didn't understand why he was being resistant.

He looked over at her and closed the book, "There is no Dark Side, nor a Light Side…"

"But…" Rey started to protest.

"There is only the Force."

It dawned on her that he didn't need to read from the page because he knew it by heart. She smiled and reached out to lay her hand against his bare chest, encouraging him to continue.

"I will do what I must to keep the balance. The balance is what keeps me together." He placed his hand over hers and she could feel his strong heart beat. "There is no good without evil, but evil must not be allowed to flourish. There is Passion, yet Emotion. Serenity, yet Peace. Chaos, yet Order."

He brought her hand up to his lips and he kissed her palm, "I am the wielder of the flame, the protector of balance." He kissed her pointer finger, "I am the holder of the torch, lighting the way." His lips graced all of her fingers in turn, "I am the keeper of the flame, soldier of balance. I am a guardian of balance…"

Ben looked back up at her again, there were tears in her eyes and he could feel everything through their bond. "I am a Gray Jedi," he spoke softly, finishing the code into the small space between them.

A few emotional crossed Rey's face before she settled for anger. She got up from the bed, needing to move through what she was feeling. Ben waiting patiently, already perceiving her thoughts.

"Why would he not tell me about this?" Rey said not looking to him, half expecting him not to answer. When Ben didn't, she continued, "Luke felt me go to the Darkness, I moved towards it without hesitation but I didn't cross the line. He told me that he had only felt such power once before…" she now looked up, "…in you."

Ben shrugged, pulling his left knee up and resting his arm upon it, "In Luke's time there was only two opposing sides of the coin, Light and Dark, there could be no in between."

Rey finally calmed, sitting at the foot of the bed and pushing for more from Ben.

"What Luke and his Masters before him forgot is that the Force is a religion, not a government or an army. The constricting ideals of the Jedi are what caused my grandfather to turn to the Dark Side, all because the loved a woman more than he love the Light. The Sith Code is purely propaganda, giving Dark side users ease of consciousness for whatever deeds they seem fit for their cause."

She rolled his statement around in her mind, attempting to see where they both fit into this new spectrum of Force use.

"There must always be a balance, but that didn't fit into the Jedi Order and Gary Jedi's were exiled, killed, or pushed to one side of the other."

"We are both Gray…" Rey said with relief in her eyes, finally putting a name to what she felt in both of them.

Ben chuckled, "You defiantly. Me…perhaps one day I will get there."

"But Ben you are," Rey crawled up the bed now, kneeling in front of him. "You were not born to the Darkness, Snoke poisoned your mind. I saw it through the bond, you always wanted to come back to the line between Light and Dark, but he would always knock you back down."

Ben couldn't met her eyes. Having her know everything about him was unnerving and uncomfortable at times.

Rey tilted his chin up, "Snoke pushed you to the Dark, you killed your father," he tried to turn his eyes away again but she gripped his chin harder and forced him to look at her. "But you came back to the Light, unable to harm your mother. It brought me to you, it pushed you to kill Snoke. That line…the balance is what allowed us to have this," she released his chin and brought their hands together, making the bond sing.

"The way you see the galaxy…the way you see me…will never cease to amaze." He laid his forehead to hers, letting her completely in.

She started to reach up and kiss him but he pulled away and stepped out of the bed, holding out his hand, "Come." Ben slid on pants and he passed Rey her chest binding, a sleeveless tunic, and her cut off bottoms.

He took her hand again and led her through the house, down to the lower level and then into the hangar that held the Falcon, "Are we going off world?"

"Not quite…" Ben walked past the freighter and to a nondescript metal door.

The room they entered was dark but she could tell it was large by the echo of their foot steps. Ben walked to a panel near the door and flipped a switch, lights flickered to life.

The room was not finished out like the rest of the home, it was sparse and industrial with exposed metal rafters. Rey walked further in, running her hands over racks of staffs and training sabers. There were training droids, rusted and dusty from lack of use. "This is amazing."

"My mother had it built after the Battle of Endor. It was meant for a place for Luke to train…and later train me."

Rey watched him pick up a training saber, much too small and most likely meant for a child, and he twisted it between his fingers. "I want to try something," she said, reaching for the saber in his hand.

Ben released his childhood training saber and watched as Rey's eyes glossed over. He reached through the bond to try to see what she was experiencing.

Just as with Vader's lightsaber, visions flashed through Rey's mind. Ben as a toddler waving around the piece of wood imitating his uncle who dueled with a training droid. Her Little Ben from the dream world, just starting to play with emitting the Force, having the saber float a few inches above his outstretched hand.

Then the visions shifted. Ben was in his teens, using a training droid and Luke was onlooking. The day before, Han and Ben had an argument before Han left for a job. Ben tapped into his anger and crushed the droid with an outstretched hand.

 _"_ _What did you do, Ben?" Luke yelled, feeling the Darkness through the Force._

 _"_ _I won," Ben answered in a cocky tone. Training was one of the only places that he was in control, like he could actually do something right._

 _"_ _Not like that!" Luke chastised, "Never like that. A Jedi doesn't use anger and hate. We don't draw power from emotions."_

 _Ben threw down the saber and stomped out of the training room._

The next vision of Ben was when he was older, sparing against Luke. He rained down blows with grunts and yells of pain.

 _"_ _Fine Serenity Ben!" Luke called out, barely blocking another parry._

 _What Luke didn't understand, what he never understood, was that within passion Ben found serenity. With emotion came peace and his harmony came with chaos._

 _He twisted and brought down another blow, knocking Luke to his knee. Both had their hands outstretched as if they intended to use the Force on the other. "I yield," Luke said breathlessly._

Rey sensed the satisfaction and power that Ben felt besting the infamous Luke Skywalker. Luke had the same fear in his eyes as she had seen on Ahch-To.

The visions ended and she came to. Ben had a bewildered look on his face and a single tear was running down his cheek. He wiped at it and looked at it with confusion. "What the hell was that?"

"It's happened before, on Takodona with your grandfather's saber. I saw you through a vision before we ever met in the woods."

"How is that possible?"

Rey shrugged, "I didn't know what it was at first, but then figured it was just something that all Force users could do."

"No," Ben looked at the wooden saber still in her hand, "you are unlike any other Force sensitive being I have ever encountered."

Looking down to the dinged and dented rod of wood in her hand, Rey felt awe flow through the bond. "If we had met under different circumstances, do you think that you would have tried to kill me?"

"I did try to kill you," Ben said flatly, remembering stalking her down in the woods, pulling at her mind in a way that would have made a normal being succumb, her knelt before him as Snoke yelled at him to strike true, ordering his TIE fighters to fire upon the Falcon on Crait…he still didn't understand why she loved him. "But yes, if Snoke had pinpointed you and I had been able to feel the Light within you…" he couldn't finish the thought.

She felt his doubt, grieving an act that he had not completed. He started to withdraw and she reached out to him, both physically and mentally. Not wanting him to spiral down to a place she could not follow, Rey decide to change the subject. "Why did you bring me down here?"

This snapped Ben back to the current moment, "I wanted to try something," he used her words and exchanged the child's size training saber with a wooden quarterstaff.

Rey felt the weight of the staff, twirling it in her hands, over her head, and behind her back to see how it stacked up against her Phrik staff. "Are we going to duel?" She asked excitedly.

"I'm going to offer you the training that was not extended to me from either of my Masters."

Standing at attention, waiting for his instruction her skin prickled with anticipation. All those months ago on Starkiller, when Kylo Ren had offered to be her teacher, she could have spit in his face at the thought…but now…

"Your whole life, you had no idea that you could weld the Force, but it was always with you. When you needed just a little extra strength to get to the best scarp, when you healed faster than you should, when you could run faster and longer than others…it was the Dark side of the Force that allowed you to survive." He could see that she wanted to speak, but he held up his hand, "But you always came back to the Light, finding balance and never giving into the Darkness."

Ben clasped his hand behind his back and paced a few steps in each direction like he used to do on the bridge of the Finalizer. "With no Jedi training, what you have done your entire life without even knowing it…is impossible, but here you are." He turned his face to look at her and a Solo smile graced his lips.

"I want to see how you do it," he finally spoke his reasoning.

"How am I suppose to recreate something that I don't even know I'm doing?" Rey questioned.

"Close your eyes," Ben started, Rey complied. "Draw on the emotions of the Dark side of the Force, fear, hate, anger, suffering…"

Rey's mind went back to moments on Jakku where she had almost fallen from wreckage, hanging by one hand over a hundred foot fall. Her heart started to beat faster and her breathing picked up as the fear she had felt gripped her.

"More," Ben said in a raised voice. He had called a training saber to his hand using the Force. "Your parents abandoned you, threw you away like garbage."

She flinched at his words, knowing they were true.

Ben was circling her now, "I hunted you down, kidnapped you, penetrated your mind," He took the tip of his saber and pushed it into her shoulder, making her stagger back.

Her eyes sprung open, anger not only at his words but at his cheap shot.

The fire was in her eyes and he knew that he was on the right track. He reached out his hand, using the Force to wrap invisible fingers around her throat. "I killed Han Solo…the father you always wanted. I wanted to kill your friend…Finn. You only bested me on Starkiller because I was wounded."

Rey was frozen, but then the rage was boiling in her. She sent a wave of the Force across the room, breaking Ben's hold on her and making his feet skid back. She advanced on his, staff positioned above her head ready to rain down blows.

He blocked her parry, "I gave the order to fire on the Falcon…if I couldn't have you then you were to die!" His face morphed in to Kylo Ren.

With a painful cry, Rey continued her attack, her muscles starting to fatigue but an energy within her gave her strength.

"You are weak!" Ben called. "Go deeper. Feed the Darkness with your hatred!"

His voice was haunting her as she was reminded of all the times that Kylo Ren had hunted her down. Strapping her to an interrogation table. Serving her up to Snoke. His eyes were burning like on Starkiller when they had battled.

In her distraction, Ben had bested her, bringing his saber behind her knees and pulling her feet out from under her. She skidded back on the ground trying to retake her stance. He was on her again, she knelt, one knee on the ground, her foot firmly planted attempting to push her to standing.

She had been able to block his downward attach, her staff crossed in front of her chest, keeping his weapon from pushing against her throat. Rey was reminded of when she had found the Force on Starkiller.

It was just as Ben had explained it. She had always been able to tap into the power that the Dark side of the Force offered when she was in need. The suffering and pain of her childhood kept the Darkness satisfied as her hope and compassion kept the balance.

With Ben hovering over her, teeth bared, seething, she remembered Maz's words, _The belonging you seek is not behind you, but ahead._ The hardships that she had suffered in the past were just to prepare her for Ben. She needed to be strong enough to beat Kylo Ren on Starkiler, she had to be determined enough to go against Luke Skywalker, she had to be compassionate enough to go into the belly of the beast to bring Ben back.

Her eyes lids fell closed and her breathing slowed. For all of the fear for survival on Jakku, the hatred of Snoke, the anger at Kylo Ren, and the suffering she faced her entire life, she also had love, hope, and kindness.

When her eyes opened there was a calm that blanketed her features. She pushed with the Light and she rose from the well of despair. Strength grew in her feet, legs, core, and she held her staff in one hand, braced against her forearm, and she reached out with other hand and stroked the right side of his face. "Ben," she said with all the love she had.

He yelled out and stepped away from her, throwing his training saber across the room. "How did you do that?"

Rey shrunk back some, the slightest bit fearful of his outburst. She knew he was known to destroy things in a rage. She could feel the Darkness rolling off of him, he was not able to return to balance as naturally as she was.

Ben was frustrated. "You went right to the Dark, you were bathed in it. I could taste the anger and hate as it rolled off of you. You pulled power from it, used it at will."

She shrugged, not knowing what answer he wanted from her, "I just reminded myself that I love you and that I needed the Darkness to find you.

Apart from when she had answered his mother's question back on Kashyyyk, Rey had not verbalized her love for him, it was always just something felt though the bond. The words spoken in that moment melted him and his rage calmed to a simmer. He may never be able to reach balance at will like Rey could, but he did know that she would always bring him back.

"Everything okay in here?" Came a voice from the door.

Both Rey and Ben looked to the entrance, "Yeah, Trinity. We were just getting in some training." Rey answered.

The Captain looked between the two. It didn't sound like normal training. She knew Kylo's tones well and when he voice had carried into the hangar she wasn't sure what she would find in the unknown room.

"What are you doing down here?" Ben asked, not knowing why she would need to be down in the hangar.

Poe ran up at that moment, pulling back on his jacket. "You figure out what all the yelling was about?" He asked the trooper. He took an extra moment to look over Rey to make sure she was unharmed and then narrowed his eyes at Ren, having heard the tone he had taken with his friend.

"What are you doing down here with Poe?" Rey asked with a knowing smile.

"Oh, he was just showing me the…uh…"

"The nav system on the Falcon…" Poe finished, shrugging his shoulders when Trinity gave him a look of disbelief.

"You mean the decades old, spliced together, hardly functioning, nav system?"

Trinity sent Rey an uncomfortable and pained expression as the Captain's gaze shifted from her to Ben. Rey felt slightly guilty for calling both of them out on the ridiculousness of their cover, but could understand Trinity's unease as she felt anger start to build in Ben again.

"Why don't you guys go find something to occupy yourselves. I'm interested in Trinity showing me some of her combat training," Rey offered.

Poe didn't need an excuse to leave the awkward situation and he left with a few mumbles about checking on BB-8. Ben on the other hand just stood, eyes locked on his Captain who was now staring at the floor.

"Ben," Rey pushed, touching his arm to get his attention. "Let me handle this."

He sighed, "I have to go see my cousin tonight anyway to go over plans for my departure tomorrow."

Rey's heart clinched, she knew it was coming but to hear him say that he would be leaving her the next day made her want to hold on to him and never let him go, but she needed time with Trinity. So she pulled his face to hers, placing a longing kiss upon his lips and then sending him out of the room.

Ben paused by the door, shoulder to shoulder with Trinity. He turned his head to the right and looked down at her, her eyes still down turned, "Captain," he addressed formally.

"Supreme Leader," she replied and then he was gone.

* * *

 **AN: Do y'all want me to write what went down between Trinity and Poe?**

 **Your reviews, suggestions, and comments mean so much to me. Thank you to each and every one of you for the support and kind words.**


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